What What WHAAAAAAT???

FRENCHY'S A MET?!?!!?!?!?!

...

Half the female population of Atlanta just committed suicide.

Tony Gonzalez

I'll admit, when I first heard that the Falcons were looking into trading for Tony Gonzalez my initial reaction was "So they finally realized a young QB could use an impact tight end to throw to in the red zone? Woulda been nice if they figured that out last year before they kicked Alge Crumpler to the curb."

Then this morning I heard a rumor on the radio that it might be a big blockbuster sending off our first round pick in this weekend's draft to KC for Tony and Glenn Dorsey of all people. I had a freaking existential crisis last year because we picked Matt Ryan over Dorsey, and after being proven totally utterly wrong about Ryan they are going to go and trade for the guy I wanted in the first place?? As irrational is it sounds, I was ready to just give up football completely if my stupidity was rubbed in my face like that. I listened to my MP3 player the rest of the trip*. 

Then this afternoon, I got back in the car, turned on the radio and heard that Gonzalez was a Falcon. No salt in my wounds package deal, just Tony by himself for a second round pick in 2010. Now that it's real, now that the best tight end in the league is going to be wearing black next year, now that Matt Ryan is going to have White and Turner and Gonzalez to get the ball to, my reaction has changed a bit. 

yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!11

Now go out and get a big side of beef for that defense Dimitroff. I'll quit second guessing you now. Probably.

* For anyone interested the first five random tracks on the player were:

Existential Blues by T-Bone Stankus

Tequila by The Champs

Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes

Boom by Bloodhound Gang

Paranoid by Black Sabbath

BRAVES TRADE FOR A PITCHER

No, not that one.

Javier Vazquez.

I go to AJC to check on the Senate race and BAM, mediocre pitcher in my face.

Details on David O'Brien's beat blog and on MLB Trade Rumors.

Card and possible grumbling to follow.

UPDATE:

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!

I'm liking the trade a little better. Tyler Flowers better not be in the mix.

UPDATE 2:

More details - VaZquez (I've already misspelled his name, sheesh) and Boone Logan for Brent Lillibridge, a pitcher (Maybe Jo Jo Reyes, maybe not) and a prospect. Vazquez can eat innings like I can eat pie, but he seems awfully average. Boone's a lefty so the pressure to try to re-sign Will Ohman is reduced slightly. Both will probably be on the opening day roster.

Lillibridge hasn't developed like they thought he would,had a terrible season last year and looks to be completely blocked by Yunel Escobar. Jo Jo had an awful year in 2008 just like most of the rest of the Braves pitching staff. He's only 23 and was probably rushed to the bigs, so maybe he can rebound. Tyler Flowers is the catching prospect that was tearing up the joint in the Arizona League. He's rumored to be in the deal, probably because he's rumored to be in every deal right now. Nothing confirmed yet, especially since Vazquez has to pass his physical.

UPDATE 3:

Ok now it's a four for two deal apparently. Four prospects out of a group of five and no Jo Jo.

Best comment from the Mets Blog:

We’ll bomb him like Carrie Fisher bombed Elwood’s apartment….

Mets fans seem to be as panicky as Braves fans so that calms my ragged nerves a bit. Of course we're both looking up longingly at the Phils.

Down off the ledge Canuck...

LAST UPDATE:

Ok, David O'Brien's got the details:

Tyler Flowers
Brent Lillibridge
Jon Gilmore
Santos Rodriguez

for Vaz and Boone. Tyler Flowers actually called David and said he was in the deal.

So what he have is...
A slugging catcher prospect who tore up the Arizona Fall League but hasn't actually played above A-ball yet,
A former top prospect who played poorly while being shuffled between Richmond and Atlanta but still has upside,
A very raw third base prospect who has loads of potential but won't be ready for at least 3 years,
And a decent lefty relief prospect who hasn't actually played in A-ball yet for...

A workhorse pitcher with a mediocre record and ERA who can be counted on for about 200 innings and 180 Ks and at least 10-12 wins,
And a 23-year old lefty reliever who provides some depth in the 'pen and has a little upside left.

