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Four more years for Barack Obama! The poor unlucky bastard!

FREE WELFARE, GAY MARRIAGE, ABORTIONS, MUSLIMISM, DEATH PANELS AND ATHEISM FOR EVERYONE!!!

OUR NATION'S FUTURE SUMMED UP ON ONE IMAGE

ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL

Ok. Everyone's sick of politics. I was sick of politics in January. There's been non stop sniping mudslinging lying scratching spitting clawing partisan nonsense going on for as long as I can remember. And that's just the Mike Trout vs Miguel Cabrera MVP argument. The Presidential campaign has been even worse!

So a buncha people went out today to vote for their guy. Problem is 50% of the country thinks the other guy sucks. If Obama wins then the values of our country will go down the tubes. Socialist big government Kenyan Muslims will sent America straight into the Garbage can. And if Romney wins the corrupt lying racist whackjobs will take over the country. Not only that, but the warmongers will get their chance to Attack Iran! No matter who wins tonight, tomorrow all your Facebook feeds will be covered with ERMAHGERD TEH CUNTREE IZ DOOOOMED!

Yeah. It sucks. But let us not get down! The campaign is over! The election is here! The recounts and legal battles will only take a couple more months! THIS IS A HAPPY OCCASION! Let us celebrate with Trading cards! Every time a candidate wins a state, I'll post a card from one of my favorite sets ever!

When Obama wins a state I'll post a Garbage Pail Kid Card, since he's sunk America into the trash according to Fox News.

When Romney wins a state I'll post a Mars Attacks card because of all the death and destruction his Presidency will wreak upon the world according to Daily Kos.

If they tie, um, I guess I'll post this?

I have no cable! so states will be posted sporadically! If at all! I'll be drinking tonight. A LOT. Enjoy!

FUCK YEAH

Got 'em.

Osama Bin Laden has been killed in Pakistan.

Obama will be making a statement tonight.

Here's a card of the guy in charge so this post can technically stay topical to the blog.

Da Man.

Got him with an air strike a ground operation from what I'm hearing on tv Obama just said in his speech. Fuck yeah, military! Fuck yeah Navy Seals! Many thanks to Chris Mays' brother and all his co-workers.

Take that long form and shove it, Fox.

George Bush: "This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001."

Phillies and Mets fans:



USA! USA! USA!

LOL. The Rock got the news before just about everyone else. There's another guy with the BMF wallet.

I almost had a heart attack when I realized...

I forgot to show off my Heritage autograph! Here you go, in a blast from the past format...

Who is this? Robert Jarvik, inventor of the artificial heart.

What is this? An autograph card from 2009 American Heritage Heroes Edition.

Where'd I get it? Jumbo pack from Wally World.

How much did it cost? $5 for the pack.

Why is this so special? DUDE INVENTED AN ARTIFICIAL HEART. THAT BEATS IN YOUR CHEST THUMPITY THUMP AND KEEPS YOU ALIVE. IN UTTER DEFIANCE OF GOD'S WILL HE STARES DEATH IN THE FACE AND LAUGHS. HA HA HA! Plus, an excellent Scrabble player. Ok, maybe I exaggerate slightly like the Lipitor ads. It's my first auto from American Heritage and I'm overly wowed by the cool. I'd trade it in a heartbeat for a piece of the Space Shuttle though. Pun not intended.*

Oh, by the way, Auto-Matic is on permanent hiatus until I win the lottery or one of the other contibuters adds something. If you want I'll cross post this over there, but I'm a one blog writer now.

Here's a couple of other inserts I haven't shown off yet:

The short prints from the set appear to be 1956 Topps cards of Barack Obama and Abe Lincoln. The whole Illinois connection, don't you know. Obama's a Sox Fan, but Abe couldn't have been a Cubs fan since they were formed in 1870 and didn't become the Cubs 'till 1898. Abe might have also been a Sox fan like Obama if not for Booth since the Chicago National League team was called the White Stockings from 1870-1875.


