2026 NBA PLAYOFF PREFERENCES PART 2

 8TH SEED GAMES ARE PLAYING WHILE I WRITE THIS SO THERE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE ONE OR TWO TEAMS ON HERE GETTING BOUNCED BEFORE I POST. I'M LESS GRUMPY TONIGHT THOUGH SO I MIGHT NOT BE AS CAUSTIC WITH THE TOP TEN. EXCEPT FOR YOUR FAVORITE TEAM, GAWD THEY SUUUUUUUCK. OK NUMBER TEN LET'S GO

#10 CHARLOTTE HORNETS

1992-93 Fleer Muggsy Bogues

ANOTHER SOUTHEAST DIVISION RIVAL. THEY'RE A PAIN IN MY ASS USUALLY BUT THEY'VE SUCKED FOR A WHILE AND THERE'S PLENTY OF OTHER MORE ANNOYING TEAMS OUT THERE. A HEARTY MEH FOR A PLAY-IN TEAM. AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT CALLED THE BOBCATS ANYMORE

#9 LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

1973-74 Topps Bob Kauffman

WHAT A TRAINWRECK. MOST CURSED FRANCHISE MAYBE IN ANY LEAGUE. CURSED BY BUFFALO, CURSED BY SAN DIEGO, CURSED BY STERLING, CURSED BY KAHWI. CURSES ALL THE WAY DOWN. AND THEY ALREADY GOT WREKT BY THE WARRIORS SO NOW IT'S DO OR DIE AND HAND A LOTTERY PICK TO THE THUNDER. WHAT AN UNGODLY MESS. I WANT LOS ANGELES TEAMS TO LOSE BUT NOT LIKE THIS

#8 PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

1996-97 Topps Jerry Stackhouse

DAMN, TRAE YOUNG REALLY DESTORYED THIS FRANCHISE, EH. I'VE ALWAYS KINDA LIKED THE SIXERS. THEY GOT DOCTOR J, MOSES MALONE, CHARLES BARKLEY, ALLEN IVERSON, LOTS OF COOL PLAYERS IN THEIR HISTORY. JOEL EMBIID IS AWESOME TOO AAAAAAND HE'S OUT FOR THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN. HOW MANY CURSES ARE ON THIS LEAGUE. DID ADAM SILVER ANNOY A WARLOCK OR SOMETHING

#7 HOUSTON ROCKETS

1994 Sports Illustrated for Kids Hakeem Olajuwon

THE FIRST TEAM ON THE LIST I DON'T HATE THAT HAS A LEGIT CHANCE AT A TITLE THIS YEAR. THEY'VE GOT A SOLID SQUAD OF GOOD YOUNG PLAYERS. AND KEVIN DURANT. IF THEY GET BOAT RACED BY THE SPURS OR THUNDER WE CAN BLAME THE DURANT CURSE. BUT IF THEY GO ALL THE WAY IT'S 100% BECAUSE OF OLD FRIEND CLINT CAPELA

#6 DETROIT PISTONS

1972-73 Topps Willie Norwood

THE CUNNINGHAMS. ANOTHER GOOD YOUNG TEAM WITH AN MVP CANDIDATE THIS TIME. THESE GUYS WERE SO BAD JUST TWO YEARS AGO IT'S NICE TO SEE THAT A FRANCHISE CAN TURN THINGS AROUND WITH SOME HARD WORK AND A DRAFT LOTTERY WIN. DETROIT DESERVES SOME NICE THINGS FOR ONCE

#5 DENVER NUGGETS

1986-87 Fleer Dan Shayes

NIKOLA JOKIC IS ADORABLE. HE'S LIKE IF ANDRE THE GIANT WAS A POINT GUARD. THEY RECENTLY WON A CHAMPIONSHIP BUT I WOULDN'T HATE IT IF THEY DID IT AGAIN. NO MORE AFTER THAT THOUGH. NO MORE FUCKIN DYNASTIES. I LIKE SEEING ABA TEAMS HAVING SUCCESS

#4 PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

1997-98 Skybox Metal Universe Kelvin Cato

THE BLAZERS ARE COOL AND THEY HAVEN'T WON A TITLE SINCE THE 70S SO HELL YEAH I'M ROOTING FOR THEM. COULDN'T TELL YA ONE PLAYER ON THE ROSTER THOUGH. CLYDE DREXLER? BILL WALTON? IS DAME LILLARD BACK? OH WAIT VIT KREICI GOT TRADED THERE FOR MAGIC BEANS. WIN ONE FOR VIT!