One of those pieces may very well come back to haunt us in 5 years, but in essence we filled two roster spots for about 12 million and four players who weren't going to contribute much next year. One thing is for sure, Vazquez is not an ace. This is a very good move if the Braves follow it up by trading for Peavy, or signing Burnett or maybe Lowe. If Oliver Perez is our ace next year we're in trouble. If Vazquez is our ace next year, we're in BAD trouble. It's a lot of prospects to be throwing around for someone who is not a premier player, but in the end there's a good chance that 2 years of Javier and several years of Logan might end up producing more than the guys we gave up. It's a decent first step, and it's nice to have it completed before the Winter Meetings, but more has to happen after this in order for the Braves to compete next year.

Now I can finally go hunt for a Vazquez card, and finish up a post I meant to have done hours ago.

Frank Wren - I'll Pass

Kevin Towers drug his feet on the Peavy deal, so Frank Wren is moving on.

No worries, there's still plenty of fish in the sea...

Aaaand Away We Go!

It's Friday on the east coast, so that means Free Agency is upon us. Jake Peavy hasn't been traded to the Braves and probably won't be. I'd link you to here but the Cubs fans are getting unbearable. Braves fans are always rational and well mannered, of course. Here's a slideshow of some top free agents if you're in the mood to click 11 times to see that sort of thing.

Peavy Trade Imminent?

CBS thinks so, and MLB Trade Rumors just picked it up. (Baseball Musings used the same title as me! Cool!) There might be a deal in place to send Yunel, Gorkys, and two pitchers (Morton or JoJo, and a reliever) to the Padres for Jake.

The Braves have been waiting for Kevin Towers to get a move on, and want a deal before free agency kicks off on Friday. Lou Piniella popping his mouth off about the trade probably didn't help the Padres' bargaining position. If anything happens while I'm online, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime I need to put together a condolences package for PunkRockPaint.

So Long Mark

It's pretty much a done deal that Mark Kotsay is getting shipped off the the Red Sox. Good for Mark, since he lands in the middle of a playoff run, and good for us as we get to try out all the rookie outfielders in our system so see if one can take over in center next year. No word on what prospect we would get from Boston, but it will be an improvement over simply losing him to free agency in the offseason. Meanwhile Joey Devine is averaging over a strikeout per inning and has an 0.83 ERA as a set up man for the A's. Ouch. At least we got to see a Braves player hit for the cycle out of the deal.

Rating the Mark Teixeira Trade Rumors Based on Whether I Have Their Cards Or Not

There are about eight thousand rumors swirling about the inevitable Tex deal and to be completely honest none of them look all that great. Here's a list of most of the names being bandied about and the deals rated based on the very scientific method of if I have any of their good cards. I'll list them by teams, with my luck the deal will be made right as I finish typing the post.

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS:

Supposedly the team most likely to make a deal, unfortunately they won't give the Braves the players they want.

Conor Jackson:

Do I have his rookie card? Yes. 2004 Topps and maybe Bowman.

Do I have a jersey or auto? Yes. A USA baseball jersey card from Upper Deck.

A good young player that hits for average and has some pop. About to hit his prime and won't be a free agent for a couple of years. This would be a good pickup for the Braves, but the Snakes don't want to trade him. I just traded a relic card to Dinged Corners, if we get him maybe I could get it back for a pile of Tex cards...

Chad Tracy:

Do I have his rookie card? Not sure. I'd have to check my 2002 Bowman Draft cards.

Do I have a jersey or auto? Yes. 2007 Allen Ginter bat card.

Zona would like to give us Tracy instead of Conor, he's older and a little more versatile but not as exciting as Conor. I have a weird bat card of Tracy where the mini card got pinched by the frame and as a result I can slip the mini card out of the frame now. He's not a great player, but he can play first or third, important since Chipper's banged up again.

Micah Owings:

Do I have his rookie card? I don't know if Ive got any of this 2005 cards, but I sure do have a bunch of his 2007 'rookie' cards.

Do I have a jersey or auto? Nope.

The scuttlebutt is Tracy, Owings and a prospect for Tex. We need pitching desperately, but Owings' bat may make him a better oprtion at first base than as our fifth starter.

