FINISHING UP 2023 BY FINISHING UP A SET

 HEPPY NOO YEER EVERYONE. AS HAPPY AS IT CAN GET WITH *WAVES ARMS AROUND* ALL THIS HAPPENING. MAYBE TURN OFF THE NEWS AND SOCIAL MEDIAS AND GO TO YOUR HAPPY ROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR A LOT THIS YEAR TO INCREASE THE HAPPY. GO STARE AT A COOL BASEBALL CARD UNTIL YOUR EYES GO CROSSED AND DEFOCUS AND NOW YOU HAVE TWO BASEBALL CARDS! THAT'S SOME HAPPINESS RIGHT? DO WHAT YA GOTTA DO BUDDY, WE'LL ALL GET THROUGH THIS MADNESS TOGETHER

THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT THE NEW YEAR, IT'S ABOUT THE OLD YEAR WHICH IS DEAD, DEAD DEAD! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! SUCK IT 2023! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME BUT YOU DIDN'T! AND I HAVE MORE BASEBALL CARDS NOW! TOO MANY PROBABLY, I KEEP TRIPPING ON THEM*. MAYBE I SHOULD CLEAN UP A LITTLE. BUT FIRST! HERE'S A TALE ABOUT THE LAST BASEBALL TYPE CARD I GOT IN 2023. I WON'T GET IT IN MY ACTUAL GRUBBY HANDS FOR SEVERAL MONTHS BECAUSE I'M WAITING UNTIL I HAVE MORE CARDS TO REQUEST SHIPPING. THAT'S RIGHT! I MADE A LAST MINUTE COMC PURCHASE. IT WASN'T EVEN BLACK FRIDAY!** I AM GOING TO SHOW OFF THE CARDS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY ARE MY CARDS, THEY JUST LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE RIGHT NOW AND I CAN SIMPLY GANK THE PHOTOS OFF COMC. PLUS I ALREADY HAVE THIRTY-NINE BLACK FRIDAY COMC POSTS QUEUED UP FOR THIS YEAR AND I DON'T WANT TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT NOVEMBER TO TALK ABOUT THESE

SO HOW DID MY DUMB BRAIN FINALLY FIGURE OUT I AM ALLOWED TO BUY CARDS ON COMC WHEN IT'S NOT BLACK FRIDAY? MY NEW FOCUS ON COMPLETING SETS HELPED. I WAS DOWN TO NEEDING ONE SINGLE CARD TO COMPLETE A HUGE SET FOR ME, AND A TRIP TO THE CARD SHOW CLUED ME IN TO THE FACT THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO FIND THAT CARD FOR LESS MONEY THAN I COULD GET IT ONLINE. I SIMPLY DO NOT HAVE THE TIME OR MONEY TO HIT EVERY CARD SHOP IN THE STATE AND GO TO EVERY SHOW ANYMORE TO FIND THAT ELUSIVE BARGAIN. THEN SOMEONE POSTED A LINK TO SOME CHEAP 1955 TOPPS RAILS AND SAILS CARDS ON COMC. THAT IS A VINTAGE NON-SPORT SET I HAVEN'T PICKED UP A CARD FROM YET AND IT OCCURED TO ME THAT IF I HAD SOME FUNDS I COULD PICK UP A CARD OR TWO. FINALLY I SHOWED OFF SOME CARDS FROM SETS I COMPLETED IN 2023 ON TWITTER AND I GOT A COMMENT ON HOW GOOD THE STUDIO CARDS LOOKED. IN THE CONVERSATION I MENTIONED THAT STUDIO WAS ALSO AN INSERT SET IN RECENT DONRUSS SETS AND LINKED TO COMC TO SHOW THEM OFF. THAT'S WHERE I SAW THIS CARD

2015 DONRUSS JOSE ALTUVE STUDIO PRESS PROOF INSERT

I HAVE EXPRESSED MY LOVE FOR ALTUVE ON THIS SITE MANY TIMES SO THERE'S NO NEED TO GO INTO THAT AGAIN. I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE JOSE WAS IN THE SET, I BOUGHT A TON OF DONRUSS THAT YEAR AND PULLED SEVERAL STUDIO INSERTS BUT I DID NOT RECALL GETTING AN ALTUVE. I WAS ALSO VERY SURPRISED TO SEE THAT PRESS PROOF AND SERIAL NUMBER STAMP ON THE CARD. I GOT A PRESS PROOF OUT OF A PACK (JORGE SOLER, YAY!) BACK IN THE DAY SO I RECOGNIZED THE PARALLEL RIGHT AWAY. I'VE SEEN PARALLEL CARDS GET LISTED WITH THE BASE ON COMC A FEW TIMES INCLUDING THIS AJ GRIFFIN CARD FROM MY 2022 BINGE. I GUESS PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT DONRUSS PARALLELS?? NOW IF IT WAS A RUSNEY CASTILLO OR MATT SHOEMAKER PRESS PROOF I WOULD HAVE JUST CHUCKLED AND MOVED ON BUT I ACTUALLY COLLECT ALTUVE! MAN, IT WOULD BE COOL TO GET THAT CARD

