allen ginter freakout woooo

I've been informed that I am supposed to be going crazy over Allen & Ginter now. I guess it comes out this week. I was told it was coming out in August, but my information apparently is not reliable. Packs have been popping up in Target supposedly but I haven't seen any.

Honestly, right now cards are about the 99th thing on the "Things I Care A Lot About" list thanks to some recent developments. Every Time I plan to buy a hobby box crazy shit seems to happen. Oh well. I spent much of the evening drinking beer and swiping pics from eBay to distract myself from my problems, so I may as well share my imagized bounty with you all. Warning: There are very, very stupid prices on eBay right now. Like 250 dollars for a code card. and 70 dollars for a card you're supposed to put in the ground. I'm not even going to link them the stupid is so powerful. Here's a preview of the stuff you're going to be seeing non stop on every single blog ever for the next month.

Base

How low can you go? Death Row... what a brother knows

Base cards is base cards you know what this be.

Stupid Base

Yeah this is an actual base card this year. Normally I'd be all over this card but thanks to The Fates trolling the hell out of me this year I'm in an extremely grouchy mood right now. Bullwinkle's 'special' cousin is not amusing me at the moment.

Minis

You know what minis look like, they're smaller versions of the original. The black borders are way different this year though.

It took me a while to process that border. That's some design right there, folks.

Squeezing out the mini base cards again this year are the mini inserts.

Animals in Peril

30 cards, ordered from least to most endangered. Or was that the Goodwin Champions insert set? Christ, Topps and Upper Deck have become Pixar vs. Dreamworks and are copying all each other's stuff. I'm guessing this is the 'easy' insert set to find. There's no odds on anything yet as far as I know. The other mini inserts are:

Fabulous Face Flocculence

Basically, beards. Unannounced so crooks are trying to get $99 a pop of them on the scamBay.

Flora of the World

How about you, Fauna? You wanna? Gimmick card with seeds embedded into the card so you can bury it and then grow a flower and then pick the flower and them press the flower and then send that into PSA so they can laugh in your face. These kind of grow cards are being put into boxes of snack crackers and some yobbo wants 69 bucks for it in an auction.

Fortunes for the Taking

Yet another unannounced insert set. Because Topps is completely incapable of telling us just what the fuck is in their 100 dollar boxes of garbage that we compulsively buy like lunatics. It looks nice. It's about stolen treasure. Whoop-de-damn-do. I'd rather have an accurate sell sheet.

Step Right Up

Circus stuff. Ok this one does amuse even the grouchiest of mes. You don't know how bad I want to MSPaint this thing.

Uninvited Guests

Ghosts are cool I guess. Well, they were until all those cheesy Ghost Hunter shows started popping up on the Discovery and History channels. The one from England with the horribly fake psychic was cringeworthy. I still can't understand why I watched every episode. Oh, yeah, I'm an easily entertained idiot. The one with the teenagers running around abandoned hospitals at night was pretty good bad good too.

Portaits of Penultimacy

This insert set features the second guy to do a lot of famous stuff. This one is cool as many of us will recognize the subjects. I had about 10 trades lined up with this guy that I never quite pulled the trigger on last year because I got too busy. If you want this card you'll be waiting for a while. The auction listing lists it for $250 because it's a "Ginter Code" and all you freeloaders can't see the back because YOU GOTTA PAY

Speaking of code cards....

They have stupid interlocking designs on the corners or something and the sellers are all "YOU NO SEE CODE WITHOUT PAY" and blocking the edges on a lot of them. Whatevs.

There's also a surprising amount of large sized inserts this year, and most of them look pretty good.

The Ascent of Man

These sumbitches look freaking FANTASTIC. This may end up being the insert set of the year.

Floating Fortresses

Yay boats. Original nineteenth century cards features lotsa boats, so I approve.

Minds that Made The Future

 NERDGASM

I may have to complete this set.

Hometown Heroes

I think these are the one a pack inserts but I'm not really sure about that. I hope they are, they fit in well with the previous one a packers, and there's 100 freaking cards in the set so it's impossible to complete otherwise.

Baseball highlight Sketches

The old standby insert from Ginter. I'm glad that the artists who hate me now because You Know Who made me the poster boy for National Chicle criticism when I was just trying to be funny about the Chipper Ruth card are still getting some commissions from Topps.

Ok, fuck all that bullshit, the SUPA MOJO is the only thing that is important about cards any more according to the extremely intelligent and cultured souls on YouTube, so let's show off the only ones I've found so far.

Cabinet Box Topper

Actually, I haven't found any of the box toppers on eBay just yet which leads me to believe that everything on there right now is Target retail stuff. So in lieu of MOJO, here's a lady in a rowboat.

Ok, dirty trick, I know. Promise MOOOOJOOOOO and give you some old broad on a moldy ass card. Here's your precious MOJO that are the only things of any value in any contemporary card set and will most likely be shoved in dollar boxes in a couple years.

Jersey

Auto

Bat

Enjoy the preview, it's probably my last post until I pick up my box of 2011 Ginter. If that experience is anything like picking up my box of 2009 Heritage you may be waiting a loooong time.