RIP Topps Football - 1956-2009

Wail, weep and woe! King Topps has been unfairly stripped of its NFLPA license! 55 years of history flushed down the toilet! Football shall never recover! Topps is doomed! The hobby shall falter! All is lost! I'll never buy another football card again! Everything is ruined forever!

Well, actually Topps has been doing football cards since 1948, not 1956. And they didn't have NFL cards at all for four of those years. And no NFL Properties license (or logos) for another decade or so. And absolutely no talent for making football cards at all, ever. And they have an exclusive license to produce cards for the only sport that really matters. And MMA and Wrestling licenses that will probably outsell most of the other sports. And a bunch of non-sports products. And they'll probably run a a double reverse around the license and put out something football related anyway. Oh, they also sell gum.

Topps will be fine. I'll be fine, you'll be fine, the hobby will be fine, everybody will be fine. However, I simply cannot let such a melodramatic wave of retro nostalgia angst go to waste. This is a golden opportunity to begin a huge long-ass project that I've wanted to do for 2 years but don't really have time for and will end up abandoning about a third of the way into it anyway when I get bored or distracted or evicted from my house or something. So with no further ado (lies!) here's the beginning of...

CARDBOARD JUNKIE'S REVIEW OF EVERY TOPPS FOOTBALL BASE SET EVER

Let's start with the early days of Topps football cards before they got mixed up with that newfangled NFL. What an unmitigated disaster that was, just look how it turned out for them! They shoulda stuck with the college cards, like they did with these four sets here:

1948 Topps Magic

Set size: 252 cards over 19 series
Actual football cards in the set: um, 18? maybe?
Card Size: 7/8" x 1 7/16"
Best card: Doak Walker, maybe Chuck Bednarik
Rookies: probably all of 'em

I don't have any of these cards so I used a 2009 Topps Magic insert to illustrate what they kinda sorta looked like. These cards were an early early trading card gimmick. The cards came out of the pack blank, when you got the card wet and pasted it to the wrapper or put it in direct sunlight or some such nonsense the picture would 'develop' and you'd have a card with a really faded and blotchy image of some celebrity or whatnot. This was Topps' first set of anything ever so it'e pretty historical. Not historical enough for me to pick up even a type card, apparently.

1950 Topps Felt Backs

Set size: 100 cards with 25 extra color variations
Card Size: 7/8" x 1 7/16"
Best card: Joe Paterno
Rookies: most of 'em

I don't even have a reprint of these scarce little buggers. Haven't even seen one in person that I can recall. You can take a look at 'em here and here if you wish. Check out the crazy eyes on Harry Ulinski! These cards were tinly like the '48 Magic cards and had a black & white image of the player surrounded by a solid color border on the front, and a felt college pennant on the back. The fronts have red, blue, green or brown borders with the colors divided equally in the 100 card set. Cards with a brown border can also be found with a scarce yellow border variation. The best card by far in the set is one of Joe Paterno, back when he was quarterback of Brown university. There are also four hall of famers in the set and a college football card of 1958 AL MVP Jackie Jensen. If anyone out there actually has one of these things in their collection, please let me know because I've seriously never even seen one before.

1951 Topps Magic

Set size: 75 cards
Card Size: 2 1/16" x 2 15/16"
Best card: Vic Janowicz? Really?
Rookies: I don't know, man. I don't have a good football price guide to tell me these things.

This is the set Topps resurrected into an odd retro college sticker auto set this year. The cards are a little bigger and have full color fronts this time. Topps still gimmicked up the set with a scratch-off trivia question on the back. If you lose your mind and decide you just have to collect a complete set of cards from the '50s, this might be a good one to tackle. There are only 75 cards in the set, making it the smallest Topps football base set. There are also virtually no stars in the set at all. My ancient football card price guide from 1985 shows only 7 out of the 75 cards in the set book for more than the common price. Those players are: Babe Parilli, Bill Wade, Jim Weatherall, Marion Campbell, Bert Rechichar, John Bright and Pittsburgh Pirate outfielder Vic Janowicz. The most interesting card in the set has to be George Young, the long time NFL executive who built three Super Bowl champs.

1955 Topps All American

Set size: 100 cards, cards 93-100 are short printed
Card Size: 2 5/8" x 3 5/8"
Best card: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Other good cards: Jim Thorpe, Knute Rockne, Red Grange, Amos Alonzo Stagg, Sammy Baugh, Otto Graham, Sid Luckman, Ernie Nevers, Don Hutson.