THEN MY BRAIN DID IT. "HEY STUPID, JUST BUY THE CARD, YOU HAVE THE MONEY". OH YEAH! I CAN JUST BUY THE CARD ON THE WEBSITE THAT EXISTS TO SELL TRADING CARDS! OR BETTER YET, ADD SOME MONEY TO MY ACCOUNT SO I CAN PICK UP COOL STUFF ON SALE WHEN I SEE IT POP UP! I ADDED TEN BUCKS TO THE ACCOUNT BECAUSE I'M A CHEAPSKATE AND BOUGHT THE CARD. NOW I HAVE A COOL CARD AND MONEY TO GET COOL CARDS IN THE FUTURE. THE FUTURE WAS ABOUT A COUPLE HOURS. IT WAS THE LAST DAY OF AN EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG WORK WEEK SO I STARTED CLICKING AROUND THE NON-SPORTS SECTION TO SEE IF I COULD FIND ANYTHING FUN. I FOUND A CHEAP CARD FROM THE 1970 DONRUSS ODDER ODD RODS SET AND TOOK A LOOK AT WHAT OTHERS THEY HAD FOR SALE. I MISSED OUT ON A SIMILAR CARD ON BASEBALLCARDSTORE DOT CA LAST YEAR BECAUSE SOMEONE CLICKED THE BUY CARD BUTTON FASTER THAN ME AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D FIND A GOOD ONE CHEAP. I SAW THIS AND I HAVE NEVER HIT THE BUY BUTTON FASTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

1970 DONRUSS ODDER ODD RODS MUSTANG

Y'ALL KNOW I LOVE THE HORSIES. THE FORD MUSTANG IS ALSO MY FAVORITE CARD TO THE POINT I BOUGHT THE SAME LIME ROCK MUSTANG CARD TWICE. AND I ALSO LOVE THE BIG DADDY ROTH STYLE OF ART WHERE FREAKS DRIVE FUNNY CARS. THIS CARD IS ALL THREE AND IT BLEW MY MIND. IT'S THE WEIRD NON-SPORTS CARD EQUIVALENT TO THE 1966 NL BATTING LEADERS CARD. THERE ARE FOUR DIFFERENT SERIES OF ODD RODS CARDS PLUS A COUPLE 'BEST OF' REPRINTS FROM THE EARLY 70S AND THEY'RE ALL PRETTY COOL. THE ART IS DONE BY B.K. TAYLOR WHO DID COVERS AND COMICS FOR SICK, MAD AND NATIONAL LAMPOON MAGAZINES AND CREATED OTHER TRADING CARD SETS INCLUDING 1983 DONRUSS ZERO HEROES AND 1988 LEAF BASEBALL'S GREATEST GROSSOUTS. THIS CARD IS FRIGGIN FANTASTIC AND IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO MY TOP 100 FAVORITE CARDS LIST. THE CARD IS GREAT AND NOW I HAVE A NEW NON-SPORTS SET TO OBSESS ABOUT

SO I GOT TWO GREAT CARDS AND SOME MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT TO SAVE FOR LATER. LATER WAS TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER.

SO HERE'S THIS FUCKIN' GUY. I DON'T REMEMBER MY EXACT 2023 COLLECTING GOALS BUT COMPLETING THE 1976 SET WAS AT THE TOP OF THE LIST. I NEEDED FOUR CARDS AND I GRABBED THREE OF THEM RIGHT AWAY WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT. PULLED UP THE CARD FROM MY WANTLIST, PICKED THE CHEAPEST AND MOVED TO THE NEXT ONE. I GOT TO PETE AND... DIDN'T CLICK. THERE WAS ONE FOR FOUR BUCKS AND I HAD FORTY IN CREDIT BUT... DIDN'T CLICK. THIS WASN'T A JAMAAL WILKES SITUATION FROM 2022 WHERE IT WASN'T ON SALE, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SPEND FOUR BUCKS FOR A PETE ROSE CARD NO MATTER HOW MUCH I NEEDED IT. I KEPT GOING BACK TO THE TAB AND WHEN THE FOUR DOLLAR CARD GOT BOUGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME I GAVE UP AND DECIDED TO LOOK FOR HIM AT THE CARD SHOW AND AS I SAID BEFORE, THAT WASN'T HAPPENING. SO IT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE AND I WAS BORED AND I LOOKED AGAIN AT THIS DUMB CARD. ROWS UPON ROWS OF ROSE, ALL STARING AT ME WITH THIS LOOK LIKE HE KNOWS THE FUTURE. THERE WAS A CARD ON SALE FOR $4.10. UGH. I STILL DIDN'T WANT TO BUY THIS DUMB CARD! BUT IF I DIDN'T MY 1976 SET WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE AND THAT DUMBASS WOULD KEEP STARING INTO MY SOUL EVERY TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT IT! AAARGH! BUYING CARDS SHOULD BE FUN, THIS SUCKS

