2026 NBA PLAYOFF PREFERENCES PART 1

 ANOTHER PLAYOFF POST, HOORAY! LIKE LAST TIME, THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO POST OLD CRAPPY CARDS AND TO LET YOU KNOW I HATE YOUR ROTTEN TEAM. DON'T FEEL BAD I HATE MY TEAM TOO NOW. I'M BREAKING THIS ONE UP INTO TWO POSTS BECAUSE THE NBA HAS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF TEAMS IN THE PLAYOFFS. TECHNICALLY 8 OF THE TEAMS ARE IN THE PLAY-IN, BUT FUCK THE NBA, THAT'S A PLAYOFF. PLAYOFFS TO GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. DOUBLE PLAYOFFS! WHAT DOES IT MEEEAN. DOING IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM LAST TIME AND AM GOING IN REVERSE ORDER FROM MOST LOATHED TO MILDLY DESPISED. LET'S START WITH THE POOPIE

#20 ORLANDO MAGIC

2006-2007 Topps Dwight Howard

ORLANDO IS ONE OF MY MOST HATED TEAMS AT THE MOMENT SIMPLY BECAUSE IN THE PAST COUPLE YEARS THEY'VE BECOME A BUNCH OF DIRTY BASTARDS WHO TRY TO CRIPPLE SOMEONE EVERY TIME THEY PLAY THE HAWKS. JOCK LANDALE GOT THE BUSINESS MOST RECENTLY AND NOW HE'S MISSING THE BEGINNING OF THE KNICKS SERIES. HOW'D THE TEAM OF SHAQ AND PENNY TURN INTO THIS HORSESHIT FRANCHISE? RELOCATE THEM INTO THE SEA

#19 LOS ANGELES LAKERS

1971-72 Topps Happy Hairston

LEBRON IS THE GOAT BUT LOS ANGELES HAS ENOUGH CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR THE REST OF THE CENTURY. FUCK LA. AND LUKA, FUCK HIM TOO

#18 MIAMI HEAT

1992-93 Topps Harold Miner

ANOTHER PAIN IN THE ASS FRANCHISE IN THE HAWKS' DIVISION. THEY JUST BEAT US INSTEAD OF BEATING US UP SO THEY RANK A BIT HIGHER. THE SUPER TEAM CHIPS AND RECENT FINALS APPEARENCE STILL IRK ME THOUGH. FUCKIN FLORIDA TEAMS, BLECCH

#17 BOSTON CELICS

1975-76 Topps Henry Finkel

MY FAVORITE PLAYER GOT A RING WITH THE CELTS BUT HE'S NOT ON THE TEAM ANYMORE SO FUCK EM. NEW YORK YANKEES OF THE NBA-ASS FRANCHISE. WEREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO SUCK THIS YEAR ANYWAY? WHAT THE HELL

#16 OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

1991-92 Fleer Gary Payton Rookie Sensations

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST THIS TEAM PER SE (OTHER THAN THE SONICS GETTING SCREWED) BUT THEY WON LAST YEAR AND THE NBA JUST LOOOOOVES THEIR DYNASTIES SO FUCK THAT NOISE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE OKC WIN 4 TITLES IN A ROW. BE HAPPY WITH YOUR DOZENS OF FIRST ROUND PICKS AND LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A CHANCE

#15 TORONTO RAPTORS

2019-20 Mosaic Tracy McGrady Jam Masters

WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN THE MEH ZONE. I CAN'T EVEN WORK UP REAL HATE HERE, JUST MEDIUM LEVELS OF DISDAIN. HONESTLY COULDN'T TELL YA A SINGLE PLAYER ON THE ROSTER AND I'M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS A COUPLE ON MY FANTASY TEAM. THEY'VE HAD A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS CENTURY, THAT'S ENOUGH

#14 CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

1995-96 Fleer Dan Majerle

THE EPITOME OF MEH. MAYBE THE WORST FRANCHISE IN NBA HISTORY AND THEN LEBRON ARRIVED TO MESS THAT ALL UP. NOW THEY'RE JUST MID. WHO CARES

#13 PHOENIX SUNS

2021-22 Recon Chris Paul

ANOTHER LONG TIME SUFFERING FRANCHISE BUT AT LEAST THEY'VE HAD SOME FINALS APPEARANCES. I USUALLY LIKE LOVABLE LOSER TYPES BUT PHOENIX TEAMS IRRATIONALLY ENRAGE ME. SHOOT EM INTO THE ACTUAL SUN

#12 GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

1997-98 Flair Latrell Spreewell Hardwood Leader

THIS IS PROBABLY AL HORFORD'S LAST CHANCE AT A RING BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT THESE GUYS WINNING YET ANOTHER TITLE. GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A TURN!

