I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Monday, September 21, 2009


A viewable reference since 90% of you have no clue what the title references...


Mario chose me as a judge for his Hobby Limerick 1/1 contest. Good thing too, since my poems bombed. He asked me to look over the entries and what I thought were the five best. This was not easy at all, but here is the judge's final decision:

Thick paper with pictures and names.
All our heroes from various games.
It’s a hobby we love,
Fits our needs like a glove.
Sporting legends, big men in small frames.

In our youths to the store we would hasten,
“Rated Rookies” we dreamed of embracing.
Sadly greed’s now the norm,
And I’m sad to inform
That it’s gimmicks that everyone’s chasing.

Steve K:
Beckett’s price guide: as wrong as could be
Filled with value inaccuracy
Though they’re right when they state
re: these printing plates
“No plate pricing due to scarcity”

David Joseph Smith:
There once was a player named Jeter
Who played shortstop next to a diva
While the diva made more
He made fans very sore
And Derek was always the pleaser

With his glove and his legs and his bat
He was the best in the game, that’s a fact
But it wasn’t enough
So he took BALCO’s stuff
And now his head is too fat.

If your poem was not on the list, sorry. I didn't get a single 'like' vote on any of mine so life's tough, chums. You should have taken your chance to butter up the judge when you had the chance. To all our hobby poet laureates: good luck in the drawing!


Mark's Ephemera said...

Buttering up judges is just a fable. The contestants don't buy into it and it is a waste of time for the judge to pander.

Trust me, I know.

AdamE said...

For what it is worth (and it probably istn' much, I admit) but I like Fullbodytransplant's the best.

JoshSamBob said...

Thanks! I'm a fan of FBT's, as well, although I'm partial to the second one above. ;-)

Chemgod said...

Woohoo, I'll take a one in five shot :)

Steve K. said...

I'm honored to have made the cut! I won't say which of these 5 I think is best, but it's definitely not mine...

PunkRockPaint said...

These are all great! Good job selecting the wheat from the chaff.

dayf said...

In the weeding out process, I copied all the ones worthy of making it into the second round to notepad and then picked the five from that document so I wouldn't be swayed by the usernames. Fullbodytransplant actually had two in the top five, so I bumped one and promoted #6 on the list. I actually agonized over leaving that one off so it all worked out for the best. Assuming FBT doesn't hunt me down after admitting this.

--David said...

Man, mine didn't make the cut. I knew all those Alomars would come back to haunt me....