BILLY THE KID #116 FEBRUARY 1976
FUCJK YEAH CHARLTON COMICS. NORMALLY I AM NOT A FAN OF WESTERN COMICS OR WESTERNS IN GENERAL. WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID I WAS BIG INTO PLAYING COWBOYS AND INDIANS (MOST LIKELY INFLUENCED BY DENNIS THE MENACE COMICS THAT USED THE TROPE CONSTANTLY) AND HAD A LEATHER COWBOY HAT AND TOY GUN AND EVERYTHING. ONE DAY I INSISTED I WATCH ONE OF MY GRANDFATHER'S WESTERNS ON TV WITH HIM AND THE COWBOYS STARTED SHOOTING THE INDIANS AND I WAS ALL WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT I THOUGHT THE COWBOYS AND INDIANS WERE FRIENDS*** AND PRETTY MUCH RAGEQUIT ALL THINGS WESTERN AFTER THAT. I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE COVER. IT LOOKS AMAZING BUT THAT HORSE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THOSE TWO IDIOTS' BULLSHIT
THAT BEING SAID I FOUND THIS COMIC AT THE FLEA MARKET FOR COVER PRICE AND COULDN'T PASS IT UP. CHARLTON IS REALLY GOOD FOR SOME BATSHIT CRAZY ADS AS WELL
100 FREE DECALS FOR 50 CENTS
HERE'S A GOOD SUMMARY OF MOST OF THE FREE CRAP YOU CAN GET FROM A COMIC BOOK. YOU GET A *FREE MODERATELY COOL ITEM IN EXCHANGE FOR *POSTAGE AND HANDLING CHARGES, RECEIVING A CATALOG WITH MORE GARBAGE YOU CAN BUY FROM THEM, AND YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS ON FILE THAT THEY CAN SELL TO OTHER MARKETERS SO THEY CAN PROFIT OFF YOU EVEN IF YOU SON'T EVENTUALLY BUY SOMETHING. SEEING HOW THESE DECALS ARE ALSO FILLED WITH PEACE LOVE KISSING AND OTHER HIPPIE CRAP I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS GOT FORWARDED TO THE FBI AS WELL TO PLACE IN THEIR 'POTENTIAL DEVIANTS' WALL OF FILING CABINETS
6 FREE PATCHES FOR 50 CENTS
THESE SUPER VALUE GUYS REALLY WANT YOU TO GET THEIR CATALOG. NO PICTURE ON THIS AD BUT THESE DESIGN DESCRIPTIONS ARE FOUND ALL OVER OTHER ADS FOR T-SHIRTS, POSTERS AND SUCH. I'D PROBABLY BE SUCKERED INTO BUYING THE PATCHES OVER THE DECALS SIMPLY FOR THE CHANGE TO GET A BOOTLEG CRUMB KEEP ON TRUCKIN' PATCH TO IRON ONTO MY JEAN JACKET. ALSO LIKE THE DECAL OFFER, YOU CAN DOUBLE YOUR ORDER FOR ONLY A QUARTER MORE BUT NO COMBINING DECALS AND PATCHES SINCE THEY'RE DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS
FREE INSTRUCTIONS FOR HOW TO GET SCAMMED FOR THE PRICE OF A STAMP
HERE YOU CAN GET A FREE PAMPHLET ON HOW TO WRITE SONGS AND HELPFULLY ENOUGH A RECORDING STUDIO THAT DESPERATELY WANTS TO EXAMINE YOUR SONGS FOR FREE. HERE'S A GREAT ARTICLE THAT EXPLAINS THE WORKINGS OF THE SCAM AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE SITE IS KINDA FASCINATING. AS A FILTHY HIPSTER MUSIC SNOB THE IDEA OF FINDING A RECORD THAT LITERALLY NO ONE HAS HEARD OUTSIDE OF THE COMPOSER AND MAYBE THEIR ANNOYED FAMILY. UNLIKE MOST OF THE OTHER FREE* STUFF THESE GRIFTERS ARE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO FOOT THE POSTAGE BILL THEMSELVES
88 FREE MINI POSTERS FOR 50 CENTS
THE SUPER VALUE TRIFECTA. MINI VERSIONS OF POPULAR POSTERS. WELL POPULAR HIPPIE POSTERS I SUPPOSE. THESE DUDES SELL JEWELRY, INCENSE, RECORDS AND CANDLES SO I GUESS THEY ARE LASER FOCUSED ON THEIR DEMOGRAPHIC. I WISH THESE CATALOGS WEREN'T SO HOPELESSLY EPHEMERAL, I'D LOVE TO FLIP THROUGH ONE TO SEE ALL THE COOL OLD SHIT. I ALSO WONDER HOW MINI THESE MINI POSTERS ARE. KINDA THINKING THEY ARE PROBABLY POSTAGE STAMP SIZED
FREE COIN GRAB BAG FOR $2.98-$4.98 PLUS SHIPPING
THIS ONE'S EVEN MORE BULLSHITTY THAN THE ACTUAL SCAM. PUT FREE IN ITALICS AND THEN CHARGE MONEY FOR THE DAMN THING. EVEN THE STUPID CATALOG COSTS 50 CENTS IF YOU DON'T BUY ANYTHING. THAT BEING SAID I LOVE OLD-ASS COINS AND OBVIOUSLY I GOTTA GET THE SUPER-SIZE BAG FOR $5.48. I'D BUY 4 AND GET ONE FREE! IF I WASN'T BROKE ASS BROKE. THANKFULLY THE PRINTING IS SO ROTTEN ON THIS AD THE ADDRESS IS ALMOST UNREADABLE
NOT FREE MINIATURE DRAGONS FOR THREE BUCKS
OK SO THIS ONE IS 1) NOT FUCKING FREE AND 2) A TERRIBLE IDEA
BUT MINIATURE CHIBI DRAGON FRIEND
I MEAN IT'S PROBABLY A SICKLY AXOLOTL BUT I CAN DREAM OF TEENSY DRAGONS
FREE RECORDS FOR A DOLLAR PLUS POSSIBLE EMPLOYMENT?