#11 NEW YORK KNICKS

2008-09 Topps Danilo Gallinari 1958 parallel

YOU'D THINK THESE GUYS WOULD BE WAY LOWER BUT WHY? THEY HAVEN'T WON SHIT SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS. THE NBA RIGGED THINGS IN THEIR FAVOR AND THEY STILL DIDN'T WIN NOTHIN. THEIR FANS ARE STILL MAD AT TRAE AND HE'S NOT EVEN A HAWK ANYMORE. A BIG BUNCH OF WHATEVER

THE TOP TEN WILL GET POSTED SOMETIME THIS WEEK, HOPEFULLY NONE OF THE TEAMS ARE ALREADY ELIMIATED BY THEN. I MIGHT EVEN HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ONE OF THEM!

MAYBE THE LAST PACK OF NEW TOPPS I WILL EVER OPEN

 HOW'S THAT FOR A NICE CLICKBAIT TITLE. WE WILL HAVE TO SEE IF I FEEL THIS WAY NEXT APRIL WHEN FANATICS PREVIEWS THE 2024 DESIGN BUT RIGHT NOW I AM NOT FEELING IT. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE 2023 IS MY FAVORITE TOPPS SET SINCE 2015. BUT THE F-ERS CUT THE NUMBER OF CARDS PER HANGER FROM 67 TO 59 FOR UPDATE AND I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO BUY ONE WHEN I SAW IT AT TARGET. THEN I WAS AT WALMART (LOOKING FOR A PACK OF CHRONICLES WHICH I'M NOT EVEN SURE HAS BEEN RELEASED YET) AND THEY HAD A HANGER PACK AND IT WAS PRICED AT $13.99! LESS CARDZ, MOAR PENNIES! NOW I WAS JUST MAD. MY SON WANTED TO GO TO TARGET TO BUY A NEW LEGO SET (WHICH HONESTLY IS A WAY MORE EXPENSIVE HOBBY AND I SHOULD JUST QUIT MY BELLYACHING) SO I TAGGED ALONG AND TO CHECK THE CARD AISLE FOR CHRONICLES AGAIN. THEY HAD IT! FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL. BUT THEY ALSO HAD THIS:

AN ACTUAL DINKY PACK OF TOPPS UPDATE. ARE STORES STILL ALLOWED TO SELL THOSE? I'VE ONLY SEEN HANGERS, BLASTERS AND THE OCCASIONAL RACK PACK LATELY. I FELT CRUMMY HAVING ZERO UPDATE CARDS OF SUPPOSEDLY MY FAVORITE TOPPS DESIGN IN YEARS AND FELT IT WAS WORTH THREE BUCKS TO STAY IN THE GAME. IT COST THREE-FIFTY. UUUUH YEAH. THERE'S LIKE A HUNDRED OTHER BASEBALL CARD THINGS I CAN DO WITH THREE DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS. THE DEED IS DONE, SO LET'S CHECK OUT THE PACK TOGETHER IN ONE LAST CELEBRATION OF WAX RIPPING. MY WIN CONDITION FOR THIS PACK ARE TWO OUT OF THREE FOR THE FOLLOWING: 1) ANY BRAVES CARD 2) ANY INSERT/PARALLEL CARD 3) THE ONE-PER PACK STARS OF MLB INSERT IS OF SOMEONE GOOD. DO THEY STILL INSERT ONE OF THOSE PER PACK? LET'S CHECK THE ODDS ON THE BACK

WELP. ANOTHER THING I DON'T LIKE ABOUT NEW PACKS. I'M NOT GOING TO TOPPS DOT COM SO WE WILL FIND OUT TOGETHER. FIRST CARD!

