I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Apparently Michael Eisner is a small, fluffy animal

Because I want to torturously massacre them!*

(I was going to embed a Happy Tree Friends video here but seriously they are disgusting. blugh)

Ok, so the Chipper Ruth card was based on an actual picture of Babe Ruth (and a rather famous one at that). It still doesn't look like Ruth. The eyes are wrong, the mouth is really wrong but the nose is actually a lot closer than I thought. I'm used to the older Ruth's Roman nose where it started roamin' all over his face. The younger Ruth nose is more in line with the original photo. Now, I don't want to bust on the artist, I wish I could paint like that. Art doesn't have to be perfect (hell, I said as much in my original rant) but in portrait painting the painting of your subject really needs to be recognizable as that person. That portrait is not instantly recognizable as Ruth. If Ruth was in a Yankees uni, yeah, that would be a decent portrait of Ruth. But in a 2009 Braves alternate home jersey it's just too confusing because that face does not instantly scream "Ruth". Babe Ruth is the most recognizable ballplayer on the planet, people KNOW what Babe Ruth looks like. Good idea, poor execution.

The vast majority of first reactions to this card is that it's Chipper Jones and not Ruth. I tried to explain in my post why we are reacting that way because the author seemed to be honestly surprised at this obvious reaction. I also explained very succinctly why the reaction is so negative, mainly because we're all tired of Topps jerking us around with nonsense. After all the gimmicks of the past few years, when we see what appears to be a Chipper Jones card with Babe Ruth's name on it warning bells start ringing, alerting SHENANIGANS. And why not? Since 2006 Topps has given us a steady diet of ridiculous chase cards that are designed to promote sales of the product but only serve to devalue the base product. And judging from all the deeply discounted boxes of gimmicked up Topps product out there, it hasn't even boosted the sales. Oh well.

That's enough Chicle for me (well, except for maybe the contest!) right now. I made my point. If you couldn't find the point in that long rambling torturous mess of a post, here it is:
  1. Don't freak out about National Chicle
  2. If all the base cards look like that Jackie Robinson it will be kickass
  3. Some of the subset cards are goofy and/or ugly but they could be fun
  4. You wanted an art set after Upper Deck killed Masterpieces well here ya go
  5. I don't care what they say that is Chipper Jones not Babe Ruth
And remember kids:

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a penguin

Two and two always makes five

Chipper Jones is Babe Ruth


*metaphorically, of course.**
** I don't really have bad feelings against Eisner, he's just the main face to a company that has been constantly infuriating me the past few years and I am merely burning him in effigy in a literary fashion so to speak in order to vent my frustrations and experience the catharsis of such an act.***
*** Oh who am I kidding, this is all admissible in court and I'm utterly screwed aren't I?


Olds said...

"Do you hear me Lebowski? The bums will always lose!"


On a different note, I didn't drink any Haterade today. Neither did the artist whose work you were trashing.


But it's ok. We're apparently both nice guys.

dayf said...

Yep, You're the professional and I'm the bum and I will always lose.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some haterade to drink, some puppies to kick and some artists to spit on.

Motherscratcher said...

Hey Olds

Do you tink vee are joking und making vit dee funny schtuff?

Olds said...

You quote Lebowksi and I quote Lebowski.

Somehow that makes me the enemy.

Something tells me (regardless of Lebowski) I always will be...

Motherscratcher said...

OK, I'll quote The Dirty Dozen instead.

(channeling my best Lee Marvin)

"I owe you an apology [Chris], I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped [fellow]. But you're really...quite emotional, aren't you?"

Olds said...

To Dayf: "Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man."

To Motherscratcher: "He's fragile. Very fragile."

Anonymous said...

A Young Babe Ruth does facially look like Chipper Jones