SKEERY HALLOWEEN COMICS - PART ONE

HALLOWEEN'S ALMOST HERE AND I'M READING SPOOPY COMICS TO CELEBRATE THE DARK CARNIVAL AND I GOT THE HOT IDEA TO SCAN A FEW OF 'EM AND SHOW THEM OFF AND THEN I REMEMBERED THE LAST COMIC POST I DID THAT TOOK THREE YEARS TO WRITE BECAUSE I WENT OVERBOARD SO THIS TIME I PUT LIMITS ON MYSELF. NINE COMICS, NOT THE COUPLE DOZEN I HAD IN MY READING PILE. THREE COMICS PER POST, ONE FROM THE 70S, ONE FROM THE '90S AND ONE FROM THIS CENTURY. ONLY THREE SCANS PER COMIC - THE COVER, A FAVORITE PANEL AND A WILDCARD. HERE'S THE FIRST OF THREE POSTS, ENJOY THE SPOOKY

THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER #11 JULY 1974

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS JOHN ROMITA COVER

FRANKENSTEIN* CHAINED UP IN A DUNGEON GETTING ATTACKED BY WHAT APPEARS TO BE A MASH UP OF RASPUTIN, THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME AND ANDRE THE GIANT WIELDING FIRE (BAD!) WHILE SOME RANDOM WOMAN COWERS IN MAYBE THE WORST POSSIBLE PLACE SHE COULD POSSIBLY BE IN A STRUGGLE BETWEEN AND MONSTER AND THE MAN WHO WANTS HIS BODY

OF COURSE, THE COVER IS UTTER BULLSHIT. RASPUTIN THE GIANT (NAMED IVAN BECAUSE RUSSIAN AND ALSO A REDHEAD IN THE COMIC) ACTUALLY GETS IN A FIGHT WITH VINCENT (GREAT GRAND-NEPHEW OF VICTOR OR SOMETHING) FRANKENSTEIN BECAUSE THE MONSTER IS HIS FRIEND AND VINCE WANTS TO PUT IVAN'S BRAIN IN FRANKENSTEIN'S BODY SO THE MONSTER WOULD BE EASIER TO CONTROL. YES, THE DIPSHIT DOCTOR ACTUALLY SAYS THAT TO IVAN'S FACE. AFTER THAT ALL FUCKIN' HELL BREAKS LOOSE WITH IVAN ATTACKING VINCENT AND THE MAID BUTTING IN ON THE FIGHT AND THEN FRANKIE FIGHTING IVAN AND THEN MORE FIGHTING BETWEEN VINCE AND IVAN AND THERE'S WRESTLING AND STRANGLING AND GUNS AND SWORDS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST BATSHIT CRAZY AND IT'S INCREDIBLE. THIS COMIC HAS GIVEN ME A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE ON MARVEL HORROR COMICS. IT'S NOT GORY OR LURID LIKE EC OR DC COMICS, BUT DAMN IS IT ACTION PACKED AND WELL WRITTEN. THE LADY IN RED ON THE COVER IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, BUT VICTOR'S WIFE MAKES AN APPEARANCE AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHOCKING TWIST ENDING

not gonna do the obvious sideshow bob joke

DIE-- VINCENT FRANKENSTEIN! DIE!!!

THIS IS EASILY THE STANDOUT PANEL OF THE COMIC WHAT WITH VINCENT GETTING BODY SLAMMED BY IVAN THE GIANT RIGHT ONTO FRANKENSTEIN'S BALLS WITH BEAKERS AND SHIT FLYING EVERYWHERE WHILE THE POOR MONSTER'S JUST STRAPPED DOWN ON THE TABLE MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS. NO WONDER FRANKIE WAS SO GRUMPY WHEN HE WOKE UP, NO ONE NEEDS A MAD SCIENTIST FLUNG RIGHT IN THE JUNK. THE CRASH! IS NOT LONELY IN THIS COMIC, THERE'S TONS OF OOFS AND AAAARGGGHHS AND WHUMPS AND BLAMS EVERYWHERE. THIS COMIC IS AMAZING AND I'M GOING TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MORE OF THEM

THERE'S ALSO A BACKUP STORY THAT WAS RECYCLED FROM A PREVIOUS COMIC CALLED THE MAD SCIENTIST! THAT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE BUT KINDA OBVIOUS BY THE SECOND PAGE AND IT'S GOT THE HEARTWARMING MARVEL SHIT GOING ON SO IT KINDA FALLS FLAT COMPARED WITH THE FRANKENSTEIN MAYHEM. IT HAS TO DO WITH SUSPENDED ANIMATION AND TIME TRAVEL AND I THINK THE ONLY REASON IT'S IN THIS COMIC IS BECAUSE OF THE TITLE BECAUSE GOTHIC HORROR IT AIN'T. ANYWAY, HERE'S AN AD