#3 ATLANTA HAWKS

1995-96 Fleer Metal Mookie Blaylock

I'M MAD AT THE HAWKS. THEY HAD A GREAT OFFSEASON THEN EVERYBODY GOT HURT AND THEY STUNK SO THEY TRADED HALF THE TEAM INCLUDING MY FAVORITE PLAYER AND THEN AS SOON AS I COMPLETELY CHECK OUT ON THE TEAM THEY GO ON AN INSANE TEAR AT THE END OF THE SEASON TO GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. PLAYOFFS THEY WILL IMMEDIATELY GET BOUNCED OUT OF BECAUSE THE MAGIC CRIPPLED OUR BACK UP CENTER. WHY DID I SPORTS. HAWKS HAVE A GOOD CORE BUT MY SOUL HAS DIED AND I HAVE NO FAITH THEY WILL WIN ANYTHING EVER. IF THEY FUCK AROUND AND WIN IT ALL IT WILL BE SOLELY TO SPITE ME

#2 MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

1996-97 Skybox Z-Force Kevin Garnett

ANTHONY EDWARDS IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER NOW I GUESS?? I CAN'T WATCH OR LISTEN TO ANY OF THE GAMES BUT I GET TO SEE ANT MAN THROW DOWN A DUNK ON HIGHLIGHTS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. THE WOLVES HAVE BEEN DREADFUL THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE SO IT'S FUN TO ROOT FOR AN UNDERDOG. THEY'LL NEVER GET PAST THE OKLAHOMA/SAN ANTONIO BUZZSAW BUT IT'S STILL FUN TO ROOT FOR EM

#1 SAN ANTONIO SPURS

1998-99 Topps Tim Duncan

WHAT FOR I ROOT FOR A TEAM WITH A LEGIT DYNASTY? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A HIPSTER WHO ONLY BACKS LOSERS! I'VE LOVED THE SPURS SINCE ARTIS GILMORE AND THEY REWARDED ME WITH FIVE RINGS WHILE THE HAWKS WERE AT THEIR DERPIEST. THEY MIGHT END UP GOING ON ANOTHER TEAR BUT WHO CARES, WEMBY'S A MONSTER AND I LOVE MONSTERS. 

THANKS FOR JOINING ME IN MY BASKETBALL INDUCED NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. LET THE PAIN, I MEAN THE PLAYOFFS BEGIN!!!

2026 NBA PLAYOFF PREFERENCES PART 1

 ANOTHER PLAYOFF POST, HOORAY! LIKE LAST TIME, THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO POST OLD CRAPPY CARDS AND TO LET YOU KNOW I HATE YOUR ROTTEN TEAM. DON'T FEEL BAD I HATE MY TEAM TOO NOW. I'M BREAKING THIS ONE UP INTO TWO POSTS BECAUSE THE NBA HAS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF TEAMS IN THE PLAYOFFS. TECHNICALLY 8 OF THE TEAMS ARE IN THE PLAY-IN, BUT FUCK THE NBA, THAT'S A PLAYOFF. PLAYOFFS TO GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. DOUBLE PLAYOFFS! WHAT DOES IT MEEEAN. DOING IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM LAST TIME AND AM GOING IN REVERSE ORDER FROM MOST LOATHED TO MILDLY DESPISED. LET'S START WITH THE POOPIE

