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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Obligatory New Year's Resolution Post

Come at me, bro


 It's 2012. Bring it on, Mayans. New Year means you make resolutions. This way you can get fed up and break them by MLK day and still feel like you've accomplished something. And sometimes... by complete accident... a freak trick of the light... weather anomalies... nepotism and intrigue... you actually stick to one and better yourself! Hey, it's bound to happen one of these eons. One of my own resolutions is to stop being such a cynical bastard (yeah, right) so I've got a few resolutions of my own. Time to jump into the middle of the storm of 2012 COLLECTING GOALS posts that have littered the sidebar in the past few days. Where to start? Ok, cards. Let's start there.

2012 Collecting Resolution:

NO BUYING WAX. 

Come at me, bro
I've given up Wax for Lent. I know that's a couple months away but I'm starting early. One of my Collecting Laws has always been "Wax is for suckers". Time to start living by my own rules. And wax is for suckers. It's no different from going to Vegas. Even if you search packs or count cards the house always wins. The fact that you are even in Vegas at all means the house has already won. Same with packs. You can have the hit of your life... it just makes you want to rip more packs right away. Ripping packs and throwing craps is fun as hell. Until you end up in the gutter surrounded by empty wrappers with a pit boss wearing brass knuckles looming over you. Have I mixed these metaphors thoroughly enough?

What I'm saying is I'm going cold turkey. No buying wax for me. I'd join Waxaholics Anonymous but I really like reading Canuck's blog. I know my weakness though and I'm not being unrealistic about this. I have unopened Bowman Heritage and O-Pee-Chee blasters as well as almost a full box of 1988 Score in reserve for when I get the junk sickness. I'll actually even get to buy a few packs here and there too since I've got a hostage exchange probram with Jack Plumstead in the UK trading hardball packs for football (real football, not handegg) packets. That'll be tough and will likely cause a relapse. Especially when 2012 Flagship comes out. I'll tough it out though, I don't want our deprived collecting bretheren overseas to suffer just because I'm trying to better myself. Expect a desperate post in March begging to trade off vintage and relics for retail packs of 2012 Topps.

2012 Collecting Goals:

Let's keep this simple, stupid.

#1 - Keep building those Vintage sets

Especially 1953, 1960, 1965 and 1972. Completing 1979 Topps should also be done by the end of the month. I'm pretty close to 1976 now too. If I spent a tenth on vintage that I blew on Wax I'd have more sets done by now.

#2 - Work on them Braves Team Sets

Not just the pre-1980 ones, although that's going to be a focus. My entire Braves collection is a disaster and I need to at the bare minimum get all my 1981-2012 Topps team sets in pages. I know I pretty much have all of them, sometimes 2 or 3 times over, I just need to get organized.

#3 - ORGANIZE YO SHIT

I honestly don't know where 90% of my collection even is. Oh, I see the friggin boxes everywhere, I just don't know that the hell is in 'em. Put a gun to my head and order me to find me 2008 Topps box, and I'll just pull the trigger myself in despair. I don't need to accumulate piles of 2012 product when I've got all this stuff to be sorted out first. I finally got the  shelves and tables and places to put the crap set up last year, time to organize.

#4 - Start getting rid of some of this crap! 

Seriously, anyone who has provided me their address in the past 5 years is in real danger of getting a random package of stuff this year. I have GOT to get rid of stuff.

#5 - STOP BUYING JUNK!

Dime boxes are fun as hell. Bargain hunting is a rush. But see goal #4. I GOT TOO MUCH CRAP. Time to stop buying cheap crap and start going for the high dollar cards. The Sports Memories of Oklahoma show is going to be in the ATL in a couple of weeks and I may end up spending as much money as I normally do at the show, but walking out with 4 or 5 cards instead of 40 or 50. this goes for sets too. If I want a set of Topps, just buy the friggin set. If I like an insert set, just buy the damn thing. Casebreakers on eBay got some good deals.

LIFE GOALS/RESOLUTIONS:

Keep drawing every day.

Come at me, bro
Keep learning new techniques - I've never painted with oils, watercolors or gouache. Try it out, worst thing that can happen is that it will suck like oil pastels. Those things are just stinky crayons. blech. But now I know they're stinky crayons...