 STRAT-O-MATIC BASEBALL! GOTTA STAY SOMEWHAT ON BRAND ON THIS BLOG AND HERE'S YOUR SPORTS CONTENT FOR THE DAY. I AM ON RECORD THAT I PREFER THE STATIS-PRO TABLETOP SPORTS GAMES FROM AVALON HILL OVER STRAT-O-MATIC BUT I HAD ALL FOUR SPORTS GAMES WHEN I WAS A KID AND PLAYED THEM ALL. MY PERSONAL STRAT-O-MATIC GAME RANKINGS:
#4 - BASKETBALL
#3 - FOOTBALL
#2 - BASEBALL
#1 - HOCKEY
I LIKE HOW COMPUTER-PROGRAMMED IS A MAJOR SELLING POINT FOR THE GAME. BACK WHEN COMPUTERS WERE STRANGE MYSTICAL CREATURES WHO DID SORCERY WITH NUMBERS FOR THE BENEFIT OF HUMANITY. NOWADAYS WE KNOW THAT COMPUTERS ARE IDIOTS WHO DO WHATEVER DUMBASS THING THE ASSHOLE CONTROLLING THEM TELLS THEM TO DO EVEN IF IT RUINS EVERYTHING FOREVER. I MISS THE PAST WHEN COMPUTERS WERE GOOD AND FUN. OPEN AND ENLARGE THIS PIC TO READ THE FANTASTIC COPY, IT'S LIKE A TWITTER ARGUMENT. THOSE EGGHEADS THINK 'PAPER SKILLS' WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS BUT IT ISN'T! IT'S LUCK! AND STRATEEGERY! I BET YOU COULD LEAD THE PADRES TO THE TITLE WITH YOUR MANAGING ACUMEN AND A SET OF LOADED DICE.  SEND IN THAT DIME FOR A CATALOG YOU KNOW YOU WANNA

SPEAKING OF TWITTER ARGUMENTS, IMAGINE THE MADNESS THAT WOULD OCCUR IF YOU SUGGESTED HANK FRICKIN' AARON SHOULD BUNT TO BREAK UP A TOM SEAVER NO-HITTER. THE ENTIRE INTERNET WOULD BURN TO THE GROUND

DINOSAURS ATTACK! # 1 OF 3 1991

YEAAAAAH DINOSAURS! Y'ALL KNOW I LOVE THIS STUFF. IN 1991 ECLIPSE COMICS DID A 'GRAPHIC NOVEL' OF THE DINOSAURS ATTACK! TOPPS TRADING CARD SET. IT'S ACTUALLY A SLEAZY COMIC AND NOT A GRAPHIC NOVEL BUT NO SENSE IN QUIBBLING. THE COMIC EXPANDS ON THE STORY IN THE ORIGINAL TRADING CARD SET WHERE SCIENTISTS SCREW UP ROYALLY WITH A TIME TRAVEL DEVICE AND ZAP A BUNCH OF HUNGRY DINOS TO THE PRESENT DAY. THE COMIC USES A LOT OF THE ORIGINAL CARD ART AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE COVER. THE COMIC ITSELF IS A BIT ODD, MOST OF THE COMIC IS DRAWN IN A TYPICAL COMIC STYLE BUT WHENEVER THE DINOSAURS SHOW UP IT CHANGES TO A PAINTED ART STYLE THAT MATCHES THE TRADING CARDS WELL AND IS WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE. THERE ARE A LOT OF REFERENCES TO THE ORIGINAL SET AS IN THIS PANEL:

HERE'S THE SCENE FROM CARD #5 - HOMEROOM HORROR WHERE A DINO BUSTS INTO A CLASSROOM AND CHOMPS ALL THE KIDDOS. THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PANEL IN THE COMIC, THAT GOES TO THIS AMAZING TWO PAGE SPREAD WHERE SOME JACKASS IS CRUISING DOWN THE STREET IN HIS HOT ROD CHUGGING A PEPSI WHEN HE ROLLS THROUGH THE TIME PORTAL THAT'S BRINGING ALL THE LIZARDS AND MELTS FROM OLD AGE. BUT THIS ONE HERE MADE ME CACKLE DUE TO THE MY LEG!! EXCLAMATION BECAUSE THE INTERNET HAS RUINED MY MIND AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF THE SPONGEBOB MEME