#20 ORLANDO MAGIC

2006-2007 Topps Dwight Howard

ORLANDO IS ONE OF MY MOST HATED TEAMS AT THE MOMENT SIMPLY BECAUSE IN THE PAST COUPLE YEARS THEY'VE BECOME A BUNCH OF DIRTY BASTARDS WHO TRY TO CRIPPLE SOMEONE EVERY TIME THEY PLAY THE HAWKS. JOCK LANDALE GOT THE BUSINESS MOST RECENTLY AND NOW HE'S MISSING THE BEGINNING OF THE KNICKS SERIES. HOW'D THE TEAM OF SHAQ AND PENNY TURN INTO THIS HORSESHIT FRANCHISE? RELOCATE THEM INTO THE SEA

#19 LOS ANGELES LAKERS

1971-72 Topps Happy Hairston

LEBRON IS THE GOAT BUT LOS ANGELES HAS ENOUGH CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR THE REST OF THE CENTURY. FUCK LA. AND LUKA, FUCK HIM TOO

#18 MIAMI HEAT

1992-93 Topps Harold Miner

ANOTHER PAIN IN THE ASS FRANCHISE IN THE HAWKS' DIVISION. THEY JUST BEAT US INSTEAD OF BEATING US UP SO THEY RANK A BIT HIGHER. THE SUPER TEAM CHIPS AND RECENT FINALS APPEARENCE STILL IRK ME THOUGH. FUCKIN FLORIDA TEAMS, BLECCH

#17 BOSTON CELICS

1975-76 Topps Henry Finkel

MY FAVORITE PLAYER GOT A RING WITH THE CELTS BUT HE'S NOT ON THE TEAM ANYMORE SO FUCK EM. NEW YORK YANKEES OF THE NBA-ASS FRANCHISE. WEREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO SUCK THIS YEAR ANYWAY? WHAT THE HELL

#16 OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

1991-92 Fleer Gary Payton Rookie Sensations

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST THIS TEAM PER SE (OTHER THAN THE SONICS GETTING SCREWED) BUT THEY WON LAST YEAR AND THE NBA JUST LOOOOOVES THEIR DYNASTIES SO FUCK THAT NOISE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE OKC WIN 4 TITLES IN A ROW. BE HAPPY WITH YOUR DOZENS OF FIRST ROUND PICKS AND LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A CHANCE

#15 TORONTO RAPTORS

2019-20 Mosaic Tracy McGrady Jam Masters

WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN THE MEH ZONE. I CAN'T EVEN WORK UP REAL HATE HERE, JUST MEDIUM LEVELS OF DISDAIN. HONESTLY COULDN'T TELL YA A SINGLE PLAYER ON THE ROSTER AND I'M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS A COUPLE ON MY FANTASY TEAM. THEY'VE HAD A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS CENTURY, THAT'S ENOUGH

#14 CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

1995-96 Fleer Dan Majerle

THE EPITOME OF MEH. MAYBE THE WORST FRANCHISE IN NBA HISTORY AND THEN LEBRON ARRIVED TO MESS THAT ALL UP. NOW THEY'RE JUST MID. WHO CARES

#13 PHOENIX SUNS

2021-22 Recon Chris Paul

ANOTHER LONG TIME SUFFERING FRANCHISE BUT AT LEAST THEY'VE HAD SOME FINALS APPEARANCES. I USUALLY LIKE LOVABLE LOSER TYPES BUT PHOENIX TEAMS IRRATIONALLY ENRAGE ME. SHOOT EM INTO THE ACTUAL SUN

#12 GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

1997-98 Flair Latrell Spreewell Hardwood Leader

THIS IS PROBABLY AL HORFORD'S LAST CHANCE AT A RING BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT THESE GUYS WINNING YET ANOTHER TITLE. GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A TURN!

