Man, it's been a while since I did the last Gint-a-Cuffs post. Sorry, I got totally distracted by blasters.
Only Topps could make something as interesting as Area 51 the most boring card in the set. At least the Suez Canal card was vaguely filthy if you squinted.
237 Kevin Millwood
Good pitcher, rotten team. What would his career have looked like had he stayed with the Braves?
251 Chase Headley Lamarr
Now go DO... That VOODOO... That YOU DO... So weeeeeeeell!
289 Loafer Ramirez +2
Thanks for the new manager you lazy oaf!
66 Orlando Hudson
Exhibit A on why the current free agent draft pick compensation system is broken.
150 Grady Sizemore +2
So who else picked this guy early in your fantasy drafts?
Randall Munroe's favorite trading card I reckon.
TDH69 Alexei Ramirez TDIH +1
The Sox are pulling off a bigger Houdini act than the Braves this year. Braves vs. White Sox World Series, mickeyfickeys!
The inventor of the formulaic cop comedy that is awful, yet entertaining.
213 Mark Reynolds
Apparently striking out 200 times a season is acceptable now. Who'd a thunk it?
263 Ruben Tejada RC
Now I want a pastrami sandwich with kraut and thousand island on grilled rye. No, not want... NEED.
4 Princess Fielder
The Brewers are doing a remake of Midnight Cowboy with Ryan Braun playing a gigolo and Fielder in the role of Fatso Rizzo. Oscars all around, baby.
202 Aramis Ramirez
A miserable season by Aramis is barely noticed in the swirling vortex of Fail up on the North side.
And the rocket's red glare... buncha bombs in the air... gave proof to the night... that we still had a flag...
Fishies! I like this set. Much more civilized than showing off crooked politicians.
TDH57 Miguel Tejada TDIH +1
Honestly, I've pulled so many Miguel Tejada cards on this blog, I've totally run out of jokes for the guy.
11 Wade Davis RC
Other than Heyward, I have not recognized a single rookie so far. Apparently this guy doesn't suck from what I've heard.
288 Bobby Jenks
Not a great picture job by Topps on this one, it looks like he has mold growing on his chin.
256 Rick Porcello
I know damn well I've seen this picture before.
265 Kendry Morales
Lice looking photo on this one though. Shame about the injury.
IZ TEH HIT
AGR-AE Andre Ethier Jersey +8
Yessss! There are Dodger fans in the Gint-A-Cuffs! And their favorite players are... Kershaw and Kemp. #@$%!!! Oh well this is a sight better than Smarjzdjiajadjizjiadiza.
122 Yadier Molina mini +2
Nope. Another A&G back. Yadi make the set?
A 2006 mini of Brad Penny is in his spot. 2006 minis are scarce in my set and must be preserved.
TDH 36 Hanley Ramirez TDIH +2
I make fun of Hanley's defensive loafing, but this year Yunel Escobar has had just as many mental lapses as HanRam only without the hitting. Crumbs. Now I'm sad. Just so you know how long it took me to get this post together, Escobar was still on the Braves when I wrote about this card.
156 Cameron Maybin
Think the Fish would like Cabrera back?
Yay! My first Negro League player! Wayne played for the New York Cubans and was in the Dodgers' minor league system.
119 Dan Uggla
Speaking as a Braves fan, this guy is a colossal pain in the ass.
167 Dan Haren
Can you say trade bait? This guy is dealt every three years like clockwork.
252 Matt Garza
I think the Rays steal the division this year. Don't know how, I just think they will.
I am mildly bemused by the plethora of articles floating around written by sports wonks who are utterly shocked and horrified that the Phillies are seven games back. However, I do not think they will be seven games back all year long, and the Braves and Phils play each other a LOT in September. This season is long from over.
When you come to think about it, card bloggers ranting and raving about monopolies and licenses and gimmicks high end travesties and a certain publisher/grader/industry lobbyist/propaganda machine is just a lot of tilting at windmills, ya know?
TDH37 Ichiro TDIH +1
All Ichiro cards are good Ichiro cards. No exceptions. I dare someone to show me a bad Ichiro card. I'm waiting.
Most interesting non-scoring card:
All the interesting cards scored points this round.
Coolest This Date In History:
John Scopes Is Indicted For Teaching the Theory of Evolution
Three out of four historical events on these cards had to do with horror, war and death. I chose this one because Inherit the Wind is a damn fine film. Rent or stream or torrent this sucker whenever you get a chance, you won't be disappointed.
Box Topper: 8 points
Pack 1: ???
Pack 2: 3 points
Pack 3: 15 points
Pack 4: 8 points
Pack 5: 3 points
Pack 6: 7 points
Pack 7: 4 points
Pack 8: 10 points
Pack 9: 3 points
Pack 10: bupkis
Pack 11: 7 points
Pack 12: 7 points
Pack 13: ???
Pack 14: ???
Pack 15: ???
Pack 16: ???
TOTAL: 75 points + Pack 1, 13, 14, 15, 16's points
I had time to either upload the images or calculate the Gint-a-Cuffs points this morning, but not both. I think I chose wisely.