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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Target Twilight Zone

Last week was a really crummy one. I've spent most of the weekend in a daze trying to recover. After I finally got out of a disaster filled day at work I figured I deserved a couple of packs to cheer me up, so I dropped by Target on the way home.

I need to explain my dressing habits here. I work in a business casual office. This means khakis. I pretty much wear khakis all the time now since the only place I can find jeans I like is 40 miles away at an outlet mall. Now that the fashion is to show off your ass crack in jeans, the ones found at local retailers are not for me. So I wear the khakis. My shoes are some black no-slip sneakers. I wanted to go walking after work one night but I was wearing dress shoes. I found these shoes on sale for 8 bucks and got them and since they are all black, they sort of look dressy if you don't stare at them. Here was the mistake: I usually wear polo shirts to work. I like them better than button downs and I'll wear them if I can get away with it. So on Fridays I have this red polo I like to wear. I feel like Tiger on Sunday at the Masters when I wear that to close out a week and lately I have needed that feeling. I think you know where I'm going with this.

So I'm in Target at the card aisle. Not much there. Some A&G, Philadelphia, a few packs of Heritage and some new Topps Basketball was the only stuff I was remotely interested in. I'm halfheartedly pawing at a pack of A&G when a guy comes up next to me wearing the exact same thing as I am. Red shirt, khakis, black shoes. He starts looking through the packs too and I lose concentration with what I'm looking at and decide to go off and maye get a soda instead. Then I see another person dressed like me. And another. HALF THE STORE IS WEARING THE EXACT SAME THING I AM. Which is obvious now, since my Tiger Woods victory outfit is basically the Target Dress Code. Freaked, I get the hell out of there and go to Wal-Mart, where I found this:

Retail Obak!

With Old-timey players!

Retail Goodwin!

With Pretty Clouds!

And some more American Heritage. I got the want list ready to post tomorrow. I'll show off the Goodwin, Obak and AHH later this week, I jsut wanted to get that embarassing story off my chest first.


night owl said...

You're lucky no one asked you if you worked there.

When I'm in Target one of the things I always notice is the number of customers who wear red tops. It's staggering. Try it sometime. Look around and count the number of non-Target employees wearing red. It's very strange. I start to wonder whether people actually put on red to go to Target. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

PunkRockPaint said...

I have gone into Target wearing the red polo uni before too. Freaky.

White Sox Cards said...

When I was working at the Home Depot warehouse last year, the dress code called for red t-shirts. I ended up buying 4 from Penney's right before I got laid off, since they are plain red tees, and I paid for them out of pocket, they have made it into my wardrobe rotation.

If it's even remotely warm out, I wear black jean shorts. If there's snow on the ground, I'll wear black jeans.

There are six Target stores within reasonable driving distance from me and a few around Tracey's house.

I get mistaken for an employee all the time. I get asked questions more times than the employees actually stocking the shelves.

madding said...

I went into Target Saturday night and walked out with exactly one Allen & Ginter pack and nothing else. I don't know what is wrong with me. I looked at the new Topps basketball jumbo packs. I looked at the Goodwin Champion packs - both $1.99 variety and jumbos. I couldn't really buy anything. Plus, Goodwin Champions just seems like a 2009 Goudey Do-Over.