#11 NEW YORK KNICKS

2008-09 Topps Danilo Gallinari 1958 parallel

YOU'D THINK THESE GUYS WOULD BE WAY LOWER BUT WHY? THEY HAVEN'T WON SHIT SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS. THE NBA RIGGED THINGS IN THEIR FAVOR AND THEY STILL DIDN'T WIN NOTHIN. THEIR FANS ARE STILL MAD AT TRAE AND HE'S NOT EVEN A HAWK ANYMORE. A BIG BUNCH OF WHATEVER

THE TOP TEN WILL GET POSTED SOMETIME THIS WEEK, HOPEFULLY NONE OF THE TEAMS ARE ALREADY ELIMIATED BY THEN. I MIGHT EVEN HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ONE OF THEM!

2026 NFL PLAYOFF PREFERENCES

 PLAYOFF TIME AGAIN! HERE'S WHO I'M ROOTING FOR. CHANGING THINGS UP SLIGHTLY THIS TIME AND RANKING THEM BY TIERS. DOING THIS AT THE LAST SECOND SO LET'S GET ON WITH IT

MY FAVORITE TEAM TIER

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

1956 Bowman Lou Ferry

YEP, STILL ACTING LIKE THIS IS MY FAVORITE TEAM ALTHOUGH THEM SIGNING AARON ROGERS SORELY TESTED THAT. CAN YOU BLAME ME? AFTER DECADES OF THE FALCONS A COMPETENT ALTHOUGH MID FRANCHISE LOOKS SO APPEALING. I'VE DREAMED OF TOMLIN COACHING IN THE ATL FOR A WHILE NOW BUT THE WIN OVER THE RAVENS PROBABLY DERAILED ANY CHANCE OF THAT. LETS GET A RING FOR THE YINZERS AS A CONSOLATION PRIZE

LET'S GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE TIER

CHICAGO BEARS

1958 Topps Willie Galimore

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

1967 Topps Steve DeLong

BUFFALO BILLS

1960 Fleer Ray Moss

YEAH, YEAH CHICAGO WON A TITLE IN THE 80S BUT THAT WAS TEN MILLION YEARS AGO AND THEY HAVEN'T DONE CRAP SINCE WALTER RETIRED. THE CHARGERS FRANCHISE LEGITIMATELY MIGHT BE MORE CURSED THAN THE FALCONS. THERE IS NO FRANCHISE IN FOOTBALL THAT DESERVES ONE - JUST ONE - CHAMPIONSHIP MORE THAN THE BILLS. I'D BE HAPPY SEEING ANY OF THESE TEAMS IN THE SUPERB OWL

BULLDOGS ON THE ROSTER TIER

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

1951 Bowman Chuck Bednarik

ST LOUIS LOS ANGELES SAN DIEGO LAS VEGAS? RAMS

1956 Topps Paul Younger

A MAJOR THEME OF THIS LIST IS 'FUCK TEAMS WHO HAVE WON A CHAMPIONSHIP THAT AREN'T MY TEAM'. BOTH OF THESE TEAMS HAVE WON RECENTLY BUT THEY HAVE GEORGIA BULLDOGS PLAYERS ON THE ROSTER SO I'LL BE HAPPY IF THEY WIN. GO MATTHEW STAFFORD AND THE ENTIRE EAGLES DEFENSE. SHOUT OUT TO LADD MCCONKEY IN SAN DIEGO AS WELL, I'M ROOTIN FOR YA BUDDY

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS TIER

1982 Topps Manu Tuiasosopo

I PUT THE HAWKS IN THE LET'S GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE TIER AND THEN REMEMBERED THAT THEY WON IT ALL IN 2013. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? SEATTLE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO EXPERIENCE ANY HAPPINESS OR JOY. I WOULDN'T MIND THEM MAKING IT TO THE BIG DANCE BUT I'M NOT RANKING THEM HIGHER EITHER

1995 EXPANSION TEAM TIER

CAROLINA PANTHERS AND JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

1995 Topps Darian Conner and Desmond Howard

STUPID EXPANSION TEAMS RUINING MY NICE VINTAGE FOOTBALL CARD POST. A  PANTHERS - JAGUARS SUPPER BOWEL WOULD BE COMPLETELY HILARIOUS THOUGH. SUCK IT, BIG MARKETS

I RESENT THEM WINNING SUPER BOWLS IN THE 80S AND 90S TIER

GREEN BAY PACKERS

1954 Bowman Hart Hunter

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

1959 Topps Joe Perry

MY ROTTEN BRAIN ONLY REMEMBERS STUFF FROM 30-40 YEARS AGO SO AS FAR AS IT'S CONCERNED THESE TWO ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN NFL DYNASTY. NINE CHAMPIONSHIPS BETWEEN THEM! LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A CHANCE!

