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Friday, May 30, 2008

Fresh 2 U - Sid Bream

Now if this were any other baseball player on the planet, I would be fairly certain that was a big honkin' screwdriver that Sid Bream was holding. This card would be more like a promotion for the Vodka Distillers of America then the Florida Agricultural Commission. But it's Sid Bream so I know for a fact that is 100% pure freshly squeezed orange juice made from oranges picked from a grove growing behind a quiet country church. No shenanigans occurred under Sid's watch, I assure you. Sid's one of those straight and narrow guys all the way. When you hassle him for an autograph while standing in line at Burger King, he's the type of guy who gladly signs, adds a bible verse or two to the signature, chats with you for a few minutes, buys you lunch and talks to the manager and convinces him to give you a job. The manager's job. Clean living all the way for Sid. You can't beat out a Barry Bonds throw to home plate if your head is all messed up from a stadium cup sized alcoholic beverage. Seriously, how big is that freakin' cup?? There's like three trees worth of oranges squeezed in that thing. Orange juice is good for you and all, but two gallons is a bit much. I'm beginning to wonder about these Florida Agriculture folks, I'm not sure their intentions are altogether good. I'm not worried about Sid though. He shared that OJ with the rest of the team, and even let the photographer have his portion because he looked hot and thirsty after shooting all day. That's just the kind of guy he is.

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