WE'RE OFF TO A GOOD START! KOLBY ALLARD JUST GOT NON-TENDERED IN THE GREAT ANTHOPOULOS PURGE OF '23 BUT IT'S A BRAVES CARD AND I WANTED A BRAVES CARD

WANDY PERALTA PITCHED PRETTY WELL FOR THE YANKEES OUT OF THE BULLPEN THIS YEAR. I'LL NEVER BEGRUDGE A GOOD BULLPEN ARM GETTING A FLAGSHIP CARD

ANOTHER BARVE! BRADEN SHEWMAKE DIDN'T GET NON-TENDERED! THAT'S GOOD! HE GOT TRADED TO THE WHITE SOX INSTEAD! NOT SO GOOD FOR HIM, YOU COULD SAY IT'S A REAL BUMMER

JI-MAN CHOI IS UP NEXT. THIS CARD HAS SOME REAL AI IMAGE VIBES, SOMETHING JUST LOOKS OFF. IT'S PROBABLY JUST MY BRAIN GETTING EXTRA SUSPICIOUS ABOUT BAD PHOTOCHOPS AFTER SEEING THE FLOOD OF AI GARBAGE IN THE PAST YEAR. BESIDES, THEY COULD'VE JUST ENTERED IN 'PADRES' INSTEAD OF 'PIRATES' INTO THE AI SINCE CHOI GOT TRADED TO SAN DIEGO IN AUGUST

THE MORE I LOOK AT THIS CARD THE MORE IT REMINDS ME OF A 70S KELLOGG'S CARD WITH THAT CRISP PHOTO AND BLURRY BACKGROUND. THINKING ABOUT IT THAT WAY THE CARD LOOKS REALLY GOOD NOW

OSCAR COLAS DEBUT CARD. HE'S GOT A CARD IN SERIES TWO. GOTTA CRAM MORE RC LOGOS IN THE SET SOMEHOW

CHASE DE JONG. ANOTHER DECENT RELIEF PITCHER GETS A CARD, GOOD FOR YOU CHASE

UH OH WE HAVE A PIRATES HOT PACK! DREW MAGGI GOT SIX AT BATS FOR PITTSBURGH AND WAS RELEASED IN JULY. HONESTLY THAT'S NOT BAD COMPARED TO SOME HORROR STORIES ABOUT CARDS OF PLAYERS WHO WEREN'T EVEN ON THE TEAM IN 2023 ON THE CHECKLIST I HEARD FROM SOME TEAMS COLLECTORS OUT THERE

ROOKIE DEBUT OF CASEY SCHMITT. THESE ORANGE CITY UNIFORMS ARE WEIRDING ME OUT BUT I SAW A PICTURE OF THIS CARD'S ORANGE GHOST HALLOWEEN PARALLEL AND IT LOOKS KINDA GREAT

OH HEY, JARRED KELENIC IS PRETTY GOOD. AT LEAST THE MARINERS FANS I KNOW TALK ABOUT HIM A LOT. THIS IS CARD US321 SO I GUESS THEY UPPED THE SET SIZE TO 330 FROM 300 ALONG WITH THE PRICE HIKES AND THE PACK SHRINKS. OR MAYBE IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE?? I DUNNO ANYMORE

SAM BACHMAN ROOKIE CARD.  TWO THINGS: DAT BEARD AND DAT BADONKADONK. GOOD LORD, THAT'S A SEAN MURPHY CALIBER BACKSIDE

KING JESSE! OK, SCREW THE INSERT CARD, THIS PACK IS AN EPIC WIN. I DON'T KNOW IF JESSE CHAVEZ AND HIS AMAZING HATS WILL BE BACK WITH THE TEAM NEXT YEAR BUT I AM THANKFUL FOR THE TIME WE HAD WITH HIM

OH SHIT

WHAT THE HELL COLOR IS THIS, MAUVE? THE PHOTO TURNED OUT ORANGY BUT IN PERSON IT'S MORE OF A SICKLY PINK. OH WELL, PARALLEL ROOKIE CARD OF GUS VARLAND OF THE BREWERS NUMBERED TO 50. WHO IS NOW BACK WITH THE DODGERS. IT LOOKED LIKE HE PITCHED WELL OUT OF THE BULLPEN SO YAY? FOR REAL THO WHAT IS THIS COLOR. OR BETTER YET, WHY IS THIS COLOR

