YOU MADE ME BUY IT ON COMC WHYYYY
at least i'm done
My Topps Updates and Highlights reviews got completely forgotten when Bowman Heritage came out, so here's a blaster box break and a mini review for anyone who's interested.
WM46 Carlos Lee - 1911 Helmar stamps
This pack kind of bummed me out because all three designs were used in the second series set. The Fatima design was used for Nick Swisher's card, Holliday's T205 design was on Ryan Zimmerman's card and Carlos lee shares a Helmar design with Michael Young. They even used the exact same Helmar stamp design to boot when there are a bunch of different borders from that set. They are still the best inserts from Topps this year and this pack is one sixth of the set. ok, on to the packs.
I like the Mantle history set. I'd rather they do something like this if they have to have a hero worship set, using different card designs with different photos on each card. The monotonous mirrors counting down home run after home run can go away. The '54 design is one of the best too.
I'm more tired of this stupid Home Run King card than I was with the Mickey Mantle home run #1 card that was in every pack a couple years ago. I pull one more of these and I'm going to go all Mark Ecko and brand it with a asterisk before shooting it into the sun.
The All-Star set is one of the best things about the U&H set every year.
The Generation Now cards are obnoxious enough, but it seems like half the set is this boring blue color like on Kinsler's card. This set can't die fast enough for me. Here's Jarrod Saltalamaccia's MLB Rookie card even though have have several of his Bowman cards from a few years back.
A Troy Tulowitski auto out of a ten dollar blaster. I am the luckiest sonovabitch on the planet. I think Topps might be trying to bribe me with good hits because they know I despise this product.
I personally like the Classic Combo cards, but you have to admit this is a rather obscure pairing.
The Papelbon and the Prince Fielder Generation Now cards are the only ones out of this series that I like. They are both great players and the red and purple backgrounds aren't sleep inducing.
Barry crap card. Pppppbbbhtthttt.
Gold cards are nice I suppose.
The good thing about this Mantle home run card is that it's #496 and he only hit 40 more after this one. They can't keep this up forever! The can however do a Mickey Mantle at bats mirror set and drag it out another 8102 cards.
I originally said this was a 15 pack break, but you know how it is. I couldn't resist. 20's a nice round number, I promise I'll stop here. At least until the Wal-Mart blasters come out.
Matt DeSalvo's signature looks more like a logo than an autograph. Matt Morris looks somewhat bemused to be a member of the Pirates. It was a pretty bizarre trade, so I don't blame him. Kyle Davies, now he looks pissed. He went from future Braves' ace to Royals' spot starter in about two years time, I'd be upset too. Ubaldo's rookie card comes about a week too late to mean anything. The red cards are boring as hell, and the Mantle History card is really the only thing worth a damn in here. Switching up to the '54 design for this series is a good change of pace, it would have been nice if they had done the same thing with the mirror set. Oh who am I kidding, a bootleg '55 design repeated 532 times with slight variations in photo and color is pure genius and I'm just jealous because I didn't think of it.
Just when you thought the Generation Now inserts could never get any more ridiculous, Topps pulls out runners caught stealing as an insert-worthy stat. Twenty-nine inserts actually. He threw out Aaron freaking Boone! Who cares! The rest of the pack is star-studded at least. Griffey and Santana All-Star cards, Hamels & Martin at the All-Star game and Verlander's no hitter card make up for a stupid insert. Just barely. Kason Gabbard is another weird choice for a card number divisible by 100. Abraham Nunez, Brad Salmon and now Gabbard get the 100, 200 and 300 cards. Aren't these supposed to be given to decent players? The checklist is kind of dicey since this is a set full of players who were traded, called up this year or just weren't good enough to get into series 1 or 2, but come on. Sosa, Teixeira and Joba. There's numbers 100, 200 and 300 right there. It's not that difficult to do these things right. Then again, the #100 slot was used for the Ellsbury variation, so maybe they put crappy players there on purpose. Perhaps there is a #200 A-Rod variation hiding in blaster boxes shipped to Des Moines and a #300 Bullwinkle J. Moose card variation so rare the only known copy is in Keith Olbermann's sock drawer.
Jason Simontacchi is still in the league? Huh. Never mind that, I got the Ryan Braun rookie! All right! The good one, not the Royals one. I can't believe I have this awesome player's very first card. Oh wait, never mind. Another good red card, keep 'em coming. B*rry B*nds is b*yc*tting my bl*g f*r gr*tuit*us and *bn*xi*us *pplic*ti*n of *sterisks. Don't be mad at me Barry! I didn't want a stupid asterisk branded onto that home run ball. I wanted the damn thing shot into space!
