I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ok, let's try this again. The best card I got in 2011

This was supposed to be posted last night - and it was - but due to a scheduling screwup it posted with a date of late December so let's try this again with some extra content.

This one came from Jeremy over at No One's Going to Read this Blog. This card probably impacted the eventual course of my life more than anything else last year other than actual important things like family and work and such. Emothions went a little haywire over this card, which I received in the middle of my 'not posting' period early last year. I went from amazed by the card, to impressed by the talent to create it, to jealous of that talent, to depressed because I couldn't do something like this, to defiant against the idea that I couldn't do something like this, to inspired to draw Al Hrabosky, then some doodles, then Woody Allen and Larry David looking at badly drawn naked women (don't ask) then... ponies. Not sure what (if anything) I traded for this, but Jeremy is on the sketch card list, just as soon as I figure out something to draw that comes close to this.

Jeremy saw the post and commented. In it he said " I still can't draw Larry David and I've spent hours trying to get him right." Well Jeremy, don't feel bad, I can't draw him either! Since it was mentioned (I told you not to ask) I scanned my first ever sketch page drawn in the wee hours of the morning after having imbibed in several brewed beverages. Basically I was wasting some time in the interwebs and found some interesting pictures on (NSFW!) ffffound! (I just told you there were pictures of naked girls on that site so be careful clicking it!) and decided it would be neat to try to draw copies of a few of them. This was sometime after the Al Hrabosky sketch card but before I started watching ponies so Juney-Julyish I guess. I MSPainted some bikinis on the girls so now it's no worse than some of the stuff you'll see on some of the more disreputable blogs out there. Look if you dare.

I drew this stuff in this order: Creepy Woody Allen, nekkid girl on the right, topless girl on the left, Horrified Larry David. Now what can we learn from this picture?

  1. I can't draw hands for crap
  2. I love pretty girls and cranky Jewish comedians
  3. Six months ago I had have no idea what I was am doing
  4. I cannot draw hands
  5. I like drawing men's faces and girl's bodies
  6. This makes me a sexist pig and Dinged Corners, A Cardboard Problem, Things are Funner Here and McCann Can Triple probably just totally stopped following me and I don't blame them 
  8. I don't know what the hell happened to those shoulders

Since this picture I've drawn a hell of a lot more ponies than girls and gotten marginally better at both. Ponies are way easier to draw than girls. Not as lumpy for one thing. I don't feel creepy drawing cartoons either, even though the big joke right now is that Bronies are a bunch of gay autistic loser rule 34 loving manchildren*. Which is just ridiculous, because EVERYONE on the internet is a bunch of gay autistic loser rule 34  loving manchildren. It's no big thing. But wait... HERE COMES THE IRONY. Now that I inexplicably feel kinda squicky about drawing nekkid wimmen (which probably is the sole reason about 90% of artists even get in to this business) my wife has actually found a local museum with a program where artists can come and sketch live models. Live nude models. Live nude female models. Live nude female models what are not my wife. And my wife - specifically the one I'm married to right now - suggested I go to this. She's practically encouraging it. God as my witness I have no idea what to do. I think I'mma go draw Larry David as a pony.

*yes, I've seen the New York Times thing over 9000 times.


Nachos Grande said...

I've seen a few of those art models in my day (my wife was an art minor in history so I was in the art building quite a bit) - your wife has nothing to worry about I'm sure...

Derek Hill said...

If there was a like button, I would have clicked it. Since there wasn't I decided to spend infinite more time typing this. Poor me.

Otherwise, great job following a passion.

AdamE said...

Don't cover up the boobs and no one will notice the hands.

Slangon said...

Speaking of ponies, I'm sure you've seen this link, but I figured I'd offer it up, just in case:


Captain Canuck said...

I've been called worse.....

Fuji said...

Female models? Looks like I need to start taking art lessons.

dayf said...

I absolutely mean disreputable as a complement.

Jeremy said...

I would've commented earlier but I was checking Salad Hands. Pretty cool animation.

I agree with AdamE though. I like your naked ladies. They have a nice form. It's really hard to draw hands sometimes. Jack Kirby drew the coolest hands. You have to remember that the fingers are all different sizes. I usually just hide them behind something.

Also about the art model thing: sometimes those "models" ain't so hot. I have to warn you, occasionally you'll run into a naked dude. The local place I go has a guy that runs it and if no ladies show up he's the one that models. That can be a little uncomfortable the first few times.