As far as I'm concerned this is the greatest football card set in the history of carddom. The set features some of the absolute greatest players in college football history. The design is absolutely unique with the color action photo superimposed ove a black and white stock football photo. The college logos were made up by Topps and are often completely random. There's even a trivia cartoon on the back. A full gallery of the cards can be found here. A good look at the two best cards in the set, Jim Thorpe and The Four Horsemen, can be found here. The most interesting card in the set is one of Byron "Whizzer" White, who later became a Supreme Court Justice. He was also the guy who accidentally ran backwards 51 yards on a play resulting in an NFL record for biggest yardage loss on a play from scrimmage. Oops.

Card of the Week - Old Hoss

Charles "Old Hoss" Radbourn. Hall of Famer. Boston Beaneater. 300 game winner. 60 of those wins (give or take a win or two) came in ONE SEASON. Pitched 73 complete games that year. Was a grouchy old drunk, which is the best kind of drunk. Threw a wicked curve underhanded. A charley horse is named after him. Really knew how to pose for a picture. Greatest contribution to American culture: the very first person to ever flip a bird in a photograph. Lost an eye in a hunting accident. Died of syphillis at the age of 42.


And now, Old Hoss Radbourn Twitters from the Grave

This is pretty much the best thing ever.

Old Hoss on:

Players and Managers:
Derek Jeter
Pedro Martinez
Alex Rodriguez
Chase Utley
Mark McGwire
David Ortiz
Ryan Howard
Mark Buehrle
Jake Peavy
Jamie Moyer
Hideki Matsui
Curt Schilling
Tommy Lasorda
Mariano Rivera
Prince Fielder
Joba Chamberlain
King Kelly
Carl Pavano
Chien Ming Wang
Steve Carlton
Bobby Cox

Announcers:
Tim McCarver
Joe Buck
Chip Caray
Ken Rosenthal
John Sterling
Jayson Stark
Mike Lupica
Creepy Tweets about Joe & Tim

Other people:
Bud Selig
Edith Wharton
Roy Hobbs
Bill James
Barack Obama
Bernie Madoff
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Grandpas

Random musings:
Mustaches
Value Over Replacement Player
Philly Fans
Celebrations
Showboat Umpires
Beanballs
Warnings for beanballs
Tommy John surgery
Illegal Drugs
Winning 300 games
Erectile Disfunction
The Olive Garden
The USS Maine
Field of Dreams

I read every single tweet this weekend and I have to say, why the f&#$ didn't they invite him to that damn cornfield??

Sticky Sunday - RRAAAAAARRRR Edition

Ok, time to start posting packages I got several months ago when I was in my doldrums. I may be lazy and slow and easily distractable, but I'll get there in the end. Let's start off with a couple of stickers received from Trader Crack's and Mark's Ephemera.

T-Rex:

Skate Kate:

T-Rex munching on a skater dude came from Mr. Cracknell, T-Rex BECOMING a skater dude is courtesy of Mark. Tyrannosaurus completes my sticker set from the 1988 Dinosaurs Attack! set. I'm only missing cards 2 and 38 from the main set now thanks to Mark and Ryan. The T-Rex sticker isn't even the goriest one in the set, there's a couple others with entrails, a-flying. My favorite is the parasaurolophus munching on the baby. As for Skate Kate, well, I have no clue what the heck's going on there. It looks like a weird mash-up of dinosaurs and Garbage Pail Kids. The back features a puzzle of Kate. I don't know what set this is from, but any set with art like that, that also has a possible reference to an obscure John Entwhistle song is all right with me. Not to mention it looks like a possible inspiration for this.

While these were by far the awesomest cards int eh packages, there was other cool stuff in there as well. These came from Trader Crack:

MLB Showdown Chipper Jones promo

This is a promo giveaway for the MLB Showdown game. I was able to pick up a promo from the Wizards of the coast store at the Mall of America back when these first came out, but unfortunately for the Braves fan drooling over the Andruw and Chipper promos, I got Corey Koskie instead. Nine years later, I finally have a Chipper!

Three Topps205 minis

This knocks me down to 16 needed for the mini set. I wonder which mini set I'll complete first, this one or my 1-350 mixed 2006-2009 Allen & Ginter mini set...

A strange Canadian Diet Pepsi Tom Glavine card I've never seen before in my life

I've seen a WHOLE lot of Tom Glavine cards in my day, but I ain't never seen this one.

Here's some stuff from Mark:

Ace Pilot Grover

I don't know what set this is from but it needs to go in my "Kick-butt epic weird oddball non-sports card binder" stat. Actually, I need to create that binder just for this card. A is for awesome.