PLUS AN INSERT! AN 88 TOPPS CARD OF JORDAN WALKER, BLUE CHIP PROSPECT FOR THE CARDINALS WHO HAD AS LACKLUSTER A SEASON AS HIS TEAM DID. JORDAN IS FROM STONE MOUNTAIN, GA AND IS ONLY 21 YEARS OLD SO I GOTTA SAY IT'S A GOOD INSERT TO GET. LAST CARD, NOW WE GET TO FIND OUT IF STARS OF MLB OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED REALLY IS ONE PER PACK

YES! GOT ONE! ANOTHER ROOKIE, HUNTER BROWN. I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH HIM BUT HE STARTED 29 GAMES FOR THE ASTROS LAST YEAR SO THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. IT'S HARD TO FIND SOMEONE TO CHEW UP 150 INNINGS NOWADAYS

SO AFTER ALL THAT BELLYACHING I MANAGED TO PICK UP MAYBE THE BEST POSSIBLE PACK IN THE ENTIRE STORE. THREE BRAVES, TWO GOOD INSERTS AND A PARALLEL NUMBERED TO FIFTY. WELL, MY TWITTER AND BLUE SKY HANDLE ISN'T MR. GROUCHYPANTS FOR NOTHIN

allen ginter freakout woooo

I've been informed that I am supposed to be going crazy over Allen & Ginter now. I guess it comes out this week. I was told it was coming out in August, but my information apparently is not reliable. Packs have been popping up in Target supposedly but I haven't seen any.

Honestly, right now cards are about the 99th thing on the "Things I Care A Lot About" list thanks to some recent developments. Every Time I plan to buy a hobby box crazy shit seems to happen. Oh well. I spent much of the evening drinking beer and swiping pics from eBay to distract myself from my problems, so I may as well share my imagized bounty with you all. Warning: There are very, very stupid prices on eBay right now. Like 250 dollars for a code card. and 70 dollars for a card you're supposed to put in the ground. I'm not even going to link them the stupid is so powerful. Here's a preview of the stuff you're going to be seeing non stop on every single blog ever for the next month.

Base

How low can you go? Death Row... what a brother knows

Base cards is base cards you know what this be.

Stupid Base

Yeah this is an actual base card this year. Normally I'd be all over this card but thanks to The Fates trolling the hell out of me this year I'm in an extremely grouchy mood right now. Bullwinkle's 'special' cousin is not amusing me at the moment.

Minis

You know what minis look like, they're smaller versions of the original. The black borders are way different this year though.

It took me a while to process that border. That's some design right there, folks.

Squeezing out the mini base cards again this year are the mini inserts.

Animals in Peril

30 cards, ordered from least to most endangered. Or was that the Goodwin Champions insert set? Christ, Topps and Upper Deck have become Pixar vs. Dreamworks and are copying all each other's stuff. I'm guessing this is the 'easy' insert set to find. There's no odds on anything yet as far as I know. The other mini inserts are:

Fabulous Face Flocculence

Basically, beards. Unannounced so crooks are trying to get $99 a pop of them on the scamBay.

Flora of the World

How about you, Fauna? You wanna? Gimmick card with seeds embedded into the card so you can bury it and then grow a flower and then pick the flower and them press the flower and then send that into PSA so they can laugh in your face. These kind of grow cards are being put into boxes of snack crackers and some yobbo wants 69 bucks for it in an auction.

Fortunes for the Taking

Yet another unannounced insert set. Because Topps is completely incapable of telling us just what the fuck is in their 100 dollar boxes of garbage that we compulsively buy like lunatics. It looks nice. It's about stolen treasure. Whoop-de-damn-do. I'd rather have an accurate sell sheet.

Step Right Up

Circus stuff. Ok this one does amuse even the grouchiest of mes. You don't know how bad I want to MSPaint this thing.

Uninvited Guests

Ghosts are cool I guess. Well, they were until all those cheesy Ghost Hunter shows started popping up on the Discovery and History channels. The one from England with the horribly fake psychic was cringeworthy. I still can't understand why I watched every episode. Oh, yeah, I'm an easily entertained idiot. The one with the teenagers running around abandoned hospitals at night was pretty good bad good too.

Portaits of Penultimacy

This insert set features the second guy to do a lot of famous stuff. This one is cool as many of us will recognize the subjects. I had about 10 trades lined up with this guy that I never quite pulled the trigger on last year because I got too busy. If you want this card you'll be waiting for a while. The auction listing lists it for $250 because it's a "Ginter Code" and all you freeloaders can't see the back because YOU GOTTA PAY

Speaking of code cards....