BOSTON RED SOX:

Probably won't be making a deal, but the rumor is out there.

Kevin Youkilis:

Do I have his rookie card? Yes. 2003 Topps and Bowman at least, probably more.

Do I have a jersey or auto? I don't think so, I'd have to check.

This rumor keeps getting bounced around even though Youk is almost as good as Tex, and won't be nearly as expensive. The Sox are probably trying goad the Yanks into overpaying as they'd have to move Manny before doing anything. I'd dance nekkid in the streets until I was dragged away if we somehow got Youk.

LOS ANGELES ANGELS:

Doesn't usually rent players, but Tex could make them a World Series favorite.

Casey Kotchman:

Do I have his rookie card? I think I have his Topps Total rookie.

Do I have a jersey or auto? I don't think so, but I'd have to check.

Average first baseman, a few years away from free agency. He'd fill a roster spot, but who knows if he'll develop much more. The Angels are really hesitant to trade him from what I hear.

Howie Kendrick:

Do I have his rookie card? Yes. 2004 Topps Traded, plus a crapload of logo RC's from 2006.

Do I have a jersey or auto? No, but I have an Allen & Ginter Bazooka mini numbered 16/25.

Only 24, hits for average, not power. Strikes out too much. Is versitile and can play 1st, 2nd or 3rd base. Could allow the Braves to move Chipper to first base next year or move Kelly Johnson back to the outfield.

Kendry Morales:

Do I have his rookie card? Yes. 2005 Upper Deck Origins and probably others.

Do I have a jersey or auto? No, but his autographs are plentiful and cheap.

Cuban defector who is stuck in the Angels' minor league system. Switch hitter, high average, not a lot of power yet. Still a decent prospect who could use some at bats in the majors.

LOS ANGELES DODGERS:

They need the offense desperately, but don't count on them to make a deal for Tex.

James Loney:

Do I have his rookie card? Maybe. I think I have the 2002 UD Prospect Premiere card, but I have to check.

Do I have a jersey or auto? I don't think so.

Another very good prospect at first who still needs some development. The Dodgers might be better off grooming their prospects instead of adding another veteran.

NEW YORK YANKEES:

Hell, they might trade for anyone at any time.

Melky Cabrera:

Do I have his rookie card? Yes, 2005 Cracker Jack.

Do I have a jersey or auto? Nope.

A young outfielder that has been in trade rumors to the braves for a couple of years now. We have enough young outfilders to be honest.

Ian Kennedy:

Do I have his rookie card? 2008 rookies? Yes. USA Baseball rookies from 2004? No.

Do I have a jersey or auto? No.

His name's been bandied about but I doubt it. Any arm is a good arm at this point though.

Phil Hughes:

Do I have his rookie card? I have 2007 Hughes cards coming out of my ears. I also have his 2004 Topps Traded card.

Do I have a jersey or auto? No.

Again, I think this is more Yankee speculation than anything. If this lasts much longer we might hear Joba's name pop up.

TAMPA BAY RAYS:

I've only heard names of prospects talked about, but the Rays are supposedly in the hunt. They already have Carlos Pena, but why not strike while the iron is hot and tryo to finally win a division after so many years of dreadfulness?

VERDICT - As far as my collection goes, I'm rooting for Conor Jackson. I could plug his cards into my Braves box pretty easily and not have to worry about him being gone in a few months. Kendrick, Tracy or Hughes would also be good for my collection. As far as players go, Jackson, Loney or any starting pitcher would be the best option for the future of the club. Youkilis is a Fantasy League trade only, but oh, how I'd love that.

Now it's time to wait...

I don't have any idea what's going on

On one hand the Braves are shopping Tex all over the place.

On the other hand we're desperately trying to get Jason Bay from the Pirates, but on a third hand the Pirates ownership already kiboshed a deal. .

On yet another hand (maybe a foot) a Tex to Arizona deal is all but done, except that it isn't.

And on a kneecap or earlobe or something, Will Ohman is more sought after than Tex.

Chipper and Huddy are definitely on the DL and the Braves beat writer sees chum in the water.

