ON THE TENTH DAY OF CARDMAS

BASKETBALL IS MY FAVORITE SPORT

I LIKE THEY WAY THEY DRIBBLE UP AND DOWN THE COURT

I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH 90S HOOPS CARDS ALL YEAR AND I FOUND AN UNOPENED PACK OF UPPER DECK AMONGST ALL MY TRASH SO LET'S OPEN IT UP TOGETHER THIS JOYFUL SEASON SHALL WE

1994-95 UPPER DECK BASKETBALL SERIES TWO

HELL YEAH SERIES TWO - I'M ALWAYS MISSING SERIES TWO CARDS IN ALL MY SETS BECAUSE I GET BORED EASILY. NOTE THE EARLY USAGE OF VALUE ADDED ON THE PACK.

RON HOWARD VOICE: NO VALUE WAS ADDED

THE ODDS: 8 BASE CARDS FROM NUMBERS 181-360. TWO SPECIAL EDITION CARDS NO ONE WANTS UNLESS IT'S MJ. MAAAAAYBE SHAQ. ROOKIE STANDOUTS, PREDICTORS, SHAWN KEMP SLAM DUNK STARS INSERTS 1:30. GOLD CARDS 1:35. THAT'S IT. NO RELICS, AUTOS, MANUPATCHES, CUT AUTOS, DNA SAMPLES, ZAPRUDER FILM NEGATIVES, THREADS FROM THE SHROUD OF TURIN OR TOTAL CONSCIOUSNESS ON YOUR DEATHBED REDEMPTION CARDS.

DO YA SEE NOW WHY I'M KINDA OBSESSED WITH THE 90S

CAAAAAAARDS!

OF COURSE THE ROOKIE SEASON JASON KIDD CARD WITH A JORDAN CAMEO COMES OUT OF THE PACK WITH A MANGLED CORNER. I AIN'T EVEN MAD, I ALREADY HAVE THE CARD AND HIS ROOKIE CARD IS IN SERIES ONE ANYWAY

WHICH I DON'T HAVE, FUCKITALL

JOE KLEINE, A PERFECTLY CROMULENT BACKUP CENTER WHO MANAGED 15 YEARS IN THE LEAGUE. SITTING ON THE BENCH WATCHING ROBERT PARISH IS A PRETTY SWEET GIG.

GOT IT

NOTE THIS SET USES THE SAME DESIGN SEEN ON THE 1994 FOOTBALL AND HOCKEY SETS. THE 1994 BASEBALL DESIGN WITH THE SQUINCHED PHOTO ON THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER WAS ALREADY USED IN THE 1993-94 SPECIAL EDITION SET. 93-95 UPPER DECK BASKETBALL IS CONFUSING AS HELL

CARLOS ROGERS ACTUAL ROOKIE CARD. CARLOS HAD AN OK CAREER BUT HE'S NO JOE KLEINE

NEED IT

MICHAEL CAGE IS AWESOME. WINDEXMAN CLEANING THEM BOARDS. THESE CLEVELAND UNIFORMS ARE NOT AWESOME. YE GODS. I REGRET NOT SCANNING THE BACK NOW, CAGE IS TAKING A REBOUND AWAY FROM A HAPLESS ERIC MONTROSS AND IT'S GLORIOUS EVEN IN THIS HIDEOUS UNIFORM

GOT IT

VIN BAKER WAS A HELLUVA PLAYER FOR THE BUCKS. GOOD ENOUGH TO GET TRADED FOR SHAWN KEMP. SEATTLE BAKER AND CLEVELAND KEMP STILL LOOK WEIRD TO ME.

GOT IT

MAILMAN

ALREADY GOT IT BUT WHO CARES MAILMAN

SO MANY KICKASS POWER FORWARDS IN THIS PACK I'M LOVING IT. BUCK WAS TRADED FOR A DRAFT PICK THAT LATER BECAME MOOKIE BLAYLOCK. MIND BLOWN

NEED IT

THE POWER FORWARD STREAK CONTINUES. ANOTHER GUY INVOLVED IN A SHAWN KEMP TRADE ODDLY ENOUGH. SPOON WAS IN THE SHAQ DRAFT SO IF YOU RIPPED A BUNCH OF PACKS THAT YEAR CHASING THAT SHAQ-FU MORE OFTEN THAN NOT YOU GOT THIS GUY INSTEAD

GOT IT

OH BOY, HERE COME THE INSERTS

POWER FORWARD HOT PACK

ANOTHER ROOKIE YEAR CARD BUT NOT A ROOKIE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS SET, IT LOOKS KINDA LIKE THE 93-94 SPECIAL EDITION SET ONLY ON FOIL. THE SQUISHED PHOTO IN THE CORNER SHOWS THE GUY *NEXT* TO THE FEATURED PLAYER ON THE CARD FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON. WHY DO THESE EXIST

RONY SEIKALY WARRIORS SEEMS BIZARRE TO ME. MIAMI HEAT FOREVER. APPARENTLY HE HAD ONE GOOD YEAR FOR ORLANDO AS WELL? MY MIND IS PERMANENTLY STUCK IN LATE 80S-EARLY 90S NBA LAND. I SHOULD ONLY OPEN 1991 HOOPS FROM NOW ON. WAIT, I CAN'T. EVERYONE'S CHASING MARK JACKSON MURDER CARDS NOW. OH LORD, TAKE ME BACK TO THE EIGHTIES



THE FORWARDS THE CENTERS AND ALL THE GUARDS

THE ONES YOU SEE ON THE BUBBLEGUM CARDS

TIL WE MEET AGAIN MY JUMPING ARISTOCRATIC OPPRESSORS