They have stupid interlocking designs on the corners or something and the sellers are all "YOU NO SEE CODE WITHOUT PAY" and blocking the edges on a lot of them. Whatevs.

There's also a surprising amount of large sized inserts this year, and most of them look pretty good.

The Ascent of Man

These sumbitches look freaking FANTASTIC. This may end up being the insert set of the year.

Floating Fortresses

Yay boats. Original nineteenth century cards features lotsa boats, so I approve.

Minds that Made The Future

 NERDGASM

I may have to complete this set.

Hometown Heroes

I think these are the one a pack inserts but I'm not really sure about that. I hope they are, they fit in well with the previous one a packers, and there's 100 freaking cards in the set so it's impossible to complete otherwise.

Baseball highlight Sketches

The old standby insert from Ginter. I'm glad that the artists who hate me now because You Know Who made me the poster boy for National Chicle criticism when I was just trying to be funny about the Chipper Ruth card are still getting some commissions from Topps.

Ok, fuck all that bullshit, the SUPA MOJO is the only thing that is important about cards any more according to the extremely intelligent and cultured souls on YouTube, so let's show off the only ones I've found so far.

Cabinet Box Topper

Actually, I haven't found any of the box toppers on eBay just yet which leads me to believe that everything on there right now is Target retail stuff. So in lieu of MOJO, here's a lady in a rowboat.

Ok, dirty trick, I know. Promise MOOOOJOOOOO and give you some old broad on a moldy ass card. Here's your precious MOJO that are the only things of any value in any contemporary card set and will most likely be shoved in dollar boxes in a couple years.

Jersey

Auto

Bat

Enjoy the preview, it's probably my last post until I pick up my box of 2011 Ginter. If that experience is anything like picking up my box of 2009 Heritage you may be waiting a loooong time.

No posts today

PC with the scanner is effed up and I didn't feel like fixing it last night. Enjoy some Royksopp.

Normally I'd embed the video, but EMI is run by a bunch of dipshits who don't understand the value of free advertising.

Oh, here's a scan of a shiny card for your trouble.

National Baseball Card Day Thingy

I almost forgot about this... Tomorrow is National Baseball Card Day. Basically if you go to a hobby shop tomorrow you get a free pack of cards. Each pack will have 5 Topps cards, 5 Upper Deck cards and 2 out of 6 rookies, so you can't get a complete set. It's National Baseball Card Day instead of National Trading Card Day most likely to squeeze Donruss, Press Pass and the rest out of the promotion.

If you can call it a promotion, I haven't seen much publicized about it before this week. Noting at the cards shops, not much online. The official link on The Brill Report didn't even work 'till yesterday. Good promotion, guys. The packs will also be given out at Ballparks for Opening Day (good) and at Toys R Us (huh?). Considering these promo packs were originally meant to bring traffic to hobby stores (and were a rip off of the wildly successful Free Comic Book Day), That's a surprising move. Of course with the crappy sets they've been marketing to kids lately, maybe the hobby needs all the promotion it can get. Toys R Us is doing their part at least, this ad came in the mail yesterday:


Woo hoo! Super Star Packs. Whatever those are. Topps couldn't even be arsed to put together their own pack though. No mention of the free cards though. Did they come up with this thing at the last minute or something? I really shouldn't complain about free cards, but anyone who remembers the hobby store events and monster packs of swag that was given away a few years ago would be disappointed in this stealth holiday. It just seems that the manufacturers this year are putting about 10% effort into everything. Really, it's not that hard to put together a decent promotion and actually promote the thing. They did it just a couple of years ago. Here's the checklist for those who need more prompting to go pick a pack up after my glowing review.

Topps:
Ryan Howard
David Wright
David Ortiz
Alex Rodriguez
Vladimir Guerrero
Joey Votto (1:3)
Clay Buchholz (1:3)
Daric Barton (1:3)

Upper Deck:
Prince Fielder
Albert Pujols
Derek Jeter
Ichiro
Ken Griffey Jr
Ian Kennedy (1:3)
Luke Hochevar (1:3)
Chin Lung Hu (1:3)

I don't remember where I read it, but I saw somewhere that the promotion was discontinued a couple of years ago due to dealers putting the packs up on eBay. Heh.