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Friday, February 18, 2011

Top 20 Intermission - YO MOMMA

The next installment of the Card Show Top 20 is going to be image-heavy. Expect a long intermission. Don't like it? YO MOMMA don't like it. She don't like these cards either. That's why she threw out the originals. I got all these out of a quarter box. Quarter boxes are great for finding recent Topps inserts. Wait a few years and you'll find them in the dime boxes. Or maybe the trash. Dangit mom!

Ok, this one wasn't thrown away. Topps just made it up last year. So, forget the fact that Pee Wee is on a 2003 Topps design. Try to look past that. Focus instead on the photo. That photo looks fantastic on first glance. The leaping throw by Pee Wee! Jackie backing up the play! Wow, what a photo! Wait, what the hell is George Shuba doing??? I'm guessing that's #8 lying on the ground. What the hell is he doing down there? Sliding into short? Getting a tan? About to get a kick in the face from Pee Wee?

REGGIE. REGGIE. REGGIE. I don't know what it is with me and Reggie. Hit three home runs in a World Series game and some dumb kid gets obsessed with him forever. I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE FRIGGIN YANKEES.

Ok, this crap drives me crazy. I know, orange and black are the Orioles' colors. Everyone knows that. Anyone who collects 1963 Topps also knows that THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE SINGLE CARD IN THE SET WITH A BLACK BORDER ON THE BOTTOM. Blue, Red, Green, Yellow. THAT'S IT. The font on the name is all jacked up too. It's Eddie though so we'll let it slide this time.

Ok, here are the actual ones that Yo Momma may have had a change to send to the dump to rot for eternity. Your precious cards, in the landfill, mixing with all the other decaying filth, turning to toxic compost not even useful for growing things in.

AAAAAAH ANOTHER REGGIE. This one has the original back too! I don't actually collect those BUT THEY ARE RARE OMG. They are one in a box instead of 6 in a box. I should throw this out just so my kid can bitch at me for destroying his financial independence and well being 30 years from now.

This '83 Wade Boggs rookie is one of the few cards my mom actually had the opportunity to throw out. This card was obtained before I became a card obsessed unstable teenager. She didn't throw any of 'em out though, and now today I am completely addicted to these worthless bits of cardboard ephemera. Thanks, ma! While she didn't throw it out, she did allow me to trade one of mby Boggs doubles to a card shop for a bunch of '87 Fleer rack packs. In one of them was a Barry Bonds rookie. That's some real tough love from ma there. Gotta learn not to trade vintage for wax, kids!

Robin Roberts in an Astros uni?? Hell, I might throw this one out myself.

Finally the Big Kahuna, a 1954 Topps Tommy Lasorda rookie reprint. Note the fact that the top has a white border completely unlike every other real '54 Topps cards in existence. Why does Topps do this? WHY TOPPS WHYYYYYY. My OCD is flaring up big time.  I might have to take a pair of scissors to this one.


Captain Canuck said...

I can imagine the phone call from the printer....

you have five 132 card sheets sent to me.. with 669 of those cards with a white border, and you want one of those cards, just one, with no border, full bleed.


Cooldude said...

"I should throw this out just so my kid can bitch at me for destroying his financial independence and well being 30 years from now."

- LOL! Keep it in a safe, man. It can be converted into a trust fund later on. Haha!

moremonkeys138 said...

The Lasorda really bothered me too when I first pulled it. Now I just try not to look at it.