HOUSTON SHOULD BE THE OILERS TIER

THIS ONE REALLY IRKS ME BECAUSE 1) THEY SHOULD BE THE OILERS SO I CAN SHOW OFF A BEAUTIFUL CARD FROM THE 70S 2) BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT I HAVE TO POST A CARD FROM THIS CENTURY, YUCK PTUI AND 3) I KNOW FOR A FACT I HAVE AN OLD FLEER DALLAS TEXANS CARD SOMEWHERE AND I CANT FIND IT AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF. IF WHATEVER BILLIONAIRE THAT OWNS THEM EVER PAYS THE MONEY TO GET BACK THE OILERS LOGO THIS TEAM SHOOTS UP THE RANKINGS. PLUS. HOW FUCKING PRETENTIOUS IS A TEAM NAMED AFTER WHERE THEY'RE LOCATED. COULD YOU IMAGINE A TEAM CALLED THE SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIANS OR THE CHICAGO ILLINOISIANS OR THE NEW YORK YANKEES? DISGUSTING

JUST FUCK OFF TIER

DENVER BRONCOS

1964 Topps Billy Joe

I SHOULD LIKE THE BRONCOS. THEY'RE BASED IN A COOL CITY, THEY GOT A NICE HORSIE FOR A MASCOT, AND IT'S HOMER SIMPSON'S FAVORITE TEAM. THEN JOHN ELWAY HAD TO FUCK IT ALL UP

REALLY FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF TIER

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

1965 Topps Tom Addison

GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU'VE WON ENOUGH ALREADY. IN EVERY DAMN SPORT. JUST GO AWAY. NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYMORE, LEAVE US ALL ALONE

IF YOU'RE MAD I HATE YOUR TEAM, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY THAT YOUR TEAM SUCKS AND IS BAD AND UGLY AND STINKY. THIS POST IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO SHOW OFF MOLDY OLD FOOTBALL CARDS AND YOU'RE PROBABLY WINNING IT ALL ANYWAY. HERE'S MY PICKS FOR THE EXEMPLAR STRIGIFORMES

THE SUPER BOWL I WANT TO SEE

STEELERS DEFEAT BEARS

1962 Preston Carpenter

THE SUPER BOWL WE'LL GET BECAUSE WE LIVE IN HELL

PATRIOTS DEFEAT 49ERS

1969 Topps Jim Colclough

THE SUPER BOWL I THINK COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, THIS ENTIRE SEASON HAS BEEN PURE CHAOS. HOUSTON AND SEATTLE HAVE GREAT DEFENSES SO (FLIPS A COIN)

i'm wondering if this coin may have been biased

TEXANS DEFEAT SEAHAWKS

1972 Topps Bobby Maples

ROLLED DICE TO PICK A SUPER BOWL MATCHUP

orange die = AFC seed, purple die = NFC seed
D6 even = NFC wins odd = AFC wins

BEARS DEFEAT CHARGERS

1957 Topps Ed Brown

LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!