Dinosaurs Attack! cards for the set

Why, oh why can't we have another insanely gross and violent set like this one nowadays?? Actually, now that I come to think of it, I think we DID.

2009 Smokies Schedule

Ryno on a minor league schedule! How cool is that? Ryne Sandberg was the manager of the Tennesse Smokies last year and did a pretty dang good job of it. Ryne might be managing up in the bigs before too long. If there are any Sandberg supercollectors out there, it looks like he's in the Smokies' 2009 team set.

Thanks for the stuff guys, I've got you two on my "to send" list once I am able to send out cards again. Keep the want lists updated!

And the final results on which sticker is coolest...

Tyrannosaurus	15 (71%)
Skate Kate	6 (28%)

Votes so far: 21
Poll closed

Chomping a skater is cooler than actually skating.

Hot Stove on Fire

Trades are flying early on the Hot Stove...

The Red Sox picked up Jeremy Hermida from the Marlins for a couple of minor league lefties. Ho-hum, once again the Marlins dump someone as soon as he makes more than 2 mil a year and the Sox are stockpiling a bunch of cheap contracts just because they can. Also:

The Twinkies snag shortstop JJ Hardy from the Brewers...

for centerfielder Carlos Gomez. Looks like Orlando Cabrera and Mike Cameron are unemployed again.

In other news, half the league filed for free agency. Here's a list of the players who have filed from your favorite team. Now that you've looked that over, here's a shopping list grouped by position so you can play GM and replace them all! Hmmm... I'll take Adam LaRoche, Carl Crawford, Chone Figgins and finish up with Rafael Soriano.

What do you mean my credit card is over the limit?!?

Someone get Timmy a box of Goodwin, quick!

DAMMIT TIM - DO CARDS, NOT DRUGS

So, yeah. Tim Lincecum got totally busted smoking weed. Anyone surprised at all? Anyone not looking forward to the melodramatic hand wringing that will be on ESPN and every single sports talk station tomorrow? Here I was all geeked up about Hot Stove League and now I'm going to have to listen to a bunch of middle aged white men spluttering on about the children.

Legalize everything, regulate it, TAX it and kick all non-violent hippies on possession charges out of our tax funded prisons and make them get a job or live in momma's basement. Then there will be enough revenue generated to pay for two useless wars (and maybe start another one!), fully fund communist universal public option single payer socialized health care, and have enough left over to bail out another dozen banks who decided to play craps with the housing market. It's all about priorities folks. In this economy ya can't randomly bomb Afghani civilians, set up death panels to kill your Nana, ensure that crooked bank execs get their golden parachutes and throw stoners into PMITA prison all at the same time, something's gotta give.

Oh wait, I'm ranting, aren't I? Sorry 'bout that, I've been listening to Bill Hicks again. Someone seriously needs to straighten out Lincy though. Maybe a veteran on the Giants can take him under his wing. Timmy should stay at Barry Zito's place the rest of the offseason. That guy seems extemely stable and as solidly conservative as they come.

Timmy would've won the Cy Young Award... but he got hiiiiiigh...


(oh wait)

Seriously though, click on this link and read the comments. COMEDY GOLD.

It Begins...

The Hot Stove League is officially underway!

The Royals shipped off Mark Teahen to their division rivals in exchange for infielders Chris Getz and Josh Fields. I didn't know Chris Getz existed until about an hour ago. Josh Fields is best known in baseball card circles as one of the prospects who got a super stealth short printed variation card in 2007 Topps Series 1 Wal-Mart packs. Anyone who has opened a pack of cards in the past 4 years knows exactly who Mark Teahen is. He's the Royal not named Grienke or Gordon. Now he's a Sock.

Nope, I didn't forget about Aki, traded to the Pirates for a rookie reliever. Awww yeah, let the filings and tradings and signings begin!

arrrggghhh

Congratulations to U.S. Steel upon winning their 27th championship.

To commemorate this event, here is a poem by Robert S. Wieder originally published in the January, 1999 issue of Playboy.

If this terse rhyme, about our pastime

Seems a little cranky,

It's possibly because the writer

Hates the F&$%ing Yankees.

Yankees fans, whoop it up! Jeter's got one for the thumb. Everyone else, remember Linus Van Pelt's motto...

JUST WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!!

6 in 30 - '90s Random Crap Binder

The World Series has made me a nervous wreck. That and all the caffeine I drank today. To wind down and relax I'm doing another 6 in 30 post and maybe drinking large amounts of intoxicating beverages. I actually pulled the cards for this post a while back, but am just now getting around to posting them. That's why you may recall that one of the cards was traded away a while back.