I'm so confused about all these hands, feet and various other appendages, that I just need a nap.

There is no doubt about one thing though...

When it comes to heads, this is the greatest haircut ever.

UPDATE: Tim Hudson = Tommy John. It keeps getting worse and worse.

I'm too busy crying in my beer folks, Card of the Week wil be up tomorrow.

Too much stuff going on today

Xavier Nady is a Yankee.

Casey Blake is a Dodger.

The Mets are desperately looking for an outfielder.

Manny could be out of Boston soon.

The Braves don't know if they're buying or selling. (Oh please be selling)

Hell, even Frenchy might get traded.

And most improbable of all, Mike Hampton is supposedly going to pitch in a real live game for the first time since 2005 in less than an hour. I don't believe it for one second. He's going to walk out on the mound and his head is going to explode like in Scanners. Maybe right after that, we'll trade Tex for Youk. Oh how I would dance naked in the streets if we were able to trade for Youk... Let get a deal done Frank! And not for Jason Bay!

I want YOOOOOOUUUUUUUKKKKK!!!!!

(and don't trade Frenchy, I just want to get rid of Tex and Boras not have a fire sale)

I hear Phil Niekro's not doing anything

I haven't dissected or analyzed the Braves' performance this year up until now. This has been a deliberate choice on my part for two reasons. First of all, I don't believe you can tell what kind of club you have until at least the first month of the season is past and you still don't really have a handle on things until June. The onther reason is that it's very difficult to analyze bi-polar schizophrenics with multiple personalities. You need like PHDs and tweed coats and a beard and a pipe and three books published about Freud or at least an office with a couch somewhere.

The pitching staff resembles Dresden, circa 1945. John Smoltz has gone from the staff ace to the closer maybe. We hope and pray to Jesus he's now the closer. Mike Hampton needs to go away. If Hampton can't go out on the mound and pitch to just one stinking batter so he can get a 2008 stat line for posterity without having his arm fall off, both ankles break and his entire lymphatic system leap out of his body and scuttle away like a crab he needs to be put down out of mercy. The dude we sacrificed the #18 overall pick in this year's draft for (that broken down stubborn old fool up above) has exactly zero wins. The top four closers on the depth chart are on the DL, leaving the job to Manny Acosta. Jeff Bennett is probably the staff MVP just for being able to get thrown into a game at a moment's notice whenever disaster strikes.

The offense is actually not that bad. Chipper's trying to get elected to the Hall of Fame all in one year. Yunel and McCann are doing fine. Kotsay's hitting a hell of a lot better than Andruw is right now. Frenchy and Tex are slumping relative to their potential, but they're not hitting badly by any stretch. The only player getting regular at bats who's not really producing is Matt Diaz who just needs to quit swinging at everything and striking out. So the offense looks all right, until you get down to clutch hitting. How in the hell do you go 1-11 in one run games? You don't drive in runs when you really need them, that's how. This has been a common theme among Braves team the past few years, I've just never seen it quite as bad as this. When you tend to sit back and wait for the three-run homer, you're going to have a lot of games were the tying run gets stranded at third while your big guns strike out or get jammed inside and hit into a double play.

The really crazy thing about it is even with the pitching staff melting down and the offense wasting many of their good outings, the team is still playing .500 ball! They are 19-19 and only three and a half back of the first place Marlins. Let me repeat: the freakin' MARLINS whose entire payroll is less than the salary of Alex Rodriguez's accountant are in first place. That means that as bad off as the Braves are, the Mets and Phillies once again haven't taken advantage of it and run away with the division yet. So while they are certainly a mess right now, they're definitely not out of it and they have a good enough team to be in first as their Pythagorean Win-Loss record of 23-15 shows. Someone just has Greg Brady's Hawaiian tiki idol hanging in their locker or something.

While I'm not panicking yet, about half of Atlanta is, which means the trade rumors are heating up. You knew this one would pop up sooner or later though. Yep, let's bring back Maddux and reunite the Hall-bound trio for one last hurrah. And lets go out and get Steve Avery while we're at it. Charlie Liebrandt and Denny Neagle are certainly available. Closer worries? No problem! Go out and get Alejandro Pena, Mark Wohlers and John Rocker and have a closer by committee. Hell, Rocker will work for the minimum and help out as a groundskeeper to boot. The absolute stupidest thing about this trade is it actually makes sense.