I WENT ON DISCORD AND ASKED SOMEONE TO ORDER ME TO BUY THIS ROTTEN CARD SO I COULD FINISH THE SET. ANDY FROM ALLTIMEBREWERS REMINDED ME THAT HATE-BUYING CARDS JUST SO I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THEM EVER AGAIN IS A VALID STRATEGY. THIS WAS STARTING TO CONVINCE ME  WHEN THE SHLABOTNIK REPORT YELLED AT ME TO FINISH THE DAMN SET ALREADY.  I KNEW I HAD TO BUY THE DAMN CARD NOW, BUT I WAS LAMENTING THE FACT I COULD BUY FOUR OTHER COOL CARDS I FOUND FOR THE SAME PRICE. THEN I REALIZED: I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR ALL FIVE CARDS! I COULD REWARD MYSELF FOR FINISHING THE 1976 SET! SO I DID

1978 SWEDISH SAMLARSAKER AGNETHA o ANNIFRID

I DON'T KNOW WHAT A SAMLARSAKAR IS BUT GOOGLE TRANSLATES IT AS COLLECTIBLES SO I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS REALLY. ALL I KNOW IS IT'S A PRETTY BIG SET OF TRADING CARDS OF LATE 70'S ROCK, FILM AND POP STARS WITH A HEAVY DOSE OF ABBA. HERE'S WHAT A PACK OF THESE THINGS LOOK LIKE, MORE LIKE SOMETHING YOU'D FIND IN A TOY STORE THAN A TRADITIONAL PACK OF CARDS. I RANDOMLY FOUND THEM LOOKING FOR BEATLES CARDS I THINK AND WAS IMPRESSED BY SIZE OF THE SET AND THE VARIETY OF CELEBRITIES. ELVIS, DOLLY PARTON, THE ROLLING STONES AND KISS? DANG RANDOM SWEDISH NOVELTY SET, WHY YOU GO SO HARD. I WAS A TINY LITTLE KID IN THE LATE 70S AND I FUCKIN LOVED ABBA. DANCING QUEEN IS MY JAM. THIS EXTREME CLOSEUP OF AGNETHA AND ANNIFRID CAUGHT MY EYE DUE TO HOW WEIRDLY HOT IT IS AND BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY FIFTY CENTS, MUCH CHEAPER THAN THE OTHER ABBA CARDS. I FLIPPED IT OVER AND FOUND THIS:

ADDED VALUE! THE ONLY WORD I CAN DECIPHER HERE IS TELEFON SO MY BEST GUESS IS CLAUS HERE TRIED TO GIVE SOME GIRL HIS DIGITS ON THE BACK OF A SEXY ABBA CARD. JUST THE MYSTERY HERE IS WELL WORTH THE 50 CENTS. CAN YOU SEE NOW WHY I'M SO HESITANT TO SPEND ACTUAL MONEY ON PETE ROSE CARDS WHEN THERE'S AMAZING STUFF LIKE THIS OUT THERE???

1984 EYDER SUPER MUSICAL GRACE JONES

HERE'S ANOTHER FOREIGN POP SET I KNOW EVEN LESS ABOUT. I THINK IT'S SPANISH?? I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ABOUT THIS AT ALL, BUT TCDB HAS A FULL GALLERY OF THE FRONTS AND HOLY SHIT, THE CHECKLIST MIGHT BE BETTER THAN THE SWEDISH SET, ESPECIALLY FOR FANS OF 80S MUSIC. THERE'S ALREADY ONE CARD IN THERE I HAVE TARGETED FOR THE NEXT TIME I ADD SOME CASH TO MY ACCOUNT. GRACE JONES IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A VERY FORMATIVE EVENT IN MY LIFE WHEN I SAW THE COVER TO ISLAND LIFE AND MY EYES POPPED OUT AND TONGUE ROLLED OUT ONTO THE FLOOR LIKE A TEX AVERY CARTOON. SHE'S ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE JAMES BOND BAD GUYS SO THIS CARD FITS INTO MY MUSICAL COLLECTION AND MY VILLAINS AND MONSTERS COLLECTION. THIS WAS ALSO JUST FIFTY FIVE CENTS, ONE-EIGHTH OF THAT UGLY MUG UP THERE. YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN YET THO, HERE'S SOME REAL MONSTERS

1974 YAMAKATSU GODZILLA ANTHOLOGY MECHAGODZILLA VS GODZILLA AND KING CAESAR

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS CARD. THE THIRD STRAIGHT SET I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BUT IS COOL AS HELL. WHAT I DO KNOW: GODDAMN THIS LOOKS AMAZING. THIS WAS LISTED AS MECHAGODZILLA, GODZILLA AND KING CAESAR BUT MECHAGODZILLA IS THE ONLY ONE I CAN MAKE OUT ON HERE. THE ORIGINAL FIGHT SCENE IS PRETTY CHAOTIC SO THAT MIGHT BE GODZILLA AND KING CAESAR IN A PILE ON THE LEFT GETTING THEIR ASSES KICKED BY MECHAGODZILLA'S DOUBLE ZAP BEAMS. WHO CARES, THIS CARD COST UNDER A BUCK AND ALL GODZILLA CARDS NEED TO BE IN MY COLLECTION. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND THE NEXT CARD MIGHT BE THE BEST

