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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Supa Bowel Repack Ripping Par-tay! First Quarter

Wooooooo!!1 (I've been saying wooo a lot lately) Feetsbawl is on today! The Big Game. I've had a pretty crotchety view of the NFL this year but this is like America's version of a High Holy Day so I have to do something or the government will carry me off for reprogramming. Don't worry, corporate overlords! I've spent the requisite amount on chips, beer, chili, tabasco infused roasted peanuts and other assorted snackable things. I'm even going to celebrate by opening up of of those Wal-Mart Cube Repack Thingies that I love so much. Junk Football wax, bay-bee!! Depending how I feel I might even liveblog the bloody game since I'm sick as a dog and can't actually go out and have fun or anything. Not that the Super Bowl ain't fun! No, the commercials are quite entertaining. The game, well... holy crap it's gonna stink. Cardinals may eat Eagles, but pour some molten iron on the suckers and they're gone in a puff of feather ash.

The box had 10 packs and four cards in it. I'll break this rip up into four quarters to be topical and stuff. Enjoy it, it's likely the last you'll see of football until at least late April. I guess I'll try to predict the game or something with Cardinal and Steeler cards. I'll make up the point scale as I go along.

First Bonus card:
2008 SaGe Hit Paul Raymond Silver Foil parallel

Paul didn't play a down for the Jets this year, but is still on the team with a reserve contract. On the bright side, he has a degree from Brown and a ood future ahead of him on Wall Street. Um... I feel sad now. Note: do not Google "Paul Raymond", Google "Paul Raymond Jets" or "Paul Raymond NFL". You'll get something other than football and you'll likely end up missing the game.

First Pack:
2008 SaGe Hit High Series

89 Josh Johnson
100 Darren McFadden
96 Mike Jenkins
97 Dustin Keller
55 Teammates Brian Brohm and Michael Bush
68 Devin Thomas glossy parallel

We've got a pair of Raiders running backs in here. The both couldn't combine for 1000 yard though. Weirdly, the Keller and Brohm/Bush cards are on much whiter card stock than the other cards. No Steelers or Arizona Cardinals in the pack though. There are Louisville Cardinals in the pack, so I'll give 'zona a field goal.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 3, Steelers 0 after the first drive

Second Pack:
2007 Score

299 Buster Davis RC
315 David Harris RC
222 Marvin Harrison
239 Daryl Smith
297 Dan Bazun RC
345 Mike Walker
174 Eric Barton glossy parallel

Dan Bazun is an awesome name. The first Cardinal shows up in this pack, but Buster was cut and signed on with the Colts as a linebacker. I'll give 'em a safety just because of the name Buster. The Steelers get a field goal because Marvin Harrison has Abs of Steel. Hush, this is Science! Three rookies in a pack is kind of cool but I hate these stupid glossy parallels with a passion.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 5, Steelers 3 after the second drive

Third Pack:
2007 Topps Total

77 Antonio Gates
69 Jonathan Vilma
392 A buncha Lions
545 Aaron Rouse RC
448 Jordan Palmer RC
162 Shaun Phillips/Randall Godfrey Red parallel
AW11 Jason Taylor Award Winner
90 Neil Rackers/Scott Player
168 Isaac Bruce
120 Dunta Robinson/Dexter McLeon
Turn Back the Clock Ad

Ugh, I hate this set. It's ugly and stupid and way too green and is hard evidence that Topps is purposely sabotaging everything I love. Two more Cardinals on one card. Rackers kicks an extra point to make that safety into a field goal, and Player punts this possession. No Stillers in here so they end the first quarter in a deficit.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 3 End of First Quarter

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