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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thursday night panic atttack

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

I'VE BEEN CRAMMING FOR MY CISCO TEST FOR TWO WEEKS AND I STILL CAN'T GET A 90% ON MY TRANSCENDER TEST!!!!!!

WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THE FREAKING OSI MODEL?!?!!? THERE AIN'T BUT SEVEN LAYERS, IT'S LIKE A DELICIOUS NETWORKING DIP WITH SOUR CREAM AND GUACAMOLE AND CHEESE AND THE TRANSPORT LAYER. THAT MAKES THE PHYSICAL LAYER THE BEAN DIP. NOONE EVER EATS THE PHYSICAL LAYER

EVERY TIME I OPEN THE BOOK THE WORDS MORPH INTO A WEIRD COMBINATION OF RUSSIAN AND KLINGON. THE CHAPTER ON WAN CONNECTIONS MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN A DIRTY LETTER IN TENGWAR THAT JRR TOLKIEN WROTE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND WHILE DRUNK AT 3AM.

OH DEAR GOD I HAVE TO PASS THIS EXAM AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M LEARNING ANYTHING ANYMORE OR JUST MEMORIZING THE PRACTICE TEST ANSWERS

Oh, look, a 1933 Goudey card of Boston Braves pitcher Ed Brandt...

GODDAMN HELL THERE ARE TOO MANY OIS COMMANDS!!! OR IS IT ISO COMMANDS? I DON'T KNOW!!!! ISO, OSI, POE, OPE IMPURIFYING OUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!!!!

WHY DIDN'T I WRITE ALL THOSE COMMANDS DOWN AS I WAS GOING THROUGH THE BOOK??? OR DURING THE CLASS??? AND THE ACRONYMS! OH GOD THE ACRONYMS! LIKE AN ALPHABET SOUP FACTORY GOT BLOWED UP! WHY DIDN'T I MAKE SOME DAMN FLASH CARDS OR SOMETHING??? I'M SO FRIGGIN LAZY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!??

STUPID! STUPID!! I'M SOOO STUPID!!! WHY DIDN'T I STUDY MORE WHEN I HAD THE TIME??? I'VE BARELY LOOKED AT THE LAB BOOK! THE ONLY THING I TRULY GROK IS THE SUBNETTING AND I'M SO PATHETIC AT MATH I SCREW ALL THOSE QUESTIONS UP WITH SIMPLE ADDITION ERRORS!!!

Oh, hey, here's the back. Dig the crazy text. He spends the winter months with his gun. heh.


WHAT AM I GONNA DOOOOO???? EVEN IF I PASS THE TRANSCENDER THE ACTUAL TEST ALWAYS THROWS CRAZY ASS CURVEBALLS!!! I'M GONNA GET TRIPPED UP I KNOW IT! I USED TO BE GOOD AT THIS STUFF BUT NOW I'M OLD AND STRESSED AND TIRED AND CAN'T THINK ANYMORE! AND THIS IS THE EASY TEST!!!! I STILL HAVE TO PASS THE HARD ONE AFTER THIS! OH MAN I GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW TO CHEAT! NO, I CAN'T CHEAT ON A CERTIFICATION EXAM, THEY'LL SEND ME TO GEEK JAIL!!! MAYBE I COULD USE SMART BRAIN DRUGS! NO, THEN I'LL GO TO REAL JAIL! PMITA JAIL WITH CONJUGAL VISITS! AAARGH I GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!! I'M DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!

Canya believe I only need two card to have a complete 1933 Goudey Braves team set now? Yep, I just need Rabbit Maranville and Tom Zachary. Every time I look at Tom Zachary's reprint card in my binder I think his name is Ed Zachary. 'Cause his face looks Ed Zachary like his ass! Ha! I kill me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SO SCREEEEEWWWWEEEEDDD!!!!!!!
BLLLUGGGGHHHERARGHAADJSFNA;IRJFAHHBAXZ,BMNXBCJSFURGH

10 comments:

night owl said...

No habla espanol.

I am soooooooooooo glad I never went back to school. I think all the dreams I have that I'm back in high school cured me of that.

Matt said...

Dude...

dayf said...

I'm stressed.

Mad Guru said...

You could always approach your test like Potsie and the Fonz did.

MattR said...

Having ANY team set in '33 Goudey is quite an accomplishment. It'll be really hard for me to collect a set of my favorite team (Giants).

shanediaz82 said...

Stay calm Dayf, I'm sure you'll do fine! I felt the same way studying for my Microsoft networking exam recently, and I can definitely relate to wondering whether or not you're actually learning or just memorizing the test questions.

Do you already have the exam scheduled?

dayf said...

Shane: I'm going to hammer away at the Transcender this weekend so I can get my test voucher. I just scheduled a re-take of the class for next week. Once I finish that, I'll be scheduling the test, probably November 8th or thereabouts. the week after I start my Linux+ class, so hopefully I pass the test the first time so I can put all my focus on that.

Hey, how am I able to post a reply now, I work during the day! And how am I scheduling a class? I have to be at work? How can this be?

(foreshadowing)

dinged corners said...

If it's any comfort, I'm having that exact Russian/Klingon problem with my cardiac emergency unit. I trust this shall pass.

After a convincing rant about your dumbness, I fully expect you to get more than a 90 on this exam. It sounds incredibly hard, but you shall do it. As for Linux+, gaaaaaaaah. You are a brave man. A Brave man also.

And the real news in this post is that you only need two cards to have a complete 1933 Goudey Braves team set! Now THAT'S an accomplishment!

sruchris said...

dayf-

I passed my Linux+ exam a few years ago. Let me know if I can help out in any way.

kris said...

Oh man, have fun.

I'd love to take the Linux+ test, but I've almost certainly long forgotten it all.

About 5 years ago, I realized that doing things that were theoretically proper, almost always resulted in screwing something up.

Now, I'm 100% -- Do it with the GUI, Fix it with the command line.