I've been following the blog Ephemera for a long time, and not just because they interviewed me a while back. I like neat old papery stuff. I saw this link pop up on my RSS feed and clicked.
FROM THAT VERY MOMENT MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER
For this was not just any post, this was a post showcasing a trading card set.
ABOUT MONKEYS. MONKEY GENERALS. THAT FOUGHT IN MONKEYLAND WORLD WAR ONE. FEATURED ON FAUX EARLY TWENTIETH CENTURY TOBACCO CARDS. ONE OF THE MONKEYS IS NAMED PRINCE BRUNO VON SNIFFENFINGER. JUMPIN JESUS ON A POGO STICK HOW FREAKIN COOL IS THAT.
tHE SET IS A CREAT- *ahem* The set is a creation of illustrator Chet Phillips who has a pretty neat style. Gotta love the Tikis. Chet sent Ephemera a set to review and I was blown away. Feckin monkey general tobacco cards!!! But I've gone over that already... I clicked on Chet's site and found that he was selling sets on Etsy. I wasn't too familiar with Etsy, but basically it's an online shopping mall for handmade items. I clicked to look at the set, but figured that it's handmade art and stuff so it will probably cost more than I could afford. I clicked and saw that I could have my very own MONKEY FREAKIN GENERAL set for the low, low price of 5 smackers. Five bucks! Plus shipping! REASONABLE shipping, not EBay ripoff shipping! For bellicose turn of the century simians!
I had to get them.
I couldn't not get them.
It was like when I stumbled upon the near set of Dinosaur Attacks at Goodwill that one time. I was so dumbfounded that the Good Lord in his wisdom and mercy would place something so precious and wonderful in my path. It would be an affront to all that is good and cardworthy not to purchase them. So I did.
Oh dear Lord, that was a pain in the ass.
First I had to register for Etsy, with was a breeze. I was in, had my login and everything so I clicked to purchase. Then: THE HORROR.
I friggin HATE PayPal. I logged in tried to pay and #BZZZZT# my old credit card was in there. I tried to change it and #BZZZZT# this card is on file and cannot be used for security reasons. Of COURSE it's on file! It's my card! I used it last time! So now I'm getting panicky until I realized I could bypass PayPal altogether and use my credit card. So I did. #BZZZZT# You have a PayPal login, do you want to use PayPal?
NOIDONTWANTTOUSESTINKINPAYPAL! PAYPAL IS THE DEVIL! I WILL NEVER AGAIN USE PAYPAL AS LONG AS I LIVE! IF PAYPAL INFILTRATES THE FEDERAL RESERVE AND MAKES PAYPAL THE ONE AND ONLY METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PAYPAL MARK OF THE BEAST TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREHEAD TO FUNCTION IN CIVILIZED SOCIETY I WILL GO COMPLETELY OFF THE GRID LIVE OFF OF GRUBS AND BERRIES AND FORM AN UNDERGROUND REBELLION TO OVERTHROW THE EVIL THAT IS PAYFREAKINGPAL!!!!! YOU WON'T LET ME USE MY OWN GODDAMN CREDIT CARD ANYWAY SO IT'S KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE TO USE PAYPAL AT THE MOMENT!
AAAAAAHHHHH! I JUST WANNA BUY MONKEYCARDS!
(I sure am yelly today)
So, no, I didn't use PayPal (whew) and the order appears to have gone through. Once I have warlord monkeys in my hands it will all have been worth it. Once they arrive I'll show off my favorite monkey. In the meantime you can check out prints of the monkeys in question, or if monkeys aren't your thing (although I can't see why anyone wouldn't like monkeys) there's also plenty of other stuff to look through like this Doggie and Kitty Lucha Libre Wrestling set.
But for me, it's all about the monkeys.