I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Depths To Which We Have Sunk

If it's gotten so bad that we need to turn to Julian Tavarez to save the bullpen, then it's time to fire Frank and Bobby, punch Ted Turner in the junk for selling to AOL and trade everybody. And I mean everybody. EVERYBODY. This ruins my memory of watching him cry after game 6 of the 1995 World Series. Yes, one of my fondest memories is of watching a grown man cry. I'm a cruel inhuman monster, so what else is new. The Brewers picked up CC, The Cubs just got Harden and the best we can do is Tavarez. Oy.


On a completely unrelated note, when the hell did Homer The Brave turn into a bootleg Mr. Met?? I... I can feel only shame. Bring back Chief Noc-A-Homa and the Bleacher Creature!!!

Update: Tavarez got in the game tonight with the Braves up 9-1 in the ninth. The results:

Walk
Single
Single
Fielder's Choice - 2 runs score
Walk

in other words:

PYEWP.

Today hasn't been completely terrible though, the Braves massacred the Dodgers, gained a game back on the Phading Phillies and the Teixeira rumor mill apparently includes Kevin Youkilis. I'd trade Twenty Million Tex straight up for Youk right this second. Hell, I'd throw in Lillibridge and Acosta too to get that deal done. They'd have to coin a new word to describe my reaction to that, 'cause pywep wouldn't cut it.

8 comments:

AlbuqwirkE said...

Chief Noc-a-Homa RULED!

Ben said...

Did not see this one coming. I can honestly say I never liked Julian Tavarez and I'm not really sure why. I remember him crying in '95 too now that you mention it.

Captain Canuck said...

I could just cry.

Motherscratcher said...

I would remember him crying in '95 also, if I could see past my own tears.

By the way, how long did it take to airbrush that picture? I remember Julian being hideously ugly. We're talking Otis Nixon ugly. On this card he almost looks normal.

dayf said...

I rooted for the Indians in '97 so I now feel no guilt for '95.

This card is from the 2002 Topps Heritage set, which was notorious for using some kind of photoshop weirdness on all the cards to make them look kind of like the paintings from the 1953 Topps set. It doesn't do justice at all to Julian's unique features.

Bay Rat North West said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

We sucked from day 1. No need to get retreads like this.

Anonymous said...

Boy am I glad he is no longer associated with the Brewers.

shoeboxlegends said...

I have to say that Julian was often a good mop up man or innings eater for the Red Sox over the past few years, and even had a few starts, but he's nothing to brag about as far as an aquisition goes.

I've seen him referred to as Freddy Krueger a few times and it's actually a pretty accurate comparison...