1975 TOPPS REGGIE JACKSON BALTAMORE TRADED VARIATION

WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS CARD??? THIS IS STUPENDOUS. TAPED CORNERS, SCRIBBLED A'S, BALT A MORE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS GOING IN MY 1975 SET, I MIGHT FRAME IT AND HANG IT ON THE WALL. MY TWO 1975 REGGIES (THANKS FOR THE MINI NIGHTOWL) ARE NOW BOTH DELICIOUSLY TRASHY. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. MY REACTION TO MY NEW YEAR'S EVE PICKUPS:

I'M SURE I WILL BE MUCH MORE GEEKED UP FOR THAT ROSE CARD WHEN I EVENTUALLY HAVE IT SHIPPED AND PUT IT INTO THE BINDER BUT FOR NOW I'M JUST HAPPY TO NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT PETE GLARING AT ME ASKING WHEN THE HELL I'M GOING TO BUY HIS CARD 

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT I'M DONE WITH YOU! GO AWAY! NOW THAT 1976 TOPPS (AND A BUNCH OF OTHER SETS) ARE FINISHED IT'S TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO FOCUS ON NEXT. JANUARY FIRST IS CARD GOALS RESET TIME! MAYBE THAT'LL BE A POST SOON SO I CAN REMEMBER WHAT THEY EVEN WERE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. THE NUMBER ONE GOAL FOR 2024 IS DEFINITELY BUY MORE WEIRD CARDS! IT'S SUPER FUN Y'ALL!

*DON'T GET ANY IDEAS 2024, YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN HAVING ME TRIP ON A BINDER OF 1977 TOPPS AND BREAKING MY NECK TO TAKE ME OUT

**ONE TELLTALE SIGN OF BAD WRITING*** IS PUTTING WAY TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS IN! YOU CAN SEE THIS A LOT IN CHEAP COMEDY MAGAZINES AND NOVELIZATIONS OF MOVIES. THE WRITER CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPICE SOMETHING UP THAT IS INCREDIBLY BORING SO JUST THROW IN A FEW !!! TO MAKE IT LOOK EXCITING! SEE HOW WELL IT WORKS! IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE BUT YOUR WRITING ENDS UP LOOKING LIKE AN ISSUE OF CRACKED FROM THE 70S!!

***ANOTHER ONE IS THROWING IN CHEAP JOKES IN FOOTNOTES. YOU'RE NOT DAVID FOSTER WALLACE YOU HACK

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #13

LOL I WAS SO EXCITED TO POST A JACK DAVIS CARD I FORGOT CARD #13

COUNT DUCKULA! Y'ALL KNOW I AM A FAN OF VAMPIRES, AND WHY SHOULDN'T DUCKS BE ABLE TO GET IN ON THE BLOODSUCKING ACTION. COUNT DUCKULA PREMIERED IN 1988 AFTER SPINNING OFF FROM THE SERIES DANGER MOUSE. I REMEMBER IT WAS PRETTY DECENT, A SERIES ABOUT A VEGETARIAN VAMPIRE DUCK IS A NEAT CONCEPT. IT WAS NO DANGER MOUSE, BUT WHAT IS. BUT WAIT, THIS ISN'T THAT COUNT DUCKULA, THIS IS FROM A CRUMMY COMIC BOOK MOVIE

13 - 1986 TOPPS HOWARD THE DUCK - DUCK-O-VISION: COUNT DUCKULA

HEY A MARVEL MOVIE. EVERYONE LOVES MARVEL MOVIES... RIGHT? THIS ONE NOT SO MUCH, WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE IT'S A PRETTY INTERESTING MOVIE 

I DIDN'T SAY GOOD, I SAID INTERESTING

YES, IT IS A BIT LOT OF A MESS, AND THE DUCK SUIT IS KINDA GOOFY, AND THE PLOT IS BATSHIT CRAZY, AND THERE'S A LOT OF CRINGEY MOMENTS NOT LEAST OF WHICH IS A SCENE THAT EDGES UNCOMFORTABLY TOWARDS FURRY PORN, BUT! IT'S A COMIC BOOK MOVIE! WHO CARES IF IT MAKES SENSE, COMIC PLOTS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS LUDICROUS. THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC DUCK, THE SUIT IS CLUNKY BUT WORKS WELL ENOUGH. I... HAVE NO DEFENSE FOR THE FURRY STUFF. THERE ARE NEKKID DUCK BOOBIES WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES. BUT SOME PEOPLE DIG THAT VIBE, LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS. IT AIN'T A CLASSIC BUT THE CAST IS GREAT, THERE'S SOME COOL ACTION PIECES AND FUN MONSTERS, AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY NO MORE EMBARASSING AND RIDICULOUS THAN 90% OF 80'S COMEDIES. IS A DUCK GETTING SUCKED DOWN TO EARTH FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION ANY MORE ABSURD THAN WHAT GOES ON IN BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS OR EVEN GHOSTBUSTERS? AND IT'S A HELL OF A LOT LESS EMBARASSING THAN SOUL MAN. THERE'S A BUDDY COP MOVIE WITH TOM HANKS AND A DOG, STUFF WAS GOOFIER IN THE 80S

