I was going to simply ignore our Great National Holiday this year as I do not care for either team involved and I'm on a bit of an anti-commercialism kick right now. However, yesterday I stumbled across the book up above and I got an idea for a post. A post about poopin'.
Don't give me that look. You do it, I do it, Presidents do it, ponies do it, every member of the Giants and Patriots do it, I'm pretty sure Snoopy even did it once or twice. When I do it, I like to have a little reading material. No novels, I can't read War & Peace on the can. Magazines are no good, not even those kind of magazines. I can handle a bathroom trivia book occasionally, but I get bored with pretty quickly. Nope, I like to read cartoons on the can. Even when I'm eyeballing a Playboy on the crapper I inevitably end up reading the cartoons.
The current pile of 'toons I've had in my personal conference room recently is as follows: The Complete New Yorker cartoons (which is really too damn big to be reading on the john), a Far Side compilation, Hark, A Vagrant!, an old RAW with a bunch of artsy fartsy 'toons and a book on international comics that has too many words and not enough pictures. Didn't know I had a library in my bathroom, did ya? You could have lived a hundred perfectly happy and contented lives without knowing my bathroom habits, couldn't ya? Well, here is my problem: I've read all them already. What can I say, I have a healthy digestive system. Yesterday I decided I wanted something new and grabbed that Snoopy paperback off the bookshelf so I had something new to peruse while doing God's business. I found a surprise inside the book:
I have no idea why there were 1983 Topps Football cards of Ron Jaworski and Joe Theismann inside an old Snoopy paperback from the '60s. I would say there's pretty good chance that I used them as bookmarks for some reason to mark a couple of comics. Whether I did that recently or when I was a kid, well, who knows. It was a pleasant surprise, even though I don't much care for the players. I got a reminder about how much I like the '83 Topps football set. The backs are as good as the front!
That may be the best back design Topps ever did in a football set. To celebrate the first happy feelings I've had toward football in a couple months and today's Orgy of Capitalism, I'm going to share the wealth and hold a little contest.
To enter, post a comment with:
Points scored by the winning team
Person who picked the winning team and was closest to their score gets these two cards and a bunch of other football stuff I want out of my house (seriously, just football).
You can enter up until I get off work tonight, which will probably be before Halftime, I hope.
IF somehow there is a tie, you will have to fight to
the deaththe pain.
Keep it simple, stupid!
SECOND CHANCE CONTEST!
Include in your post the phrase:
"I'll make you a pony"
And I'll do a random drawing for another package of football crap I want out of my house. You can put your name into the hat for this one any time tonight.
THE CATCH: if you win you must be willing to make me one (1) Art, featuring one (1) Pony.
Doesn't have to be a drawing, doesn't have to be a My Little. Just create any art that vaguely resembles anything horse-like and be willing to send it to me in exchange for Feetsbowl cards.
If you're not willing to do this, don't include that phrase, because I will hunt you down like that kid in Bettter off Dead.
There was actually a football cartoon in the book too! I'm still trying to figure out how to post it though. I'd have to break the spine to scan the thing and I don't want to completely wreck the book just for one scan. I took a picture of it but it's not readable. I'll try to post it later if I can figure out what to do.
If you want some Football cards, get a commentin'...
If you can read this, the contest is closed. You may offer me ponies or mock said ponies for as long as you like.
carlsonjok - 42
Captain Canuck - 38
Greg Zakwin - 35
Spiegel83 - 28
Jason - 26
Jeremy - 21
Slangon - 35
Eric L - 31
Kazi - also 31? I guess he wants to fight Eric
The Diamond King - 30
Anonymous - 26
I have not watched one second of the game so far. Gotta hunt down some food first.
Ok, so I turn on the game to check the score and see... Madonna. I must be really old because I actually liked the halftime show. When LMFAO popped up and did their entire discography in 12 seconds I L'dMFAO.
Things look good for Jeremy and Anon right now. There's still a half to go though.
I finally started paying attention to commercials. The Fiat commercial made me feel funny in my tummy. Aren't those things made by Chrysler now?
Oh yeah, Deion Sanders has a unicorn at his Century 21 open house. Awwwwww yeaaaaaaah! Prime Time is best pony.
Oh yeah, check this out:
These are the ads that popped up in my e-mail when I was looking at the comments for this post. Nordic ponies, irritable bowels and recycled cardboard. That's practically this blog's mission statement.
Manningham caught his, the Patriots dropped all theirs. The friggin' "in the playoffs by the skin of their teeth" Giants won another one. Blecch.
Giants 21 - Patriots 17
I'll e-mail Mr. Anon this evening, and if I can get my act together might even do the randomization for the Pony Artistes too. Bye Bye Football. See you in six months. When do pitchers and catchers report again?