Meticulously planned and not at all random Chipper card

And not only Chipper, but Maddux, Klesko and that other guy. You know, the guy trying to make a comeback as the Braves' fourth starter this year. This is an example of Donruss card design Genius that was just too avant garde for the Baseball establishment. This is powerful modern art too controversial for Selig the Square and they lost their card license because of it. This statement is too important to be ignored and must be given to the masses!


Refractor technology on a pitch black background - the beauty of the human soul is ultimately overwhelmed by the darkness that lies therein.

Four players on one card - every man is compartmentalized in a prison of their own making, forever alienated from even the ones with whom they share the most.

Team logos getting just as much space on the card as the players - the ubiquitousness of the overarching corporate culture in today's society overwhelms and ultimately crushes the individual, assimilating it into the collective without regard to the uniqueness of the human spirit.

Card designed specifically to have places for bat and jersey pieces to go - symbolizes out of control materialistic culture while simultaneously reinforcing the economic class structure. Those without material wealth are base and worthless, while one with the slightest bit of superficial adornment is exalted and considered inherently more valuable.

Serial numbered 114/150 - a rebellion against a decimalized society. Do not just say .76, the artist implores, use a fraction instead and hearken back to a more civilized age.

Legalese at the bottom of the card squashing Greg Maddux's photo - Greg Maddux gets no damn respect. None at all. Also, lawyers suck. But mostly the Maddux thing.


I wish I could have had this card when I was 9. Besides the fact that I would have thought it looked like something out of Star Wars, I would have also done without hesitation the one obvious thing that must be done with a card designed this way. Cut the card on the shiny lines so I would have four mini cards with one player each. Plus since each mini card would have the wrong name on the back, they would all be error cards and would be worth a lot of money. A Chipper Jones card with Ryan Klesko's name on the back? Why, that would be worth more than the Bump Wills Blue Jays card! Hooray! Now where's my scissors...