I'LL ADMIT, WHEN I WAS 14 AND THIS CAME OUT I WAS AS LIVID AS EVERYONE ELSE. GEORGE LUCAS QUIT MAKING STAR WARS MOVIES FOR THIS??? UNACCEPTABLE. THE FILM HAD A LOT GOING AGAINST IT. THE LUCAS THING. COMICS WERE STILL DORKY IN THE 80S, EVEN WHEN BATMAN BLOWED UP. HOWARD WAS NOT A SUPER WELL KNOWN CHARACTER. EVEN WITH THE TECHNICAL KNOW-HOW GEORGE BROUGHT TO THE PROJECT A LOT OF THE THINGS THEY WERE TRYING TO DO DIDN'T QUITE WORK OUT RIGHT. PEOPLE STRAIGHT UP WEREN'T READY TO SEE LEA THOMPSON TRYING TO PLUCK A DUCK

BUT EVENTUALLY I DISCOVERED THE ACTUAL HOWARD THE DUCK COMICS AND THEY WERE FANTASTIC. CLEVER, CYNICAL AND VERY FUNNY. NOW WITH A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE CHARACTER I REWATCHED THE MOVIE AND... WELL, THE FILM DIDN'T GET A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT. IT TRADED THE CLEVER FOR SILLY AND A LOT OF THE HUMOR ENDED UP BEING UNINTENTIONAL. BUT IT GOT THE CYNICAL RIGHT, THE HUMAN WORLD IS A RIDICULOUS WORLD. AND A VERY ADULT AND SCARY WORLD AT THAT. SOME OF THE CHOICES TO SHOW JUST HOW ADULT THE WORLD IS LIKE HAVING HOWARD WORK IN A SEX CLUB AND SHOWING OFF DUCK BOOBS (A-WOO-OO) FAILED PRETTY HARD, BUT WHILE THIS MOVIE IS A FAILURE IT'S A DAMNED INTERESTING FAILURE. IT'S A BAD MOVIE BUT BAD MOVIES CAN BE A HELL OF A LOT OF FUN

ISN'T HOWARD HANDSOME IN HIS LITTLE SUIT. THAT'S ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FILM AND COMIC DIFFER, COMIC HOWARD DOES NOT WEAR PANTS. THERE'S A WHOLE STORY ARC ABOUT HOW THE OPRESSIVE OVERLORDS (LITERALLY DISNEY) FORCED HOWARD TO WEAR PANTS AND HE STILL ENDED UP CHUCKING THEM BY THE END OF IT. I'M NOT SAYING THE FILMMAKERS WERE WRONG FOR THIS. WE REALLY DIDN'T NEED HOWARD HANGING FREE ON THE SILVER SCREEN

UP NEXT: THE CORRECT CARD THIS TIME

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #14

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK DAVIS

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET IS ANOTHER SERIES I'VE ABANDONED FOR YEARS BUT NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO JUMP BACK IN. THE THREE PEOPLE WHO STILL READ THIS BLOG ALREADY KNOW WHAT A FRANKENSET IS BUT FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE SPAMMERS PUTTING LINKS TO SKETCHY SHIT IN THE COMMENTS HERE IS MY DEFINITION OF THE FRANKENSET:

A CHAOTIC TRADING CARD SET COMPOSED OF CARDS FROM A SPECIFIC BRAND OR THEME NUMBERED 1-100 OR 200 OR 10000 OR HOWEVER LONG YOU WISH WITH ONE CARD PER NUMBER ON THE BACK. EXAMPLES OF FRANKENSETS I COLLECT:

ALLEN & GINTER MINI SET

TOPPS GOLD PARALLEL SET

PANINI GOLDEN AGE SET

THIS HERE NON-SPORTS SET

EACH SET IS WHAT IS SAYS ON THE TIN: THE A&G MINI SET IS MADE OF MINI CARDS FROM ALL ALLEN & GINTER SETS NUMBERED 1-300. THE TOPPS GOLD PARALLEL SET IS MADE UP OF THE NUMBERED PARALLEL CARDS FROM 2001-ONWARD FOR CARDS 1-660. THE GOLDEN AGE SET WAS MADE BECAUSE I HAD A BUNCH OF GOLDEN AGE CARDS BUT WAS NEVER GOING TO COMPLETE ANY OF THEM SO I MADE MY OWN DAMN SET. AND THIS HERE IS, WELL, THIS HERE. SO FAR I HAVE PUT TOGETHER TWO SERIES OF 44 CARDS AND A PAGE OF STICKERS! I SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE A POST LINKING TO ALL THE PREVIOUS ONES BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE FINGERS ARE TYPING AND I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK MY INERTIA