SADLY THERE WAS NEVER AN ISSUE TWO OR THREE OF THIS COMIC AS ECLIPSE WAS HAVING MASSIVE FINANCIAL ISSUES BY 1991. THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY TOPPS DIDN'T JUST PUBLISH THE REST OF THE STORY THEMSELVES WHEN THEY STARTED PUBLISHING COMICS IN 1993. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY WERE ALREADY PUBLISHING MARS ATTACKS AND JURASSIC PARK COMCS ALREADY? WHO KNOWS. FORTUNATELY IDW REPRINTED AND COMPLETED THE STORY IN 2013 FOR THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY

ON THE BACK COVER THERE ARE FOUR ADDITIONAL TRADING CARDS FOR THE SET. THE COMIC COVER IS PRINTED ON CARDSTOCK PERFECT FOR CUTTING OUT THE CARDS AND PUTTING THEM IN THE BINDER WITH YOUR SET. YOU DO HAVE YOUR SET IN A BINDER DON'T YOU? THE NEW CARDS FEATURE A GOOFY OUTDATED MOVIE REFERENCE, A FUN HOLIDAY THEME, A PRETTY BADASS AIRLINE ATTACK AND THE SATAN DINOSAUR MONSTER THAT CAUSED THE WHOLE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. ONE DAY I WILL FIND A SECOND COPY OF THIS BOOK AND GET OUT THE SCISSORS

CREEPY #13 AUGUST 2013

DARK HORSE COMICS CREATED THEIR OWN ANTHOLOGY SERIES IN HONOR OF WARREN COMICS' ORIGINAL CREEPY AND EERIE MAGAZINES FROM THE 60S AND 70S. I ENJOY READING THE ORIGINALS AND SNAGGED THIS ONE AT THE LOCAL COMIC SHOP PROBABLY WHILE I WAS LOOKING FOR MY LITTLE PONY COMICS AND THE DINOSAURS ATTACK REPRINT. IT'S PRETTY GOOD! I BOUGHT THIS SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE ISSUE 13 AND I ENJOY THE BLACK CAT AND BROKEN MIRRORS ON THE COVER WITH UNCLE CREEPY. THE COMIC ART IS MORE MODERN BUT THE STORIES ALL HAVE THAT CREEPY VIBE:

THE SCALES - A GENUINELY DISTURBING STORY OF A GIRL WHO IS FORCED TO HELP BABYSIT A MYSTERIOUS NEIGHBOR. BEST STORY IN THE BOOK IN MY OPINION

THE PROSPECTRE - AN IDIOT TRIES TO STEAL THE GOLD OF A GHOSTLY PROSPECTOR. EVERYTHING ENDS WELL

THE LAST STOP - A SLICE OF LIFE STORY ABOUT THE NEW YORK SUBWAY. ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU GIVE SOMETHING TO PANHANDLERS. OR NOT? THE ENDING IS PRETTY AMBIGUOUS. THIS IS LIKELY PROPAGANDA FROM THE AUTO INDUSTRY

THE SQUAW - OFFENSIVE TITLE IS OFFENSIVE. THIS IS A REPRINT FROM THE ORIGINAL MAGAZINE AND THE ART STYLE CHANGE IS A BIT JARRING. IT'S A HORRIBLE TALE BASED ON A BRAM STOKER SHORT STORY ABOUT AN ASSHOLE WHO IS MEAN TO A CAT. VINCENT PRICE DID A RADIO DRAMATIZATION FOR THE BBC AND IT'S FANTASTIC, GIVE IT A LISTEN

DEER X-ING - THIS STORY MAKES NO SENSE BUT REDNECKS WHO DRINK AND DRIVE GET WHAT THEY DESERVE SO IT'S OK WITH ME

IN ADDITION THERE ARE THREE PAGE-LONG GAG COMICS FROM PETER BAGGE WHICH ARE ALL GREAT

MY FAVORITE PANEL HAS TO BE OF THE DEATHLESS HORSIE REUNITING WITH HER PROSPECTOR FRIEND. THIS ISN'T AS BIG A SPOILER FOR THE PROSPECTRE AS YOU MIGHT THINK AS THERE IS A NASTY LITTLE TWIST AT THE END

NO ADS IN THIS COMIC SO HERE'S PETER BAGGE'S BACK COVER COMIC. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS FANTASTIC. THERE'S SOME SERIOUS ADDAMS FAMILY ENERGY AND BAGGE'S ART IS BOTH SILLY AND SINISTER. AND WHO WOULDN'T WANT A THREE HEADED CAKE?

MORE COMICS BY HALLOWEEN UNLESS I'M LAZY AND THEN YOU'LL GET THEM AT THANKSGIVING OR SOMETHING

*YES YES YES IT'S FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER NOT FRANKENSTEIN BECAUSE FRANKENSTEIN IS THE DOCTOR AND BLAH BLAH BLAH WE KNOW YOU'RE VERY SMART AND CORRECT
I'MMA CALL HIM FRANKENSTEIN