Uh oh, I pissed off Barry and now he's going to keep showing up in my packs. This card is numbered HRK which coincidentally enough is the sound I made in the back of my throat when Bacsik threw him that meatball. It just occurred to me that JD Drew now has a ring. Ugh. Trevor Hoffman helped that happen indirectly. Man this pack depresses me. Let's go to the next one quick before I try to figure out what is going on on that Classic Combos card. Chase isn't really punching Ichiro in the guts, is he?.
Well, at least I got Manny. I can say one thing about this pack, it's sheer awfulness prompted me to buy 5 more packs of the stuff which turned out to be a great move on my part. Find out why in part three.
For anyone interested here's the breakdown of the first 10:
More Alex Gordon bullshit going on in the new Topps.


Not a terrible first pack. The Salty card is cool and since he's in a Rangers uniform that means Teixeira is going to be in a Braves uni. AT LEAST HE BETTER BE YOU HEAR ME TOPPS. Don't make me smack you. Phil Hughes is a nice card and any David Wright is welcome even though he is one of the enemy. More stupid red parallels mean 30 cards out of these packs are more or less useless to me. Finally, the Curtis Granderson Generation Now card is ridiculous not only in that the insert set is now up to over 500 cards in size, but that Topps deems it essential to honor a double hit off Esteban Loaiza with a trading card.
The Posada gold card would appear to be the best from this pack, but you'd be wrong. Mike Zagurski's rookie card takes the prize simply for the fact that he looks like a grown up Engelberg from the Bad News Bears. Walter Matthau version, of course. Nothing much else to speak of in this pack except that Jack Cust once kicked ass for me in an old Front Page Sports '98 sim league I was in a few years ago.
Buncha rookies in this pack. I'm somewhat dismayed to see another rookie card with that cheesy red background that ended up on a ton of Red Sox cards over the past couple of years. Even worse, it's on David Murphy's card which means the red backdrop has infected the Rangers cards as well. Someone call the CDC! Beltran and Jeter All-Star cards are nice to have. I actually like the Gen Now card in this pack. It's Prince Fielder, it's counting down homers instead of catcher's interference or sac flies or some such nonsense, and the card just looks good. The 8th one I pull with the same photo will get tedious though.
Crapped out on this pack. Got my first double in Brad Salmon and yet another Curtis Granderson Gen Now card. So what if the other Salmon is a red parallel and the number is different on the Granderson card. The picture's the same on both and they will end up simply cluttering up my Topps box. How did Brad Salmon get the coveted #200 card anyway? If this was actually Series 3, he'd end up with #861 which seems more appropriate. He's got the stupid beige background instead of the stupid red background. Is the guy at least a decent pitcher for all the aggravation he's giving me? Hrm, average middle reliever. Ok, I'll let it slide this time, but no more annoying cards from you, young man.
Lotsa Brewers in this pack. Tony Graffanino has managed to carve out a nice little career for himself. Good for him. If you're going to get a lousy red card, it may as well be of a superstar like Santana. I'll get the base card soon enough once the blasters hit. Tulowitzki's highlight was an unassisted triple play against the Braves. I was watching that game and it was an interesting feeling to be thinking "Holy shit, that was cool!" and "Aw FUCK how did that just happen?!?" simultaneously. I had just about the same reaction to Barry's 756 card. I didn't appreciate just how nice it was not to get any of these damn cards in series two packs.
Yep, #60 John Smoltz was the absolute last card I needed for my Topps set. Somehow despite knowing I needed Smoltzie for months and actively looking for him, I still couldn't find his card in Atlanta. Braves boxes, nope. Common boxes, hell nope. Piles of all John Smoltz cards, not there. Bricks with Braves cards on the front and back, nada. Dozens of packs, uh uh. Looking through Rack packs and those goofy packs with 21 cards and a stick of gum for one showing on the front or back, still no luck. I had even downloaded the Smoltz Topps card wallpaper from the web site of that game card that was in every other pack and I still didn't have the actual card. I had checked all the other ones off my list, but still couldn't find a Smoltz card IN ATLANTA. Finally I had my favorite dealer look through the stuff at his house and got this little beauty for free, no less. Hey, it never hurts to ask. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that after doing a reality check, I found that my set was missing #93 Mike Napoli (really irksome since I had his stupid Generation Now inserts) and #436 Ricky Nolasco so they are technically the last cards I needed for the set. I'm not counting those however because I remember buying them out of a common box and they went sideways somewhere in between the shop and my set. They are likely hiding in a pile of doubles thinking they are being sneaky. I simply got two more from the same place I picked them up in the first place as they had several of each. The Smoltz was the one I really had to dig for, so he gets to be the one to finish it off. Bring on Series Three, I'm ready for you now!
*I originally typed posing instead of posting in this sentence before I went through one last proofread. My Freudian slip is showing.