Here's the last insert I didn't have, A Hero's Journey. Not to be confused with A Writer's Journey. I think this set is all Lincoln, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Since Topps recycled that same awful painting of Abe, I don't care about it too much. I'm too busy trying to decide which baseball team Abraham rooted for. The New York Mutuals? The Brooklyn Eckfords? Maybe the Newark Eurekas. Philadelphia Athletics, perhaps? I think it might have been the Washington Nationals. Abe seems like he'd support the local team.

*Whenever someone says pun not intended, it sure as hell was intended. I edited that from 'nanosecond' to 'heartbeat' just to throw in another terrible heart pun. I REGRET NOTHING.

Obama Cards or Nobama Cards

That is the question. So here's the deal: I'm going to be collecting the Topps Obama set. The question is: do you want to see it on here or not. Vote in the poll up at the right, and if you have anything to say about it leave a message in the comments. If anyone else is collecting it or just want some leave a comment. Five packs in and I've already got doubles.

I will be ripping and posting these three packs:



I can post 'em here or on A Pack a Day, doesn't matter to me. You've got one day to vote because the first post is tomorrow. Thanks.

What's more unlikely

A black President of the United States...


Or the Cardinals in the Super Bowl.


I think after the Keynote Address in 2004, it was expected that Obama would make a run at the Presidency at some point in the future. However, I don't think ANYONE ever thought Edge would make it to the Super Bowl after leaving Indianapolis for Arizona.

When I was hunting eBay for an image to use (since they don't seem to have packs of Topps Obama cards anywhere here in Georgia yet) I saw the thumbnail for this card:


and immediately thought that white light in the background of the card was a campaign-used shirt piece or something. This hobby has messed my mind up.

Ahhh... 12:01PM. Feels good.

First Box Break of the Year: 2008 Timelines - Bonus Round!

So, After I ripped my box I immediately went out and bought four more packs. Why the heck would I do that? This is why:

The local card shop finally got these promo cards in after I pestered them for a couple of weeks before Christmas. I had to buy four packs of Upper deck product to get it though and these were my choices: SP Authentic (meh) Heroes (double meh) Upper Deck X (barf) Masterpieces ($6.75 a pack!) Hockey (no thanks) and Timelines. I still needed a good chunk of the set so four more packs of Timelines was worth it to me. There were only two packs left in the box though, so I grabbed the leftovers and had the owner pick out a couple more when he opened a new one. Here's what I got:

Pack 1:

31 Manny Ramirez
12 Jimmy Rollins
98 Clayton Kershaw RC
120 Jonathan Van Every RC '92
70 Jeff Niemann RC Gold
148 Chase Utley '94
182 Brian Bocock RC '95
252 Alex Gordon '04

Note the two Dodgers. This will become a trend. Disappointing pack, as I only needed the Van Every card. I also don't have the Niemann card, so the gold version becomes a filler for the time being. Gordon is sporting the powder blues which is quite awesome.

Pack 2:

4 Pedro Martinez
87 Wladimir Balentien RC
102 Brandon Phillips '92
YSM-SL Sparky Lyle jersey
146 Felix Hernandez '94
194 Jeff Keppinger '95
275 Hideki Matsui '04

Case hit Sparky-Jo! I'm not sure if I picked this pack out of the remains of the box, or if the owner picked it out for me. Either way, it's pretty cool. I love jersey cards from players who retired before jersey cards became common. Sparky is doubly cool for the name and the epic sideburns. Not quite as cool as this pull, but I like it. Two more Reds is a good thing, because I've got at least three people who want 'em. Also two Yankees and two Mariners in the pack, all of which I didn't have before.

Pack 3:

34 Nick Markakis
79 Josh Banks RC
124 Nick Swisher '92
YSL3556 Joe Pepitone
383 Wesley Wright '95 SP
136 David Ortiz '94
183 Brian Bocock '95
258 Blake Dewitt '04

Here's the danger of buying packs out of two boxes. I've gotten two Brian Bocock die cuts in two packs. I'll let it slide since I got Sparky. The Wesley Wright card is nice since the 1995 SP die cut short prints are harder to get than the other two types, but this one have a slight crimp, on the right corner where it got caught in the wrapper. Oh well. I didn't have a YSL card of Joe Pepitone yet, so that's a cool pickup. Speaking of the Yankees, Nick Swisher would look mightly nice in a Braves uniform. I wonder if the Yanks would be willing to give him up?