NO MORE FRETTING ABOUT DOING STUFF. If I wanna try something just do it for fuck's sake. I sweat over painting a goddamn technicolor pony for months and it was easy and fun and I enjoyed it. The hell is wrong with me. Quit worrying you bastard!

Exercise 30 minutes a day. I have a job and a commute and kids and carpool lines and etc, so 30 minutes a day ain't gonna happen. 210 minutes a week might. Surely I can handle 900 minutes a month. What's that, 15 hours a month of just wandering around? I can do that. Ok, fine. By May I'll probably be at least three days behind but I'll run in the red if I have to. If I can do it with my finances, I can do it with my exercise. It's January third and I'm only 20 minutes behind so far! I'm doing pretty good!

Come at me, bro
Quit worrying about politics. Everyone hates congress but they'll vote in all the incumbents during the primaries. Screw the presidential race. It's gonna be Obama vs. Romney. That shit was decided in 2008. All this stuff going on now is just a miniseries for the cable news channels. It's all just bullshit ratings at this point. STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT YOU IDIOT. I'M YELLING AT ME NOT YOU. IF YOU HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM AND NEED ME TO YELL AT YOU THEN BY ALL MEANS CO-OPT MY YELLING IF IT HELPS.

Quit worrying about the Hall of Fame. It's been fucked forever and the writers will will never vote everyone who deserves it into the Hall. Dale Murphy's off the ballot forever this year and next year all the moralists didn't vote for him will scream about steroids and not vote for Barry. Then the Veteran's committee will put 'em both in the same year just to make the induction ceremony after party reaaaaaaaly awkward. Screw it, it's worthless to argue about it. Joe Posnanski sums it up nicely.

Try something new that I never thought I'd like in a million years. Keep doing this until I find something I do like using this method. For Pete's sake, I just watched My Little Pony in order to tune out Glee on the television. Never thought I'd do that in 2010.

Come at me, bro
Become a perfect SuperBeing, a rising pinnacle of human evolution and use my powers to eradicate all corruption, poverty and hatred in the world and bring about a new era of humanity based on love, tolerance and using Science! to dominate and subjugate all who oppose me.

Ok, ok. There always has to be one unrealistic resolution on the list so you can blow it off when you get frustrated instead of sacrificing a more realistic goal. I mean seriously... no wax at all? All year?? Like that'll happen.


Oh yeah. Also: Booze and ponies. That resolution I can probably keep.

9 comments:

Eric L said...

I'm assuming the mustache picture is your way of hinting at me that you want to join me for Movember2012 but are afraid to ask. No worries. You're in. I'll even see if the guys will let you skip the background check portion of the entrance interview, since we both know they'll never be able to see past the Ponies addiction.
Good luck with your 2012 goals!

Play at the Plate said...

Whatever you do, don't stop blogging. It's pure entertainment for the masses. Ponies AND beer? It's all starting to make sense.

Captain Canuck said...

I can't tell you how odd it is to see the voices in your head written out on somebody else's blog........

count me as 'Ditto"

night owl said...

I stopped worrying about politics and Hall of Fame voters years ago (altho sometimes I get involved in the Hall of Fame argument just to get everyone going -- it's a little bit fun).

But kicking the wax habit? My nurse at the old folks home better know the route to Wal-mart by heart. And if she gets me any Bowman, I'm going to scream old-person abuse!!!!

carlsonjok said...

Did you have to show old Frothy?

cynicalbuddha said...

Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, Mustache ride, and Mustache ride.

dayf said...

Eric L: It is my understanding that you must shave before participating in Movember. Not shaving for any reason. Ok, I would shave for one reason. If I could play Peter Griffin in a live action version of Family Guy.

PAP: Confound these Ponies! They drive me to drink!

carlsonjok: Who else more accurately represents the current state of the Republican Party?

Everyone: Seriously? no one recognizes Nietzsche?

Scott Sawyer said...

One of my employees put up a pony calendar. I told her to read this blog. :)

thewritersjourney said...

Hey Dave, have you seen this My Little Pony story correction from the New York Times?

http://www.neatorama.com/2012/01/05/best-nyt-correction-ever/