These 6 were pulled from the binder of random 90's insert cards I put together a loooong time ago. Back when '90s inserts meant something. There were baseball, football, basketball and even a page of racing cards in there, but the ones that caught my eye were all baseball (sort of). I'm not sure if this is the proper methodology for this excercise, but the way I've been doing my 6 in 30 posts have been to flip through the binder really quickly and then pick out the top 6 cards that caught my eye. Only aseball caught my eye this time so hat's what ya get. Here's my 6:

1996 Leaf Limited Rookie Derek Jeter

I know, I'm complaining about the Yankees and then posting a Derek Jeter card. However, this card is amazing. AMAZING! Mid-90s high end, baby. This here might be my favorite insert set of all time. Leaf Limited base was mind blowing enough in 1996, but the logo with shiny holo-rays beaming out of it is just sick. Not a bad player on this one either...

199something Collector's Choice Jose Canseco Crash the Game Gold

I forgot the year on this one and have already mailed it off to Mario. 1996 or 7 I think. This was a contest UD had back in the day. Pull a card, and if the player hit a home run during the series listed you get a prize. The reward for the gold cards was a clear card of the player made out of acetate with a frame around the picture. Again, crazy stuff for the mid-90s.

1992 Upper Deck Willie Mays Baseball Heroes

Willie freakin' Mays with the signature moment of his career right here. Of course every time I see this play I hear Lou Brown in my head:

Nice catch Hayes, Don't ever f**king do it again.

1996 SPX Cecil Fielder

If you think Leaf Limited was cool in 1996, holy crap these were WAY cooler. Die cut two hologram insanity. I refused to buy any of the one card packs but I picked up cheap singles whenever I found them. Wax Heaven just opened a box of these suckas and I'm jealous. Why oh why can't anyone put out a card like this anymore...

1996 Leaf Steel Johnny Damon Gold parallel

Wild and wacky stuff came out in '96 didn't it? The gimmick in this set was that one card per pack was made of steel. I always wanted to buy a box and put it in my carry-on bag as I went through the airport. When the metal detector went beep, I would then be forced to open the entire box in the security line and I could share my Mojo hitz with the dude waving around the metal detector wand. Nowadays that'll get you tazed and sent on a wone way trip to Gitmo. Here's Johnny Damon's gold parallel Steel card. I scanned the back, because the front won't scan worth a crap. It's a shame too, because I peeled off the stupid 'protective' coating on the front.

1992 Upper Deck Deion Sanders SP

Prime Time! Falcons and Braves! How could I not pick this card?

Trick or Treat II - Electric Boogaloo

After getting my pants scared off by SlangKo's Halloween Contest cards, I figured there was nothing in Tribe Cards' Trick or Treat package that could phase me anymore. It couldn't possibly be any worse than last year, could it? I mean, Sandy frickin' ATE Bruce Hurst! Let's open 'er up and see what we got.

Oh Lord, the first card is an Indian. Here we go again...

Ah, Kenny Lofton. Well, nothing wrong with that, Kenny's pretty cool. Wait... Oh No!

Kenny's got that crazy look in his eyes again! Kenny noooooooooooooooo

Oh wait, I forgot. Kenny's the devil. Well, at least in Atlanta he is. If you are the guy that came over in the trade that sent David Justice away you better expect some backlash. Let's see what other horrifying things are in this package.

Aaaaah! A POG! Quick, someone throw a heavy metal disc at this thing. What the hell is a Daemonite anyway? Is that what happens when a daemon enters the Earth's atmoshpere, burns up and crashes to the ground? Huh. I'm not too far off. Looks like a bootleg Xenomorph to me. Anybody heard of this critter before?

Wildstorm comics. That's one of those independent companies that popped up in the early '90s comic boom which quickly turned to bust. I think they got gobbled up by DC and put out some good stuff from Warren Ellis later on. It's a nice POG, I'll say that, there's some chrome stuff over on the side that probably would be utterly destroyed the first time this was used in an actual game of POGs. That's enough of that, let's see some cards!

Oh noes! Greg Maddux is stuck on a tiny island in the middle of a raging flood and it's hailing baseballs and two mutant Gojira-sized Cy Young awards are about to attack! And Greg looks BORED. Because Greg Maddux is the most cold blooded badass on the planet. I wish he'd come back and pitch for a couple more decades.

Frightening things about this card:
1) The amount of money the Braves could have ended up paying Andruw.
2) The amount of money the Dodgers did pay Andruw.
3) That he will likely be a free agent again this offseason.
4) That the Braves need a cheap power-hitting righty outfielder so badly that be might end up being a good fit.

