MOARER PLAYOFFS

 I DON'T FOLLOW THE NFL ANYMORE BUT EVERY OTHER PERSON IN AMERICA DOES SO I GOTTA DEAL WITH IT. THE LAST TIME I TRIED LISTENING TO A GAME I WAS BORED AS HELL AFTER 10 MINUTES. BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH CHATTER AT WORK ABOUT THE NFL SO I GOTTA KEEP UP BY OSMOSIS OR BE LEFT BEHIND. I USUALLY LISTEN TO URINATING TREE'S VIDEOS TO KEEP UP AND I NOTICED IT'S TIME FOR THE HATER'S GUDE TO THE PLAYOFFS. PLAYOFFS?!? HEY, I WROTE A POST ON THE PLAYOFFS LAST YEAR THAT Y'ALL ENJOYED, MAYBE I COULD DO ANOTHER ONE. HERE'S MY FAVORITE PLAYOFF TEAMS RANKED FROM THE VERY BESTEST TO THE YUCKY UGLY STINKY ONES, PTOOEY. WHO CARES IF I HAVEN'T PAID ATTENTION TO FOOTBALL SINCE 2018, I STILL HAVE OPINIONS, DAMMIT. BESIDES THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO SHOW OFF CRUMMY OLD FOOBALL CARDS I LIKE

STEELERS 

NOTICE HOW THE STEELERS AND FALCONS WERE BOTH SHITTY THIS YEAR BUT ONE TEAM WAS SHITTY BUT FUNCTIONAL AND MANAGED TO CLING ONTO A PLAYOFF SPOT BY THEIR FINGERNAILS WHILE THE OTHER CRASHED AND BURNED IN THE MOST HUMILIATING WAY POSSIBLE. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A GOOD HEAD COACH AND COMPETENT ORGANIZATION MAKES. THANK GOODNESS MY FAVORITE TEAM IS THE STEELERS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN. I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF CONFIDENCE THEY'LL STEAL A WIN BUT HEY, THEY MADE IT TO THE DANCE. THIS NFL SEASON HAS ALREADY BEEN SO CHAOTIC THAT ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN

BROWNS

LIONS

THIS IS A TIE FOR SECOND PLACE ON THE RANKINGS. YOU MAY BE ASKING "HOW IN THE WORLD CAN A LIFETIME STEELERS FAN POSSIBLY BE ROOTING FOR THE CLEVELAND BROWNS OF ALL TEAMS" AND THAT'S A FAIR QUESTION. BASICALLY I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR FAILURE TEAMS* AND THE BROWNS AND LIONS ARE TWO OF THE MOST FAILEY TEAMS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. ALSO: I SAW A TWEET THAT MORE OR LESS SAID THAT THE WORLD NEEDS A BROWNS V LIONS SUPERBOWL TO COUNTERACT WHATEVER BLACK MAGIC WAS UNLEASHED IN 2016 BY THE CUBS V 'DIANS WORLD SERIES AND THIS MADE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME. IT CAN'T POSSIBLE HAPPEN... UNLESS?

BILLS

BILLS WOULD DEFINITELY BE HIGHER IF NOT FOR THE DISASTER TWINS UP THERE. I WATCHED FOUR STRAIGHT HAPPEN IN REAL TIME AND IT STILL HURTS ME, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT DID TO AN ACTUAL BILLS FAN. A SUPER BOWL WOULD EXORCISE A LOT OF DEMONS AND I'M ALL FOR CLEANSING SOME NFL NIGHTMARES

EAGLES

FAMILY IN PHILLY = A SOFT SPOT FOR PHILLY TEAMS. PLUS PHILLY FANS HAVE GONE THROUGH WAY TOO MUCH SHIT THE PAST FEW YEARS. I NORMALLY PREFER NEW TEAMS GETTING A RING AND THE IGGLES WON IT ALL A FEW YEARS AGO BUT C'MON. THEY LOST THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS IN NINETY-NINE DAYS. THAT'S  UNNECCESSARY AND WRONG

RAVENS

I SHOULD PROBABLY BE MAD AT THE RAVENS FOR FUCKING OVER BROWNS FANS AND FOR THAT WHOLE RAY LEWIS THING AT THE ATLANTA SUPERBOWL AND FOR ANNOYING THE STEELERS BUT I CAN'T BE MAD AT A TEAM WITH PURPLE AND BLACK COLORS NAMED AFTER EDGAR ALLEN POE. I AM A BIT PEEVED I HAD TO USE A 90S CARD FOR THIS SPOT BUT FLEER TRADITION IS AIIGHT