#14 1990 SUNKIST WACKY PLAYERS - THE CRUSHER

JACK DAVIS ILLUSTRATED TRADING CARDS FROM AT LEAST 1959 TO 2009. FIFTY DAMN YEARS OF TRADING CARDS! AND THAT'S JUST THE ONES I KNOW ABOUT, HE MIGHT HAVE A FEW OTHERS HERE AND THERE BEFORE OR AFTER. THIS SET WAS INSERTED INSIDE SUNKIST FRUIT SNACKS AND WAS A MULTI-SPORT SET OF WACKY SPORTS STARS. SPORTS WERE A GREAT SUBJECT FOR JACK'S ART STYLE AS HE COULD EXPRESS THE MOTION AND ENERGY OF ATHLETICS SO WELL. NOT TO MENTION THE HUMOR, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE MANY MORE ILLUSTRATIONS OF A DUDE GETTING HIS HEAD STOMPED THAT'S FUNNIER THAN THIS ONE. IT'S ALSO A GREAT DEPICTION OF A MONSTER OF A FOOTBALL PLAYER. I'M SURE THE RED UNIFORM WASN'T AN ACCIDENT BY THE GEORGIA BULLDOG FAN

THERE'S LIKE TWO DOZEN GAGS ON THIS CARD AND THE BEST ONE MIGHT BE AVID GOLFER. WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS SET CERTAINLY HAD THE MAD MAGAZINE MINDSET OF THROWING EVERY JOKE AT THE WALL AND HOPING SOME OF THEM STICK. ALONG WITH MAD MAGAZINE, MOST OF THE JOKES DO LAND. I HAVE TWO CARDS FROM THIS SET AND I HAD TO REALLY THINK ABOUT WHICH ONE TO INCLUDE BUT IN THE END THIS WAS THE CLINCHER:

FUCK YEAH RAMONES. SO WHAT IF THE SONG IS ABOUT WRESTLING, YOU THINK THAT CRUSHER UP HERE WOULDN'T BE KING OF THE RING?

UPDATE: HERE'S THE FIRST ONE FIGURE IT OUT FROM THERE

June Vintage Card Show Loot: Non-Sport Intermission #1

having trouble dealing with life right now so here's some Cyd Charisse

The Box

It hasn't been a big secret around here that new baseball cards have bored the crap out of me this year. Just haven't been interested at all except for a little Archives frenzy that overtook me for about a month. This is really strange too because I like most of the 2012 designs. The flagship "Hindenburg" design is very attractive and quite fitting for Topps. Allen & Ginter has a snazzy Art Deco feel to it. Heritage ganks the 1963 design which was always one of my favorites. The problem is that they're the same old sets they've been for years, except now all their flaws have been magnified and exacerbated. Ginter still has truckloads of mini inserts and parallels, and now there are MORE of them and the subjects are kinda lame. Heritage is still hard to complete but now there's dozens of SSPs and variations thrown in the mix. And Topps? Well, shit. You can't even COMPLETE that set through ripping packs thanks to Brycie Har Har, so what's the point? Inserts? Topps recycled all of those from the 2001 set. May as well just buy a factory set a couple years down the road if you want that set*.

So this year, many trips to the card aisle ended up with me just shaking my head and walking away empty handed. One problem with that: when I created this blog I named myself Cardboard Junkie for a reason. This is not a fun childhood hobby for me, this is a full blown pathological obsession. I gotta collect something or I get itchy. I really need an intervention, but until that happens I'm stuck with my craziness.

Ponies have helped. Not gonna lie, you're gonna see more ponies here and soon. I'm running out of pony cards to collect though. Vintage has also gotten me through some rough spells but my Vintage show hasn't been her since May and my work schedule is hindering my attendance at other shows and my LCS. But even though I don't have a junkie fix, The Sickness still has a grip on me and when that happens I find... alternate means of getting my cardboard high.

Right down the street from me is a flea market. It's maybe a 20 minute walk if you don't mind walking in ditches or dodging pick-em-up trucks because Georgia doesn't believe in sidewalks. This used to be my #1 source for feeding my addiction. There were at least three or four guys selling cards there every week including one with every new product you could imagine and one with every vintage card you could think of. The county unsuccessfully tried to run 'em out of business a few years ago so they could build a strip mall but they only managed to run off half of the sellers including my card connection. There's still a guy selling cards there, but it's mostly junk wax that he has priced at turn of the century levels because he doesn't know any better. I can find a couple cards here and there I need if I look but lately I just don't have the urge to look.

On the other side of the market though is a comic and toy seller. I like comics. I like toys. I checked out the place once and discovered they had unopened non-sports wax. Including a box of my favorite non-sports set ever. Sooooo I bought a non-sports box. And maybe a couple more. And perhaps the shopkeep started recognizing me as that dude with the hobo beard who keeps buying cards. And there's the *tinest* chance that I was offered a deal on some non-sports stuff. And maybe I took it.