I MEAN, THIS HAS TO BE ANOTHER SCAM, DOESN'T IT? UNFORTUNATELY NATIONAL RECORD REVIEWERS IS PRETTY MUCH UNGOOGLABLE DUE TO THE DUAL MEANING OF RECORDS SO I CAN'T FIND ANY INFORMATION ON THIS. CAN'T FIGURE OUT THE CON THOUGH, THEY SEND YOU RECORDS FOR YOU TO REVIEW AND THEN ??? PROFIT? MAYBE THEY END UP CHARGING YOU FOR THE RECORDS SOMEHOW. MAYBE YOU END UP IN SOME EXPLOITATIVE EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. MAYBE IT'S A WAY FOR RECORD COMPANIES TO GET RID OF A BUNCH OF SHITTY UNSOLD COUNTRY ALBUMS AND WRITE IT OFF AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE. WHATEVER IT IS I DON'T TRUST IT
FREE POWERFUL MUSCLES FOR A DIME
ANOTHER UNREADABLE AD. TELL ME THAT PO BOX NUMBER, I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU. AT LEAST THIS ONE AIN'T THAT EXPENSIVE. TEN CENTS FOR THEM TO SEND YOU A BROCHURE THAT TELLS YOU TO DO EXERCISES IS ONE OF THE BETTER VALUES IN THIS COMIC
FREE RARE STAMP FOR A DIME
THIS SCAM I KNOW. THEY SEND YOU A 'FREE' STAMP AND ALSO A BUNCH MORE ON 'APPROVAL' AND THE ONLY KIND OF PERSON WHO FALLS FOR THIS IS ALREADY A DEGENERATE COLLECTOR SO THEY KEEP THE NON-FREE STUFF AND GET GUILTED INTO PAYING FOR IT AND BUYING MORE STUFF. HAPPENED TO ME WITH A 'FREE' INDIAN HEAD PENNY SENT WHEN I WAS ABOUT 11. I WAS A TERRIBLE LITTLE SHIT THOUGH AND KEPT EVERYTHING AND DIDN'T PAY. DUE TO COLLECTORS BEING RIDICULOUS HOARDERS IT LOOKS LIKE SOME OF THESE PAMPHLETS SURVIVED!
FREE FIGHTING SECRETS FOR 25 CENTS
CONSIDERING THERE ARE MANY OTHER KARATE AND MARTIAL ARTS BOOKLETS ADVERTISED IN COMICS THAT COST FIVE DOLLARS OR EVEN MORE GETTING A FREE* BROCHURE WITH MURDER TIPS FOR ONLY A QUARTER AIN'T SUCH A BAD DEAL REALLY
OH GOD WE JUST SPENT ABOUT TWELVE BUCKS ON A BUNCH OF TRASH AND A DRAGON WHEN WE WERE ALREADY BROKE. MAYBE THIS CAN HELP
FREE TRAINING SERVICE FOR THE PRICE OF A STAMP
GET CAREER TRAINING IN LAW ENFORCEMENT OR BROADCASTING. COLUMBIA SCHOOL OF BROADCASTING I'VE HEARD OF, NOT SURE ABOUT THE NATIONAL TRAINING COLLEGE. THE LAW ENFORCEMENT INDUSTRY IS BOOMING RIGHT NOW, BROADCASTING NOT SO MUCH. GOTTA PAY FOR HIPPIE PATCHES AND DECALS SOMEHOW THOUGH, TIME TO GET STUDYING
*** PARAPHRASED
3 comments:
I spent 5 minutes yesterday looking a review video on YouTube for that remote controlled Batmobile. Glad to hear you maxed out your credit card purchasing the remaining stock. :) Can you please, please, please write up a review? I'll send you some FREE cards.
@Fuji I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER AND NOW HAVE 47 SHOT GLASSES FEATURING FAT BASTARD
Dang it. You're the bastard who bought all of them!
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