2025 Playoff Preferences

 9 MONTHS IS A GOOD BREAK I THINK

YOU'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE, THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE AND I FEEL COMPELLED TO RANK MY PREFERRED TEAMS FROM "ROOTING FOR EM ALL THE WAY" TO "I'D RATHER GET A ROOT CANAL". WHAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE IS ONE OF THESE POSTS WITHOUT THE BRAVES ON TOP. WITH ALL THE STRESS GOING AROUND MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING?? AT ANY RATE WE GOT SOME NEW TEAMS, LET'S GOOOO

Milwaukee Brewers

1976 Topps Darrell Porter - blue dots variation

GHOST UECKER SHALL LEAD THE BREW CREW TO THE SERIES. NEW PILOTS MAKE IT TO THE BIG DANCE. MASSIVE CELEBRATORY DRINKING IN WISCONSIN, EVEN MORE THAN USUAL. OR MORE LIKELY THE WINNER OF THE 84 NLCS REMATCH GETS HOT AND KNOCKS EM OUT RIGHT AWAY. RIGHT THIS MOMENT THERE IS STILL HOPE SO I SHALL DREAM OF NICE THINGS

Seattle Mariners

1989 Donruss Ken Griffey Jr.

I REALLY REALLY NEED BIG DUMPER IN THE WORLD SERIES. JUST THE MARINERS THERE AT ALL. GOOD LORD I NEED SOMETHING DECENT TO HAPPEN IN THIS ROTTEN WORLD. JUST ONE NICE THING THIS YEAR. PLEASE UNIVERSE, I BEG YOU. ALL THE COOL KIDS WANT THAT BREWERS - MARINERS SERIES. OF COURSE I'VE JUST CURSED BOTH FRANCHISES EVEN MORE THAN THEY WERE ALREADY CURSED, BUT THEY CAN'T GET BOUNCED IN THE WILDCARD AT LEAST

Chicago Cubs

1954 Red Heart Dee Fondy

I FREELY ADMIT THE CUBS ARE TOO HIGH ON THIS LIST. THEY'VE WON A RING IN THE  PAST DECADE AND DANSBY GETTING A SECOND CHIP WOULD MAKE ME NAUSEOUS. I'M MENTALLY STUCK IN THE 80S THOUGH AND THEY'RE STILL LOVABLE LOSERS IN MY MIND. PLUS THEIR PITCHING STAFF SINGLE HANDEDLY DRAGGED MY ASS TO A THIRD PLACE FINISH IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE SO I'M FEELING SOME GOOD VIBES TOWARD THEM RIGHT NOW. GET NICO HOERNER A RING

Cincinnati Reds

2006 Cracker Jack Ballpark Legends II Johnny Bench

I'M STUCK IN THE 80S BUT THEY WON IN 1990 SO IT DOESN'T REGISTER WITH ME. THE'VE BEEN SO CRUMMY ALL CENTURY I'M JUST HAPPY THEY'RE IN THE PLAYOFFS AT ALL. ESPECIALLY WITH WHO GOT LEFT OUT. REDS IN THE WORLD SERIES WOULD BE OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS, BUT IF THEY WIN THE THING THEY BETTER VOTE JOEY VOTTO  A WORLD SERIES SHARE

Cleveland Guardians

1987 M&M's Star Lineup Joe Carter

JOSE RAMIREZ WOULD BE SO FUN TO WATCH IN A SERIES. HONESTLY I'D BE SUPER HAPPY IF ANYONE IN THE TOP SIX WON THE PENNANT. CLEVELAND DESERVES IT JUST FOR THE NAME CHANGE. PLUS THEY HAVEN'T WON ONE IN A BILLION YEARS AND I ROOT FOR UNDERDOGS. THERE'S JUST A WHOLE LOT OF UNDERDOGS IN IT THIS YEAR

Detroit Tigers

1968 Topps Game Al Kaline

THEY TRIED TO BLOW IT BUT THEY DIDN'T. THE TIGERS GOT A GOOD TEAM WHEN THEY DON'T SUCK. IT'S A NEW SEASON NOW SO MAYBE THEY'LL GO BACK TO BEING THE FIRST HALF TIGERS. I'M NOT SUPER HAPPY MY TOP THREE AL TEAMS ARE ALL IN THE SAME BRACKET BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THERE IS GUARANTEED TO BE A TEAM I LIKE IN THE ALCS. PLAYING A HORRIBLE EVIL BASTARD TEAM THAT MAKES ME SAD

