Scanners

NO NOT CRONENBERG, THE COMPUTERY THING WHAT STEALS IMAGES FROM REALITY AND IS OFTEN PACKAGED WITH A GARBAGE INK GUZZLING PRINTER. I TOLD YOU I'D FIX MY SCANNER AND I DID. I FIXED IT WHEN MY FAMILY GOT A NEW PRINTER AND I TOOK THE OLD ONE THAT WON'T PRINT AND WILL SCAN. I HAVE A WORKING SCANNER NOW, IT COUNTS AS A WIN FOR ME. LET ME HAVE THIS

NOT GONNA LIE, HAVING THE SCANNER THAT DONE SCANNERIZED THE VERY FIRST IMAGE ON THIS BLOG 800 YEARS AGO DROP DEAD* WAS A BLOW TO ME AND I NEEDED SOME MOURNING TIME. WASN'T LAZY AT ALL, IT WAS GRIEVING FOR A HUNK OF PLASTIC AND CIRCUIT BOARDS. THE NEW ONE IS OK AND WHILE THE SCANNING SOFTWARE ISN'T AS ROBUST IT'S SO FAST IT MAKES UP FOR IT. ONCE THE PRINTER SOFTWARE FINALLY INSTALLED AFTER BEGGING FOR INTERNET ACCESS AND AS MUCH DEMOGRAPHIC DATA IT COULD LEGALLY ASK FOR, I GRABBED SOME CARDS TO TEST THE THING OUT. HONESTLY I HAVEN'T GOT MANY NEW CARDS THIS YEAR AND THE JUNK PILED ON MY DESK WAS SLIM PICKINGS. BUT! I FILLED UP THE SCANNER BED AND NOW YOU SHALL SEE SOME TRULY RANDOM-ASSED JUNK. DESPITE HAVING A FOLDER OF OVER 100 IMAGES OF ACTUALLY COOL CARDS I COULD'VE EASILY POSTED AT ANY TIME

 WAS CLEANING UP THE BASEMENT TODAY AND FOUND THIS HORRIFICALLY ABUSED WELL LOVED POKEMON CARD OF TEAM MAGMA'S GREAT BALL. GREAT BALLS OF FIRE AMIRITE. NOTHING? OK. MAGMA'S LOGO IS PRETTY DOPE AND I'M SURPRISED/RELIEVED THIS CARD ISN'T A RARE. I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH GAME IS THE TEAM MAGMA ONE, EMERALD MAYBE? AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH POKEMON SET THIS IS FROM. MY GOD, THERE'S LIKE A HUNDRED DIFFERENT POKEMON SETS EASILY. AT LEAST. I FEEL BAD FOR ANYONE COLLECTING THEM, IT'S EVEN MORE OFF THE RAILS THAN OUR RIDICULOUS HOBBY. ANYWAY, TEAM AQUA 4 LYFE. FLOOD THE EARTH, DROWN EVERYONE, SHELLY'S THE BEST

SCRATCH THAT, FLEER LOGO STICKERS ARE THE BEST. AND THE CLASSIC HAWKS PAC-MAN LOGO IS THE BESTERIST. WITH BONUS JERRY WEST STICKER! DON'T KNOW WHAT SET THIS IS FROM, THE BACK IS BLANK AND I'M TOO LAZY TO SEARCH THE fLEER sTICKER pROJECT RIGHT NOW. I JUST WANNA STARE AT THAT BEAUTIFUL LOGO



OK THAT'S ENOUGH

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THIS CARD CAME FROM, IT JUST POPPED UP IN A PILE OF JUNK. WILLEM DAFOE IS AWESOME AND WILLEM DAFOE TRADING CARDS ARE AWESOME. I DEMAND TRADING CARD SETS FOR WILD AT HEART, SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE AND THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL SO I CAN HAVE MORE WILLEM DAFOE CARDS. TRADING CARD SETS FOR ALL WILLEM DAFOE MOVIES NOW!!!

MAYBE NOT ANTICHRIST

 KELLOGG'S!!!!! I HAVE AT LEAST THREE OF THESE THAT I KNOW OF AND PROBABLY MORE BECAUSE WHEN I SEE 3D POPS IN A CHEAPO BOX I BUY 3D POPS. THIS CARD WASN'T IN A BOX OF POPS, IT WAS IN CORN FLAKES. I LIKE HOW THE SCAN CAUGHT THE GHOST OF THE SECOND IMAGE AND A HINT OF THE OUTFIELD/FIRST BASE POSITION DESIGNATION. I WANT A BOWL OF CEREAL NOW, DAMN YOU UBIQUITOUS ADVERTISING

