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Thursday, August 27, 2009

It Came From The Oddball Box - part 3: Potential Blasphemy

You people have been steadfastly ignoring the non-sports posts so far, but I have a feeling I'll get angry comments on this one.

Ok, let me explain this card... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. You see folks, I don't like Kiss.

Just never got into 'em I guess. They were really big when I was a kid, and I sure knew of them but I was far more into Star Wars at the time and my mom was listening to stuff like The Beatles and the Stones and Floyd and my uncle had a Zeppelin LP lying around amongst the Zappa and I never did really hear Detroit Rock City at an impressionable age. I mean, like, I knew who they were and all. I recognized the makeup. I knew the names... Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and The Other Guy. I could even point out Simmons in a crowd. They just didn't appeal to me all that much as a kid and when I started listening to '70s rock designed to make your parents mad I preferred The Sex Pistols and the Buzzcocks and The Ramones and The Damned. So that's why I used this Kiss card of, um, Not Gene Simmons as a divider for my Topps Football card sets. Yeah, football. I used about 8 inches of tape on the thing too. I really just didn't care a flip about that card.

Ok, I know some of you out there Luuuuuuurve Kiss and to you, I apologize. The 20 year old tape is now permanently stuck and the one part where I tried to rip it off about a decade ago took some of the card with it. I just really didn't like this card.

It may be because of the back. There is a puzzle piece on the back and when I looked at it after all these years... well, have any of you seen the episode of Red Dwarf where Kryten becomes human, takes photos of a part of his anatomy and gives them to Lister to see if it's supposed to look like that? That was my reaction.

What the smeg?

Seriously, why the hell would I want a card with a hairy gut hanging over a freakin' plate armor codpiece on the back? Ugh. Sorry. Ijustdon'tlikeKiss.


maine mariner said...

Great post :).

I picked up a pack of these cards back in the day and what turned me off was that the gum tasted like s$%^ and the cards had a very funky smell.

That was it for me.

Doc said...

Are you sure that funky smell wasn't the gum but was from Paul Sta... er... "that other guy's" cod piece?

I too have a few dozen of these gems lying around, next to my Mork & Mindy, Close Encounters, Jaws and Original Battlestar Galactica cards.

maine mariner said...

LOL. I knew after I wrote that down that a comment would be made.

I threw that one underhanded!

MattR said...

hahahahahaha oh dear. My first hour is about to start and I had to explain to a couple of my students why I was laughing. Good thing I didn't have the LCD projector turned on. :)

capewood said...

I never liked Kiss either.

jackplumstead said...

Kiss no way.
Red Dwarf-Big Fan!

thewritersjourney said...

Guys, KISS is the hottest band in the land. They are teh greatest evah!!! The new album is gonna be da BOMB! Even without Ace and Peter they rock (but Ace is always the ace)!

And I was actually being half-serious up there. I'm a huge KISS (all caps, fellas) fan, but I know some don't like them. I don't understand or comprehend how some don't like them, but I know it to be a fact.

But if I ever see another defaced KISS card on this site, I might have to hunt you down.