Philadelphia Phillies

1981 Topps Coca-Cola Phillies Pack with Mike Schmidt on the back

ANOTHER TEAM THAT IS WAY TOO DAMN HIGH ON THIS LIST. TREA TURNER DON'T NEED NO MORE RINGS. HOWEVER, YOU CAN DO A HELL OF A LOT WORSE THAN SEEING BRUCE HOOPER IN THE WORLD SERIES. PHILLY COULD BRING A LOT OF CHAOS TO OCTOBER AND I'M OK WITH THAT. HAIL ERIS AND THE PHILLIE PHANATIC

San Diego Padres

1991 Score Tony Gwynn All-Star

I'M NOT SURE WHY THEY'RE NOT HIGHER?? THEY'VE NEVER WON A DAMN THING, SAN DIEGO'S SPORTS CURSE MAKES CLEVELAND LOOK LIKE THE YANKEES AND THEY'VE GOT SOME FUN PLAYERS. HOW ARE THEY NOT ON THE UNDERDOG SIDE OF THE RANKINGS? MAYBE I JUST FORGOT ABOUT THEM. MAYBE I COULDN'T FIND A NEAT PADRES ODDBALL CARD IN THE BOX I RAIDED FOR PICTURES TO ADD TO THE POST. I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THEM WINNING THE PENNANT, I'M JUST COOLER WITH SOME OTHER TEAMS BEATING THEM. JUSTICE FOR YU DARVISH THOUGH

Toronto Blue Jays

1991 Starting Lineup Kelly Gruber

ANOTHER TEAM THAT SHOULD BE AT LEAST TWO SLOTS HIGHER. AN ACTUAL FUN TEAM WITH SOME GREAT PLAYERS! ANOTHER UNDERDOG FRANCHISE! THEY ACTUALLY BEAT THE FUCKIN YANKEES! ON THE OTHER HAND I'M SALTY THAT GAUSMAN DIDN'T PITCH LIKE THAT FOR THE BRAVES AND I'M NOT PLEASED WITH ONE OF THEIR WORLD SERIES APPEARANCES. I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT THEM IN THE SERIES BUT I'LL BE THE BIGGEST BLUE JAYS FAN IN THE ALDS

Los Angeles Dodgers

1966 Topps Rub-Offs John Roseboro

BIIIIG DROP OFF HERE. SHOHEI SCHMOEHEI, THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS IN A DECADE IS OBNOXIOUS. THEY CAN WIN ANOTHER ONE IN 2032, GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE. AS MY LEAST FAVORITE NL TEAM, THEY'RE A DEAD BOLT LOCK TO WIN THE PENNANT. GET THOSE WAGERS IN NOW KIDS

Boston Red Sox

1953 Bowman Tom Brewer

EVER SINCE THEY DISPELLED THE CURSE OF THE BAMBINO I'VE HAD NO USE FOR THIS FRANCHISE. HOW THE HECK DID THEY MAKE THE PLAYOFFS ANYWAY AFTER ALL THE UNNECESSARY DEVERS DRAMA. AT LEAST THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD AT BEATING THE YANKEES

New York Yankees

1956 Topps Irv Noren (altered)

YUCK THE FANKEES. BASTARD JUDGE IS GONNA STEAL RALEIGH'S MVP AND THE DAMN YANKEES WILL BULLSHIT THEIR WAY TO THE SERIES. I DON'T WANNA HEAR THE NUMBER 28 IN MY LIFETIME. BOOOO HISSSS BLECCCCCH. I CAN'T EVEN ROOT FOR MAX, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SIGN WITH THE DODGERS LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO

YOU MADE FREDDIE SAD MAX

THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST WORLD SERIES FOR A WHILE, I HOPE IT'S A GOOD ONE (but we all know it'll be the goddamn dodgers and yankees again)

Dodgers over Yanks in Seven