The Braves are in absolute win now mode with Smoltz and Glavine getting courted by AARP, Chipper about to start declining and lets face it Teixeira is leaving at the end of the year. Liberty Media is just as likely to lower the payroll by $20 million as they are to raise it, and Tex is going to get several banks (maybe even one or two that are actually solvent!) thrown at him by the New York clubs. So the Bravos have one last run in them and their most desperate need right now is someone who can chew up innings without embarrassing himself. Meanwhile the Padres are in free fall and might want to shop some of their elderly statesman. They just chucked Jim Edmonds out on his ear, so it's a possibility at least. All rumors, especially ones as obvious as this, should be taken with very large grains of salt but it's at least something to distract from the daily grind this early in the season. I'm normally against the thought shipping off prospects for old and busted pitchers, but in this case I'll have to make an exception. My grandmother who watches every game religiously is a Maddux fanatic and would be dancing on top of the TV if this happened. That would certainly make the rest of the season interesting, that's for sure.

Update: I knew that if I whined about Tommy Traitor getting no wins in this post the Baseball Gods would give him a victory to make me look stupid. Reverse psycolology...

Out of Options, Gotta Move 'Em

Tyler Yates joins LaRoche in Pittsburgh as he ends up the odd man out in the game of bullpen out of options musical chairs. We get the Pirates' 27th ranked prospect in return which is better than nothing I suppose. The Pirates cut Byung-Hyun Kim to make room for Tyler so he's out there for anyone really really desperate for a submariner. Expect Scott Thorman or Brayan Pena (sob) or both to go insimilar moves soon.

I'd normally post a card of the departed Tyler in tribute, but does anyone really care? I know I have his card somewhere because I keep doing double takes wondering why I see a Mets rookie pitcher mixed in with my Braves cards, but I'm not sure it's worth the effort. If there's an outcry demanding a Yates card I'll do it, but not right now.

I'm not gonna leave you with nothing though, here's a 2003 Topps Chrome black refractor not-rookie card of Adam LaRoche numbered 85/199 for fans of Rochie and the 'Burgh.

Oh Dear.

In three days, the 2008 season might get a lot more difficult.




Take 'em for everything they got Johan! Don't settle for one dollar less! You're worth every penny!

I'm feeling a little sick... I think I need to have a lie down.

Blockbuster

Hot stove league hasn't cooled off yet... Scott Rolen could be traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. Rolen hates his manager (hmmm... sounds familiar) and Glaus needs a change of scenery after getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. That's a pretty huge swap of All Stars, when is the last time something like that has happened? Pretty big stuff and we haven't seen a Johan Santana trade yet.

Why this is a great time to be alive

Thanks to Google Translator, we can read baseball trade rumors from Japan in the most brilliant garbled language you can possibly imagine.

Masashi Kobayashi FA exercise the Braves win move

A total of 227 saves Lotte pitcher Masahide Kobayashi (33) is two days, at a press conference in Chiba Marine Stadium, FA (free agent) expressed its intention to exercise the right. Lotte is the future, including domestic, American baseball a view to negotiating a transfer, American officials ball, "Braves survey Moving" and several major teams have shown interest. At the time of a high salary is neck in the national team to win the negative, or residual, or a major situation. Seven years in a row 20 saves over Japan holds the record for a Japanese representative closer to the possibility of crossing the sea came.

...

Masashi Kobayashi's expressed by the American baseball official said, "Braves move in the investigation" and明KASHITA. In season from the Scouts have repeatedly inspect the background, and the relief team to win in the low positive. Mariners win in transit may have to move, several major teams have shown interest. Terms of the season will also record from the high salary of view on the market has gone down.

I'm not sure why the Braves are looking for a closer when they have Rafael Soriano. It's still really fun to be able to see these primary sources from overseas even though you have to do a little mental gymnastics to figure out what the article is talking about. Actually it's fun because you have to bend your mind to understand it.