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Sunday, September 7, 2008

They're Not Pining, They've Passed On



These teams are no more! They have ceased to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker! They're a stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! If they didn't have to finish out the schedule they'd be pushing up the daisies! Their metabolic processes are now history! They're off the twig! They've kicked the bucket, shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THESE ARE EX-PLAYOFF CONTENDERS!!!


RIP 2008 Washington Nationals

The Nats have quite a few castoffs from the Braves on their roster this year. Willie Harris, Ryan Langerhans, Pete Orr, Johnny Estrada, Ray King, Odalis Perez. Too bad the Braves suck almost as bad as the Nationals. Maybe they should raid the roster of the Angels or Red Sox next time. They did do one thing right though - not signing Andruw Jones.

RIP 2008 Baltimore Orioles

This has been a terrible year for the teams on the I-95 stretch. I don't know why The O's were so bad this year, they have a ton of talent like Brian Roberts and.. um... well, um.. er. Yeah. No wonder Angelos refuses to approve a trade of Roberts. Let's hope the minor leagues are stocked.

RIP 2008 Cincinnati Reds

The Reds had Ken Griffey Jr., Adam Dunn, Aaron Harang, Brandon Phillips and Bronson Arroyo. They have a truckload of young players like Joey Votto, Johnny Cueto, Jay Bruce, Edinson Volquez and Homer Bailey. They went out and spent a lot of money on Francisco Cordero to lock down games for their pitching staff. They play in a great park with supportive fans. So wha hoppen? I think we all know.

Wouldn't Voom if you put 10,000 volts though them:

Oakland Athletics: Elimination Number = 1
Kansas City Royals: Elimination number = 3
San Diego Padress: Elimination number = 3
Atlanta Braves: Elimination number = 3

2 comments:

Bay Rat North West said...

Dear Johnny Bench,
Please let be first in line to purchase tickets to kick Dusty Baker in the nuts.

Gellman said...

Dear MLB,

Please realize that Dusty Baker knows as much about how to manage a baseball team as the guy from my work who thought a bunt was a cake.

Thank you.