I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Kid Who Could - page 10

Today, Brian McCann is the Kid Who Could. In 1992 it was a goofy looking kid with a stupid hat. Let us discover the fate of your young hero now that Ozzie has led him into the press conference from Hell.

Quiz time! You've invited two wide-eyed kids into a Major League clubhouse for the first and likely only time in their lives so the obvious thing to do is to play an impromptu round of Jeopardy to see if they are worthy of the honor. The transition from ridiculous baseball fantasy comic to hardcore intellectual competition is somewhat abrupt, but speaking as a nerd myself, I APPROVE. This page is an homage to all the baseball trivia and 'You make the call' cartoons on the backs of baseball cards. Ozzies questions are good I suppose, but the questions I really want answered is who are all these random players on this comic? Two players on this page have telling clues to help us figure them out.

This guy here in the rundown with the dumpy ass shows two letters from his name on the back of his jersey. AM are the last two letters in his name. Let's check the 1992 St. Louis Cardinal roster and see who has those letters at the end of their name. Um, no one. 1991? Nope. 1990? Well, phooey. This will be harder than I thought. Wait, what if the photo was a reverse negative? The the AM becomes MA and you have left hander Joe Magrane in the rundown. It makes perfect sense! Well, except for the fact that the BALL STRIKE OUT on the scoreboard isn't reversed. Easily explained! the artist used an existing photo of a rundown as a guide and realised it was a reverse negative after completing his drawing. He fixed the words but nothing else. As long as you all don't figure out that the play goes from a third to home rundown to a home to first rundown with the flip of the picture, my explanation is entirely plausible. So don't figure that out, OK?

Now that we've sorted that out, who is this fellow?

Here we have a right handed infielder with number 50-something. The bottom of the second number is straight, so it has to be 1, 4, 7 or maybe 9. Let's check out a different St. Louis 1992 roster with uniform numbers and we find that it is... Number 54 Tracy Woodson, infielder for the 1992 St. Louis Cardinals! Right handed infielder, right number, right team, It has to be Tracy. Mystery solved! What's that you say? Tracy played first and third base and not second base as depicted in this picture? It's pre-game warmups!  There are kids wandering around on the field! Tracy can goof around and play a little second base if he wants! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL TRACY WOODSON'S MOMENT OF GLORY?!? Seriously, I dare you to find answers to these burning questions of our time better than Joe Magrane and Tracy Woodson. While you're answering questions, answer this one please:

Jamie Moyer was a Cardinal? When the heck did that happen??? I don't remember that at all!

1 comment:

madding said...

Moyer has a couple of Cardinals cards and I don't own them, sadly. I think they're 1991 Bowman and Stadium Club.