What you see here is a 5000-count box full of near sets of non-sports cards. about 25 or 30 of 'em. Instant non-sports collection basically. Plus on top is a wax bos of Wacko-Saurs stickers that was thrown in because I mentioned I liked the 'dinosaur cards'. All that for the price of a blaster.

Along with the near sets was a big pile of random junk that didn't fit in with anything else. This pile by itself is probably worth the money spent. For one thing, it's going to fuel this blog for at least the next couple of months while I get everything else sorted out. I hope you guys like non-sports cards because now that the new stuff bores me to tears you're going to be seeing quite a bit of it here. Along with the occasional baseball card older than me and some tiny horses thrown in here and there for variety. Don't count on any '13 products though. Unlike this year when I was sucked in by Archives and Ginter in 2013 I might really be out for good this time.

*B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but Bryce Harper's one and only truly rookie card! You have to rip open packs! Bullshit. Card #661 is card #661. I'll let my grandkids curse me for not having the 'good' one.

It Came From The Oddball Box - part 6: Alienated

The reason there was no oddball card yesterday is because I scanned the cards, but didn't have time to post the images. I am full blown into The Week That Will Likely Kill Me Dead, so you may not get anymore oddballs after this. I'll do my best not to leave off the oddballs on this note.

Alf! I freaking loved Alf when it was on the air. How could you not like an obnoxious alien who ate cats. Or threatened to eat cats anyway, I don't think he ever got his mitts on one on the show. My mom was a fan too, she got a talking Alf doll at one point. I watched an episode on TV Land many years later and it didn't hold up. Sigh. So many awesome things from the '80s never held up.

I liked the show but the cards, not so much. A joke that works on a tv show often bombs on a card. Especially when it's even more obvious the joke is being told by a puppet.

I bought one lone pack of Alf cards and quickly forgot about them. part of the reason is the strange Bouillabaseball cards that were inserted into each pack. They were cartoons of other Alfs playing some weird sloppy game with slime and fish that critters with thick shaggy hair would not be caught dead playing. The name was incomprehensible to a kid of however old I was when the cards were released. I got the baseball part but Bouilla? What the hell is a Bouilla? Bobby Bouilla? Some couple decades later I learned from Food Network that bouillabaisse is a Frenchy fishy soup. How the heck is a tween card collector supposed to figure out that pun?

There were plenty more puns in the set though, often deliciously crude. Ha, ha. Pulling a hat out of a rabbit. I see what you did there, you switched the two things around and turned it into something different. I mean, how could you possible pull a hat out of a rab... uh... EEEEWWWW! Now that's a mental image a 12 year old can truly appreciate!

It Came From The Oddball Box - part 3: Potential Blasphemy

You people have been steadfastly ignoring the non-sports posts so far, but I have a feeling I'll get angry comments on this one.

Ok, let me explain this card... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. You see folks, I don't like Kiss.

Just never got into 'em I guess. They were really big when I was a kid, and I sure knew of them but I was far more into Star Wars at the time and my mom was listening to stuff like The Beatles and the Stones and Floyd and my uncle had a Zeppelin LP lying around amongst the Zappa and I never did really hear Detroit Rock City at an impressionable age. I mean, like, I knew who they were and all. I recognized the makeup. I knew the names... Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and The Other Guy. I could even point out Simmons in a crowd. They just didn't appeal to me all that much as a kid and when I started listening to '70s rock designed to make your parents mad I preferred The Sex Pistols and the Buzzcocks and The Ramones and The Damned. So that's why I used this Kiss card of, um, Not Gene Simmons as a divider for my Topps Football card sets. Yeah, football. I used about 8 inches of tape on the thing too. I really just didn't care a flip about that card.

Ok, I know some of you out there Luuuuuuurve Kiss and to you, I apologize. The 20 year old tape is now permanently stuck and the one part where I tried to rip it off about a decade ago took some of the card with it. I just really didn't like this card.

It may be because of the back. There is a puzzle piece on the back and when I looked at it after all these years... well, have any of you seen the episode of Red Dwarf where Kryten becomes human, takes photos of a part of his anatomy and gives them to Lister to see if it's supposed to look like that? That was my reaction.

What the smeg?

?????

OH DEAR GOD

Seriously, why the hell would I want a card with a hairy gut hanging over a freakin' plate armor codpiece on the back? Ugh. Sorry. Ijustdon'tlikeKiss.

WORLD WAR MONKEY

I've been following the blog Ephemera for a long time, and not just because they interviewed me a while back. I like neat old papery stuff. I saw this link pop up on my RSS feed and clicked.

FROM THAT VERY MOMENT MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER

For this was not just any post, this was a post showcasing a trading card set.