Aaaaah! I skeered myself! I mustn't think about such things. Next card.

Hm. Glavine. So what's scary about this card? I guess you could pretend those lavender splotches on either side of Glavine are The Blob closing in to munch on poor Tom. The embossed stitches could be seen as teeth about to gnaw on his bones. Tom could actually try to make another comeback next season... *shudder* Scared myself again.

Nothin' scary 'bout Dave Justice! The scary thing is how many 1991 Score cards I have. I bought packs right and left back then and when I almost had the entire set I went and bought the factory set for some reason. I have enough of these cards for about four sets now. Why? I have no idea.

Of course that means I have lots 'o Chippah rookies. I think this one is univerally regarded as his worst rookie card, which of course means I have enough of them to wallpaper my garage.

There were four other cards in the package, but they weren't scary at all and are in fact awesome enough to deserve their own post.

Yay! I got treated and not tricked! Thanks David! The scariest card in the pack was just Kenny. Nothing wrong with Kenny. Of course the Braves have never won a World Series since they traded off Marquis Grissom. Maybe it's the Curse of Kenny?

Naaaah, nothing scary about Kenny Lofton.

Ultra Utley

You didn't think I forgot about Mr. Superman didja?

What's he got, about 47 home runs so far this series?

Let's hope he saved a few more for the Bronx. Better yet, let's hope he gives a couple of those homers to Howard.

(they're still gonna lose, I am a shattered and broken man filled with despair)

Anybody else like jersey relics that has the stitching marks going through them?

Boo!

WOOOOOO FRANKENSTEIN!

That's right Frankie, you walk out on that golddigger! You're free as a bird, baby! Ain't nobody gonna tie down the Stein!

In related news this:

Trick or Treat!

You know Who has been at it again. He's already tricked people, the cad! What horrors will the Vincent Price of the blogging world have for yours truly? You shall find out tomorrow morning once I've built up the nerve to open the package. Till then, enjoy this unexpectedly philosophical musing from the back of a 1961 Leaf Spook Stories card:



You know, now that I come to think of it, I don't believe in people...

Card of the Week - World Series edition

Since this is my World Series Card of the Week post, I really need to write this post before there is no more World Series. Unfortunately, I am being distracted. Did you know Google Chrome is now available for Ubuntu? A highly unstable developer version, hooray! Plus there's positive thoughts to think. I need some positive thoughts since the Falcons vs. New Orleans game preempted my favorite TV show. Egad. Oh yeah, the actual World Series is going on right now. After that obnoxious Avatar intro on Fox last night, I'm with Cole Hamels on this one. Let's just get it over with already. Here's some good old timey World Series, before Fox even existed.

Lew Burdette and Bobby Shantz, facing off in the 1957 World Series. Lou, I mean Lew, got the better of Bobby as he won three complete game victories against the Yanks in the Series. Bobby was in his first year with the Yankees after being involved in a ridiculous 13 player deal between New York and the Kansas City A's that also saw Clete Boyer become a Yank. Bobby won the AL MVP in 1952 with a 24-7 record for Philadalhia. He went 13-26 for the A's the next four years and was finally dumped to the Yankees in '57. Bobby had a bit of a comeback in New York, and went 11-5 with a league leading ERA. Shantz finished up his career as a pretty good relief pitcher for the Yanks, Cardinals, Colt 45's, Pirates, Cubs and Phillies. Lew and Bobby faced off as startes in game 2 of the series and met again in game 7 as Shantz came in to relieve Don Larsen. I have a suspicion the real reason Topps put these two on the same card is because 6'2" Burdette looks like a monster next to 5'6" Shantz.



I got this card pretty cheap in that vintage haul a few weeks ago. It's one more hole filled in my 1958 Topps team set that I'll never finish. No, I'm not worried about finding the Aaron. I'll pick up one of those sooner or later. It's that damned Mickey Mantle - Hank Aaron combo card that's going to ruin me. People are absolutely insane about vintage Mantle cards. One of these days I'll find one that a dog chewed up or was put in the bicycle spokes one time too many or that fell behind a cushon in the couch and got all moldy from crumbs. It will still be damned expensive though. I wonder if an A-Rod - Ryan Howard World Series combo card will be as coveted in 50 years?

*sob*

meh
barf

pbbbtth

Per request:

eeccchh

guuuuuh

Now, I like Andy Pettitte. He's a great pitcher who has proven his worth over a long and excellent career.

But if A-Fraud and The First Baseman Who Shall Not Be Named end up winning a World Series, I'm gonna cry.

So good job, Andy, and I hope you never win another World Series game as long as you live in this or any other universe.