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Sunday, August 18, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #5

YEAAAAAH BACK TO THIS AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS

GONNA JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT. IF IT WEREN'T FOR A VERY SUPER CRUCIAL LIFE-ALTERING ABSOLUTELY GOTTA DO IT THING I NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS POST. I'D BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES OR JUST MINDLESSLY SCROLLING THRU TWITTER OR SOMETHING USELESS. BUT THAT PARTICULAR DAMOCLEAN SWORD IS DANGLING ABOVE MY NOGGIN AT THE MOMENT SO I NEED TO DO SOMETHING SLIGHTLY LESS NONESSENTIAL TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE GNAWING ANXIETY OF THE UNDONE TASK. I'VE ALREADY WASHED ALL THE DISHES SO CREATING AN ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE TWELVE PEOPLE WHO STILL READ THIS THING WILL HAVE TO DO. WAIT! I HAVEN'T TAKEN OUT THE TRASH YET. HOLD ON A SEC


DANG THAT DIDN'T TAKE AS LONG AS I HOPED. GUESS I GOTTA WRITE. WHAT DO I DO AGAIN? OH YEAH THE CARD NAME IN BOLD

1982 Donruss The Dark Crystal - The Mystic Scribe

DIDJA KNOW THERE WAS A TRADING CARD SET FOR THE DARK CRYSTAL? DIDJA KNOW IT WAS MADE BY DONRUSS? DIDJA KNOW IT WAS A PIONEER IN TRADING CARD SETS WITH ROUNDED CORNERS? YOU PROBABLY DID. I'M GUESSING MOST PEOPLE READING THIS ARE MIDDLE AGED CARD NERDS WHO LOVE THE MUPPETS. I DON'T KNOW IF THESE ARE RARE OR WHAT BUT THIS IS THE ONLY CARD FROM THE SET I OWN AND IF I WOULD HAVE FOUND PACKS OR SINGLES OR EVEN A SET ANY TIME SINCE THE 80S I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT 'EM ALL UP. IT'S A NEAT LOOKING SET THOUGH WHAT WITH THE BRIGHT PURPLE BORDERS AND ROUND CORNERS. HONESTLY IF I HAD ENCOUNTERED THESE CARDS IN 1982 I'M NOT SURE HOW I WOULD HAVE REACTED TO THEM. I FREAKIN LOVED THE MOVIE (EVEN THOUGH IT FREAKED ME OUT A BIT) BUT ROUNDED CORNERS ARE FOR PLAYING CARDS NOT TRADING CARDS AND I HAVE A FEELING MY LIZARDY TWEENAGED BRAIN WOULD HAVE REJECTED THIS SET OUTRIGHT FOR NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES


THE BACK IS AS PURPLY AS THE FRONT. NOT SURE IF THIS IS A DARK CRYSTAL THING OR AN EARLY 80S THING. I REMEMBER THE MOVIE BEING MORE EARTH-TONEY. THIS CARD IS OF urAc THE urRu AND THE WEIRD CAPITALIZATION IS IMPORTANT I THINK SO I'M KEEPING IT IN. THE urRu ARE THE CHUBBY HIPPIE GOOD GUYS OF THE FILM AND ARE THE FOILS OF THE WICKED SKEKSIS. THIS GUY HERE WROTE STUFF DOWN I GUESS. THE urRu DON'T DO MUCH MORE IN THE FILM BESIDES SHOW UP SO I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS MUCH. I SUPPORT LITERACY IN GENERAL SO I APPROVE OF THIS GUY'S STYLE

BACK ON JUNE 14TH WHEN THIS POST SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN I WAS KINDA BUMMED THE NETFLIX SERIES WAS SO FAR OFF. NOW DUE TO THE POWER OF PROCRASTINATION IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY. I'M SOMEWHAT WORRIED ABOUT CGI, BUT IT APPEARS THERE'S PLENTY OF PUPPETS RUNNING AROUND IF THE TRAILERS AREN'T LYING SO IT SHOULD BE GOOD. ALSO A LITTLE SCARED THAT SINCE IT'S A PREQUEL (I THINK) IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER ROGUE ONE WHERE HE GET TO ROOT FOR A BUNCH OF LIKABLE CHARACTERS ONLY TO SEE THEM GET THEIR SHIT REKT BECAUSE PLOT. HOWEVER, IT'S GOT AUGHRA IN IT SO IT HAS TO BE GOOD. SCRAP THE ENTIRE SERIES AND JUST MAKE THE AUGHRA SHOW. I NEED AN AUGHRA CARD. I NEED AN AUGHRA SET

AT ANY RATE THE DARK CRYSTAL WAS A PERFECT MIX OF LORD OF THE RINGS FANTASY SCHLOCK AND CREEPY A-LITTLE-TOO-REALISTIC MUPPETS AND IT WARPED MY LITTLE LIZARD BRAIN AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME. IT SPARKED MY OBSESSION WITH ANDROGYNOUS ELFY CREATURES LIKE DAVID BOWIE. IT CAUSED EXISTENTIAL ANGST AS I GRAPPLED WITH ONE OF THE MYSTIC HIPPIES POOFING OUT OF EXISTENCE JUST BECAUSE A SKEKSIS MANAGED TO GET HIMSELF KILLED. THE SKEKSIS REINFORCED THE LESSON LEARNED WITH DARTH VADER THAT THE BAD GUYS COULD BE WAY MORE INTERESTING THAN THE GOOD GUYS. AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE REFUGEE FROM FRAGGLE ROCK GETS HIS SOUL SUCKED OUT THROUGH HIS EYEBALLS WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE DARK CRYSTAL STILL FUCKS ME UP. THE DARK CRYSTAL IS COOL AS HELL AND I'M PISSED THAT IT TOOK 37 YEARS TO GET MORE OF IT

3 comments:

Fuji said...

Pretty sure I watched this back when I was a kid. Probably should track it down and watch it again. I'd recognize those round corners anywhere. I've definitely come across this set a few times over the years.

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