I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I fibbed - FOR JERRY

This post was supposed to be of my Obak video box break but, um, er, uhhh, em, yeah. I fibbed.

It's not my fault, I forgot it was the Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction Day. Oh wait, that is my fault. Stupid brain. Well it is Hall day and I had to make note of the fact that my all-time absolute favorite Non-Falcon football player is now a Hall of Famer:

Jerry Rice

Yep, I'm a big fan of Jerry Rice. It's Stockholm Syndrome, really, the man utterly ruined my Falcons so many times that I've learned to love him. Seriously, Google his stats just against the Falcons, I dare you. 99% of all the wide receivers to ever play in the league would LOVE to have those as career stats. Charles Dimry is sitting on his couch somewhere still wondering just what the hell happened. THE MAN IS A GOD. And I like his cards. Here's a few of 'em for your eyeballing pleasure.

1986 Topps Rookie Card

The greatest football card of all time. ALL TIME. And I bought a box of '86 Topps back in the day so I have DOUBLES. Muahaha!

1995 Pacific Crown Die-Cut

The King of wiggetywhack '90s insert cards. Pacific reportedly spent a million bucks on the technology to create these crown cards and they squeezed every last penny's worth out of them.

1991 Fleer All-Pro

I'm going to show off some completely insane inserts in this post so I wanted to have a nice simple old-school Fleer insert just for comparison's sake. Fleer inserts are the comfort food of card collecting. Ok enough of that. INSANITY-HO!

1995 Topps Mystery Finest Refractor

Why is this Finest card a Mystery? Because when you pulled it from a pack there was a black film covering the card so you didn't know who you got. Believe it or not the decision to peel the film caused much consternation and worry amongst the collectors of the day. Pristine Mint or no, a Jerryfractor should NEVER be hidden by nasty black film.

1996 Pinnacle Mint Card + Coin

Jerry's mug should be on REAL currency, but this will do. This is one of the weirder and more fun sets to put together. These boxes are dirt cheap too, I'm tempted to pick one up one of these days.

1999 Pacific Pro Bowl Die-Cuts

Aaaaah, Pacific and their crazy-ass die-cuts. This isn't even going to be that last one you see in this post! This one has a Hawaiian theme for the Pro Bowl. You know, the thing that used to be in Hawaii before Goodell screwed it up. Is it just me or does Goodell seem to be a screwer-upper? I guess we'll find out for sure in 2011.

1999 Pacific Revolution Opening Day Issue

As ridiculous as this card appears at first glance, it actually gets worse... You can barely see it on the scan but there's a stamp on the card that says: "Opening Day Issue * June 20, 1999"If you look carefully you can see it circling the 8 on Jerry's Jersey. The back is serial numbered 43/68 which meant something back then. According to the sticker on the toploader it lives in, this card once booked for $100, if you pay heed to such things....

2000 Donruss Elite Passing the Torch

Aaaah, Donruss. Pure class on cardboard. How I long for those Halcyon days before you got Panini'd. Or Playoff'd for that matter. Oh Donruss... we'll always have the '90s...

(Yes I know this card is from 2000. Yes I know Playoff owned them by this point. Shush. Let me keep my memories)

1999 Pacific Crown Royale Test of Time

Jerry Rice certainly did pass the test of time. This insert, not so much. This is the last Pacific die cut, I swear.

1997 Pinnacle Artist's Proof

Dufex: the single greatest innovation of the '90s.

1999 PowerDeck 

The geeky part of me really wants to run this puppy to see what is on it, but then I look at the back:
Minimum system recommendation:
Pentium processor-based PC
133 Mhz
12 MB of available RAM
Microsoft Windows 95/98
Quicktime 3.0
16 Bit color display monitor (required)
Sound Blaster compatible card
4X or faster CD ROM drive
And I'm scared to have it on the same desk as my PC. I need to dig around in a landfill for a PC to play this thing on.

1995 Score Offense Inc. 

If Fleer is the Mac & Cheese of '90s cards, then Score is the Spaghetti-0s.The gold foil on black looks great on this card even though it doesn't scan worth a flip.

1998 UD Choice Bobblehead

Keeping up the food metaphor, Collector's Choice is baloney on slightly stale Wonder Bread from the Thrift bakery. Not that good, but it'll fill you up. Occasionally, they'd do something awesome like this die-cut punch-out bobblehead card.

1998 Topps Mystery Finest

I had two Mystery Finest refractor cards and I couldn't choose between 'em. So I didn't. Oooooh teh shiiiiiiny....

2002 Donruss Gridiron Kings

A sad reminder that Jerry didn't spend his entire career with the 49ers. Of course a Hall of Fame caliber career with only one team is the exception, not the rule.

Now, that's a whole lotta inserts, but what about the base cards? Base cards are good too! Of course they are that's why there's

The Joy of the Completed Page

Here's a whole page fulla Jerrys. How sweet it is. In order:
1990 Topps 1000 Yard Club
1989 Pro Set
1990 Score All-Pro
1995 Upper Deck
1994 Pinnacle
1992 Pro Set
1989 Topps
1989 Topps 1000 Yard Club
1996 Topps (an extremely underrated set)

Now, even though Jerry is the greatest player of all time, period, no arguing, I said shaddap you, there are some other people going into the hall too. No one of any importance however. Some dude from Florida I think. No one special.

(kidding - I like Emmitt almost as much as I like Jerry. I just like needling the Captain even more...)



Mark Aubrey said...

I was half expecting some of the Brady Bunch to peek out from behind the statues on the 1999 Pacific Pro Bowl Die-Cut card. Or Gilligan.

Captain Canuck said...

Jerry was okay... but lucky. Having two Hall of Fame QB's throw to you and playing the Falcons, Rams, and Raiders twice a year helped.
Chris Carter was better. I can't imagine the numbers Chris Carter or Steve Largent would've put up playing in his spot.

mfw13 said...

Too bad you missed his best card ever, his oversized 1993 GameDay card.

dayf said...

Jerry Rice... Lucky...


I don't have the '93 Gameday card, you may Bip me with it if you like.

Anonymous said...

Oh god, I miss Pacific so much right now...

shoeboxlegends said...

I think I have an Amiga in my garage I can send you if you want to check out that PowerDeck card ;)

Bo said...

What Rice did to your Falcons is nothing compared to what Smith used to do to my Giants.

And I have to disagree with Canuck - I think it is Rice who made Montana and Young better, not the other way around. Still, a WR is too one-dimensional to be the greatest footballer of all time. LT, for example, was dominant against the run, in coverage, and of course in the pass rush.

Victory Trading Cards said...

Huge Cris Carter fan, but Rice was a little more dynamic. I agree with Bo to an extent - Young & Montana were great QBs, but Rice definitely played a role in that.