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Monday, January 9, 2023

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #13

LOL I WAS SO EXCITED TO POST A JACK DAVIS CARD I FORGOT CARD #13

COUNT DUCKULA! Y'ALL KNOW I AM A FAN OF VAMPIRES, AND WHY SHOULDN'T DUCKS BE ABLE TO GET IN ON THE BLOODSUCKING ACTION. COUNT DUCKULA PREMIERED IN 1988 AFTER SPINNING OFF FROM THE SERIES DANGER MOUSE. I REMEMBER IT WAS PRETTY DECENT, A SERIES ABOUT A VEGETARIAN VAMPIRE DUCK IS A NEAT CONCEPT. IT WAS NO DANGER MOUSE, BUT WHAT IS. BUT WAIT, THIS ISN'T THAT COUNT DUCKULA, THIS IS FROM A CRUMMY COMIC BOOK MOVIE

13 - 1986 TOPPS HOWARD THE DUCK - DUCK-O-VISION: COUNT DUCKULA


HEY A MARVEL MOVIE. EVERYONE LOVES MARVEL MOVIES... RIGHT? THIS ONE NOT SO MUCH, WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE IT'S A PRETTY INTERESTING MOVIE 

I DIDN'T SAY GOOD, I SAID INTERESTING

YES, IT IS A BIT LOT OF A MESS, AND THE DUCK SUIT IS KINDA GOOFY, AND THE PLOT IS BATSHIT CRAZY, AND THERE'S A LOT OF CRINGEY MOMENTS NOT LEAST OF WHICH IS A SCENE THAT EDGES UNCOMFORTABLY TOWARDS FURRY PORN, BUT! IT'S A COMIC BOOK MOVIE! WHO CARES IF IT MAKES SENSE, COMIC PLOTS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS LUDICROUS. THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC DUCK, THE SUIT IS CLUNKY BUT WORKS WELL ENOUGH. I... HAVE NO DEFENSE FOR THE FURRY STUFF. THERE ARE NEKKID DUCK BOOBIES WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES. BUT SOME PEOPLE DIG THAT VIBE, LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS. IT AIN'T A CLASSIC BUT THE CAST IS GREAT, THERE'S SOME COOL ACTION PIECES AND FUN MONSTERS, AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY NO MORE EMBARASSING AND RIDICULOUS THAN 90% OF 80'S COMEDIES. IS A DUCK GETTING SUCKED DOWN TO EARTH FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION ANY MORE ABSURD THAN WHAT GOES ON IN BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS OR EVEN GHOSTBUSTERS? AND IT'S A HELL OF A LOT LESS EMBARASSING THAN SOUL MAN. THERE'S A BUDDY COP MOVIE WITH TOM HANKS AND A DOG, STUFF WAS GOOFIER IN THE 80S

I'LL ADMIT, WHEN I WAS 14 AND THIS CAME OUT I WAS AS LIVID AS EVERYONE ELSE. GEORGE LUCAS QUIT MAKING STAR WARS MOVIES FOR THIS??? UNACCEPTABLE. THE FILM HAD A LOT GOING AGAINST IT. THE LUCAS THING. COMICS WERE STILL DORKY IN THE 80S, EVEN WHEN BATMAN BLOWED UP. HOWARD WAS NOT A SUPER WELL KNOWN CHARACTER. EVEN WITH THE TECHNICAL KNOW-HOW GEORGE BROUGHT TO THE PROJECT A LOT OF THE THINGS THEY WERE TRYING TO DO DIDN'T QUITE WORK OUT RIGHT. PEOPLE STRAIGHT UP WEREN'T READY TO SEE LEA THOMPSON TRYING TO PLUCK A DUCK

BUT EVENTUALLY I DISCOVERED THE ACTUAL HOWARD THE DUCK COMICS AND THEY WERE FANTASTIC. CLEVER, CYNICAL AND VERY FUNNY. NOW WITH A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE CHARACTER I REWATCHED THE MOVIE AND... WELL, THE FILM DIDN'T GET A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT. IT TRADED THE CLEVER FOR SILLY AND A LOT OF THE HUMOR ENDED UP BEING UNINTENTIONAL. BUT IT GOT THE CYNICAL RIGHT, THE HUMAN WORLD IS A RIDICULOUS WORLD. AND A VERY ADULT AND SCARY WORLD AT THAT. SOME OF THE CHOICES TO SHOW JUST HOW ADULT THE WORLD IS LIKE HAVING HOWARD WORK IN A SEX CLUB AND SHOWING OFF DUCK BOOBS (A-WOO-OO) FAILED PRETTY HARD, BUT WHILE THIS MOVIE IS A FAILURE IT'S A DAMNED INTERESTING FAILURE. IT'S A BAD MOVIE BUT BAD MOVIES CAN BE A HELL OF A LOT OF FUN

ISN'T HOWARD HANDSOME IN HIS LITTLE SUIT. THAT'S ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FILM AND COMIC DIFFER, COMIC HOWARD DOES NOT WEAR PANTS. THERE'S A WHOLE STORY ARC ABOUT HOW THE OPRESSIVE OVERLORDS (LITERALLY DISNEY) FORCED HOWARD TO WEAR PANTS AND HE STILL ENDED UP CHUCKING THEM BY THE END OF IT. I'M NOT SAYING THE FILMMAKERS WERE WRONG FOR THIS. WE REALLY DIDN'T NEED HOWARD HANGING FREE ON THE SILVER SCREEN

UP NEXT: THE CORRECT CARD THIS TIME

2 comments:

Jafronius said...

Danger Mouse Count Duckula was great. I totally forgot about this version...I was paying too much attention to Lea Thompson.

Fuji said...

Never saw this movie. I remember when it came out. Pretty sure my friends and I had no interest in seeing it. Or if we did... we were willing to wait until it hit the video rental place. Don't think I even knew he was a Marvel character until years later.