THIS WAS ON THE FLOOR. IT'S FROM A GO FISH GAME FROM COBB EMC. I'M GUESSING MY KIDS GOT IT FREE FROM SOME FUN FAIR AND IMMEDIATELY PLAYED A SPIRITED GAME OF 52 CARD PICKUP. THE ARTWORK FASCINATES ME. IT SEEMS A LITTLE TOO DETAILED FOR AN ACTUAL KID'S DRAWING BUT ALSO DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SOMETHING A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST WOULD MAKE WHEN TASKED WITH 'MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A KID DREW IT'. COBB EMC SHOULD HAVE CREDITED THE ARTISTS LIKE THEY DO ON MAGIC:THE GATHERING CARDS. IF A KID DID DRAW THIS I WANT TO SAY WHEREVER YOU ARE, THIS IS WEIRDLY GOOD AND KEEP DRAWING EVERY DAY TO BUILD YOUR SKILLS. AND I HOPE YOU GOT PAID. NEVER WORK FOR EXPOSURE KID, YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET CREDITED HERE

BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO 

BACK ON OPENING DAY I WAS FEELING FRISKY FROM ALL THE BASEBALL JUICES AND I BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE WALGREENS JUNK PACKS HOPING TO GET ONE OF THOSE BRYCE HARPER ROOKIES LITERALLY EVERY PERSON ON TWITTER HAS PULLED OUT OF THOSE THINGS. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WAS NO HARPER, THE BOX WAS MOSTLY GARBAGE AND THE CASHIER RUNG ME UP WRONG SO I ENDED UP ACCIDENTALLY PAYING $10 FOR THE DAMN THING. BUT I GOT BOMBO SO IT WASN'T ALL BAD

THREE STOOGES GOLDEN AGE INSERT! DOES GOLDEN AGE STILL EXIST? OR HAVE THEY LEFT THAT MARKET TO UPPER DECK GOODWIN CHAMPIONS. DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YEAR THIS WAS BUT LARRY MOE AND CURLY GOT THEIR OWN CARDS AND AN INSERT SET. THESE CARDS ARE EXPENSIVE FOR NON-SPORTS NON-AUTOGRAPHS! I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM FOR LESS THAN A FEW BUCKS BUT I HAD TO SNAG THE THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS CARD BECAUSE FOOTBALL. NEVER NOTICED MOE'S UNIFORM NUMBER WAS HYDROGEN PEROXIDE BEFORE

NORMALLY I'D EMBED A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THIS EPISODE BUT FOR SOME REASON A FILM SHORT FROM 1934 IS NOT YET IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND STREAMING SERVICES WANT TO CHARGE TWO BUCKS TO WATCH IT. I'LL JUST DIG UP MY VHS COPY, Y'ALL FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN IF YOU WANT TO WATCH

BRUCE SMITH ROOKIE CARD! FROM THE BEST FOOTBALL SET OF THE 80S, HANDS DOWN. YOU CAN'T SEE IT FROM THE SCAN BUT THIS CARD IS ALL WARPED AND WOBBLY DUE TO WATER DAMAGE. SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED IS WHEN IT RAINS REALLY HARD AROUND HERE THE BASEMENT TENDS TO LEAK. BECAUSE OF THIS, I HAVE PUT EVERYTHING IN THAT ROOM UP ON SHELVES OR IN PLASTIC CONTAINERS. ONE BOX OF OLD FOOTBALL DOUBLES WAS IN ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC CONTAINERS. MY SON DUG THRU THE CONTAINER AND PLACED THIS BOX ON THE FLOOR. THEN IT RAINED. NOW I HAVE A BUNCH OF WIBBLY WOBBLY FOOTBALL DOUBLES INCLUDING TWO BRUCE SMITH ROOKIES. GOOD THING I DON'T CARE ABOUT CONDITION. SO NEXT TIME YOU SEE SOME VINTAGE CARDS WITH THE WOBBLIES, THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS

YAY! A NEW POST! I AM CONFIDENT IN ASSURING YOU I WILL BE BACK ON A REGULAR POSTING SCHEDULE NOW THAT I CAN SCAN STUFF WHENEVER THE INSPIRATION STRIKES. ALSO I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I NEED TO BE DOING SO I HAVE MORE PROCRASTINATING INCENTIVE

YELL AT ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT, I PROMISE I READ COMMENTS IF ONLY TO KILL SPAM

* 90% SURE IT'S JUST THE CABLE. I HAVE NO MONEY TO REPLACE THE CABLE WHICH I'M NOT SURE IS EVEN MADE ANYMORE SO I'LL NEVER KNOW FOR SURE, THUS THE SCANNER IS NOT TECHNICALLY DEAD

IT'S NOT DEAAAAAAD