Pack 4:

16 Lance Berkman
34 Nick Markakis
98 Clayton Kershaw RC
127 Rico Washington RC '92
333 Clayton Kershaw RC '93 SP
155 Carlos Zambrano '94
205 Ross Ohlendorf RC '95
298 Jeff Clement RC '04

More doubles between the four packs. How in the world did I manage to get two Clayton Kershaw cards in the same pack? Now Reds and Dodgers fans hate me. Trade list will be up soon... I'm not positive, but Ross Ohlendorf might be the only Pirate in the entire set, and all his cards have him in his Yankees uniform. Sad. I only got a pack's worth of cards I needed out of the four packs, but the Sparky and Obama cards more than make up for that. I think I'm going to lose my mind a little bit and try to complete this entire set. I just got a package in that went a LONG way towards that end, which I'll post about soon. Wantlist and trade bait will be up by the end of the weekend.

Card Of the Week 11/04/08

If I get this posted quick enough I can coincide it with the first votes cast in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire. (rats, missed it) The subject of this week's COTW is obvious considering what's going on today.

Now anyone who has followed this blog knows I love the HELL out of the Upper Deck Presidential Predictors set. I love it so much I banned the company from the site for a month when they pulled the Hillary/Morganna pulled card/short print shenanigans. While I liked the original set I really liked the Series 2 set. Why? FIGHTS!!!!

Each of the 5 cards in the set (10 with the Hillary variations) depicted a famous baseball fight with the candidates in place of the brawling ballplayers. Here are the five, with corresponding real life girly slapfight.

PP-10 - Barrett vs. Pierzynski

Note the most egrigious example of the rewriting of history here since Greedo shot first. Barrett popped Pierzynski! Not the other way around! Mickeyfickey deserved it from all acounts too...

PP-11 - Varitek vs. A-Rod

I've always liked Varitek since he went to school at Georgia tech, but this image here ensures I'll be a fan forever.

PP-12 - Piniella vs. Ump

This is from his freakout against the Braves. You'll never catch Bobby in ejections Lou, so quit being a baby!

PP-14 Piazza vs. Clemens

Here's the biggie, the World Series moment between roid raging Clemens and Mike Piazza. The Hillary version of this card is my favorite, I absolutely adore the innocent "Who, ME!?!" look on her face.

None of these are the Card of the Week though. That honor goes to card PP-13, this one here:

A big ol' scrum between the Red Sox and Yankees. And it's in black & white too, so it's got to be from a long time ago back when the world was black & white. I'd love to tell you what game this fight was from, but problem is, I don't know. I've looked everywhere for a similar fight between Yankees and Red Sox players but they've been fighting for a long time now. Is it Powell vs. Cronin? Fisk vs. Piniella? Pepitone vs. Petrocelli? Fisk vs. Munson? (Fisk gets in a lot of fights, apparently) Or is it simply the timeless battle of Good vs. Evil? Many would say when talking about The Red Sox & Yankees or Democrats vs. Republicans it's a case of Evil vs. Evil, but that's neither here nor there. At any rate, this is a nice card of a crawling, scratching, shoving baseball sissy fight and it's a pretty good metaphor for the grueling Presidential campaign WHICH IS NOW THANKFULLY MERCIFULLY OVER. We can finally all have panic attacks about other things now. Upper Deck got the back right too:

IT'S THE ECONOMY, STUPID!!!

Hopefully the credit crunch doesn't completely bork the entire economy no matter which one of these jokers gets into office or we'll all be burning our cards for heat this winter. I'd never burn this card though. Everyone knows Upper Deck is good eatin' cards. Lots of fiber in them suckers.
*burp*

Oh yeah folks, one more thing:

GET YER ASS OUT AND VOTE!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Early voting results are in!

Dixville Notch, New Hampshire:
Barack Obama - 15
John McCain - 6
Chipper Jones - 0?!

Hart's Location, New Hampshire:
Barack Obama - 17
John McCain - 10
Ron Paul - 2
Chipper Jones - 0!!!

Not one vote for Chipper Jones! DAMN YOU NEW HAMPSHIRE!!!!!!!!!!