ABOUT MONKEYS. MONKEY GENERALS. THAT FOUGHT IN MONKEYLAND WORLD WAR ONE. FEATURED ON FAUX EARLY TWENTIETH CENTURY TOBACCO CARDS. ONE OF THE MONKEYS IS NAMED PRINCE BRUNO VON SNIFFENFINGER. JUMPIN JESUS ON A POGO STICK HOW FREAKIN COOL IS THAT.

tHE SET IS A CREAT- *ahem* The set is a creation of illustrator Chet Phillips who has a pretty neat style. Gotta love the Tikis. Chet sent Ephemera a set to review and I was blown away. Feckin monkey general tobacco cards!!! But I've gone over that already... I clicked on Chet's site and found that he was selling sets on Etsy. I wasn't too familiar with Etsy, but basically it's an online shopping mall for handmade items. I clicked to look at the set, but figured that it's handmade art and stuff so it will probably cost more than I could afford. I clicked and saw that I could have my very own MONKEY FREAKIN GENERAL set for the low, low price of 5 smackers. Five bucks! Plus shipping! REASONABLE shipping, not EBay ripoff shipping! For bellicose turn of the century simians!

I had to get them.

I couldn't not get them.

It was like when I stumbled upon the near set of Dinosaur Attacks at Goodwill that one time. I was so dumbfounded that the Good Lord in his wisdom and mercy would place something so precious and wonderful in my path. It would be an affront to all that is good and cardworthy not to purchase them. So I did.

Oh dear Lord, that was a pain in the ass.

First I had to register for Etsy, with was a breeze. I was in, had my login and everything so I clicked to purchase. Then: THE HORROR.

PayPal.

I friggin HATE PayPal. I logged in tried to pay and #BZZZZT# my old credit card was in there. I tried to change it and #BZZZZT# this card is on file and cannot be used for security reasons. Of COURSE it's on file! It's my card! I used it last time! So now I'm getting panicky until I realized I could bypass PayPal altogether and use my credit card. So I did. #BZZZZT# You have a PayPal login, do you want to use PayPal?


NOIDONTWANTTOUSESTINKINPAYPAL! PAYPAL IS THE DEVIL! I WILL NEVER AGAIN USE PAYPAL AS LONG AS I LIVE! IF PAYPAL INFILTRATES THE FEDERAL RESERVE AND MAKES PAYPAL THE ONE AND ONLY METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PAYPAL MARK OF THE BEAST TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREHEAD TO FUNCTION IN CIVILIZED SOCIETY I WILL GO COMPLETELY OFF THE GRID LIVE OFF OF GRUBS AND BERRIES AND FORM AN UNDERGROUND REBELLION TO OVERTHROW THE EVIL THAT IS PAYFREAKINGPAL!!!!! YOU WON'T LET ME USE MY OWN GODDAMN CREDIT CARD ANYWAY SO IT'S KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE TO USE PAYPAL AT THE MOMENT!
AAAAAAHHHHH! I JUST WANNA BUY MONKEYCARDS!

(I sure am yelly today)

So, no, I didn't use PayPal (whew) and the order appears to have gone through. Once I have warlord monkeys in my hands it will all have been worth it. Once they arrive I'll show off my favorite monkey. In the meantime you can check out prints of the monkeys in question, or if monkeys aren't your thing (although I can't see why anyone wouldn't like monkeys) there's also plenty of other stuff to look through like this Doggie and Kitty Lucha Libre Wrestling set.

But for me, it's all about the monkeys.

FIGHTIN' MONKEYS!

YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Skeery Monsters!

I can't blame all my recent inactivity to work and family and all that other real life stuff that keeps me from messing with my baseball cards. I've been distracted by the thing that makes October great. No, not this crap, my team is long gone and I wanted to see the Indians and Phillies so we could find out once and for all which city's Voodoo losing curse is stronger. (turns out both are pretty darn strong) No, it's Halloween season! There are bad horror movies to watch! Goofy Pop Culture references to catch! And Candy! Lots and lots of candy. I'm munching on some mallowcreme pumpkins as I type this.

There's not a lot of overlaps between horror movies and baseball cards except for maybe the Sandy Koufax card from Needful Things. There are tons of non sport stuff out there that feature monsters and such. I-Mockery, the folks who reviewed the candy in the link above, show off one of these old monster sets with their Topps Monster Initial Sticker Name Generator. It's a nice review of a rare old non-sports set, plus you can make your name out of monster stickers without tracking down the cards! Check it out!

Woooo! Scary monsters! If you scroll down to the end of the monster generating link, you get even more trading cards. The world is totally ready for a Herschell Gordon Lewis card. This is actually I-Mockery's second set of Scary-Ass trading cards, they put out a set of 13 last year. WARNING - the last card on that page is one of the most horrific monsters known to mankind... Click with Caution!!! You can't get series two in factory set form though, oh no... You have to collect them. Simply search through the site and find each of the cards, then e-mail the URLs listed to the webmaster to get your special bonus card (plus a chance to win a Halloween prize pack). There are twenty cards in this year's set and they are just as good as last year. I've found 15 so far, the latest is of one of my favorite actors:

Peter Lorre! Forget Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon and all the other great movies he did, he was the inspiration for the voice of Ren from Ren & Stimpy. This is a really nifty set for all the monster movie lovers out there. Go get 'em all, if you need some hints check the comments for some spoilers and then leave your own tips for finding cards.