CHIEFS

I DISLIKE TEAMS THAT RECENTLY WON THE SUPERBOWL AND THE CHIEFS JUST WON IT TWICE BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO HATE THEM TOO MUCH FOR SOME REASON. MAYBE IT'S ALL THE TAYLOR SWIFT SHENANIGANS THAT IS DRIVING MEATHEAD NFL FANS INSANE. MAYBE IT'S THIS COOL CARD OF TOOZ. I WON'T BE MAD IF THE CHIEFS GET BACK TO THE SUPER BOWL, BUT I DON'T WANT THEM TO WIN IT. TWO LOMBARDI TROPHIES IS ONE THING, BUT THREE IS OBNOXIOUS. I KNOW THEY ALREADY HAVE A THIRD, THAT ONE HAPPEND BEFORE I WAS BORN

PACKERS

THE PACKERS ARE WAY TOO FAR DOWN ON THIS LIST. I KNOW THIS AND I ACKNOWLEDGE IT. IF YOU'RE MAD YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE. IT'S JUST THAT THE LAST TWO PACKER QUARTERBACKS THAT HAVE WON THE SUPERBOWL HAVE GONE CRIMINALLY INSANE AND WE DON'T NEED JORDAN LOVE GOING OFF THE DEEP END. IF THEY DO WIN THE CHIP ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT BOY NEEDS THERAPY

49ERS

THE 49ERS SHOULD BE WAY WAY DOWN ON THE LIST AFTER THEY STOMPED THE FALCONS IN THE FACE EVERY SUNDAY IN THE 80S, EVEN THE ONES THEY WEREN'T PLAYING. BUT I LOATHE THE FALCONS SO THAT IS A GOOD THING! PLUS I LOVE JERRY RICE. THE NINERS ARE PROBABLY THE MOST LIKELY TO WIN IT ALL ANYWAY SO I'M NOT GOING LET IT BUM ME OUT IF THEY DO

RAMS

THE RAMS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BLAH TEAM TO ME. BACK IN THE OLD NFC WEST DAYS THEY DIDN'T WIN THE DIVISION EVERY YEAR LIKE THE 49ERS AND THEY WEREN'T A HATED RIVAL LIKE THE SAINTS. AND... UH, THEY WEREN'T A STINKY  DISASTER TEAM LIKE THE FALCONS. SO GLAD I DON'T LIKE THAT TEAM. THEY WERE JUST KINDA THERE AND THAT DIDN'T CHANGE WHEN THEY MOVED TO ST. LOUIS OF ALL PLACES. I LIKE MATTHEW STAFFORD BUT HE HAS A RING ALREADY, LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A CHANCE

TEXANS

I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST THE TEXANS SO I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY'RE SO LOW. MAYBE BECAUSE I'M MAD I HAVE TO USE A CARD FROM THE 00S INSTEAD OF A BEAUTIFUL OILERS CARD FROM THE 70S. JUST, MEH. IF THEY WIN THE '16 WORLD SERIES CURSE UPON HUMANITY CONTINUES SO MAYBE DON'T DO THAT

DOLPHINS

FLORIDA TEAMS IRRITATE ME AND THIS IS THE MOST FLORIDA TEAM IN EXISTENCE. ALSO TUA BEAT GEORGIA IN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. GRRRR. I'M ALSO MAD THAT I'M JUST NOW NOTICING THE CHARGERS JERSEY ON THIS CARD. I WANTED TO SHOW OFF A BEAUTIFUL 1968 TOPPS CARD AND NOW IT'S RUINED

BUCCANEERS

UUUUGGGGGHHHH I HATE THE DAMN BUCCANEERS. JANKY ASS FRANCHISE BACKING INTO THE PLAYOFFS BECAUSE THE ENTIRE DIVISION IS HOT BUTTERED ASS. THIS WAS THE WORST FRANCHISE EVER AND THEN THEY WON TWO TITLES. THEY DON'T NEED A THIRD, GO AWAY BUCS

COWBOYS

THESE GUYS WON WAY TOO MANY RINGS IN THE 70S AND 90S, TWO OF THE DECADES THAT INFLUENCED ME THE MOST. I HAD AMERICA'S TEAM SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT A LITTLE TOO MUCH. AMERICA'S TEAM IS THE BRAVES, DAMMIT! OF COURSE, THEY HAVEN'T DONE NOTHIN' IN ALMOST THIRTY YEARS SO PERHAPS THEY DESERVE TO BE UP THE LIST A LITTLE MORE BUT NAH. IF YOU'RE A COWBOYS FAN WHO IS SUPER MAD AT ME RIGHT NOW, JUST CHECK OUT THE BOTTOM TWO TEAMS ON MY BASEBALL PLAYOFF PICKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.  

SUPER BOWL LVIII FINAL SCORE:

DOLPHINS 27 - COWBOYS 13

*EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE. HOCK, PTUI. GO STEELERS