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Thursday, May 28, 2009

How did I get mixed up in this

Motherscratcher and Beardy are turking off on their respective blogs this week with a battle to the death between two boxes of 2007 Turkey Red. Somehow I ended up getting drafted as the commish. So I followed the example of previous baseball commishes and assumed absolute dictatorial powers wielded with arbitrary and unfair judgements.

Can ya believe after dragging me into this mess there was a complaint??

So I backed down on the Chipper issue (but if they forget that Chipper is A Star ever again they can kiss their Anti-Trust exemption goodbye) but I will not back down on the Alex Rodriguez Road to 500 gawdawful mirror card ruling.

Listen, I understand that for someone who wasn't actively collecting in 2007, these card just look like innocuous shiny A-Rod inserts. Shiny is good, right? A-Rod, well, he's a star at any rate. It's a good card to get, right?


WRONG.


If you weren't collecting in 2007, you cannot fathom the true evil of these damn cards. At the beginning of 2007, we had already been inundated by Mantle Home Run cards and Barry Bonds Home Run cards in packs of Topps. Generation Now had also reared its ugly head as a Topps insert set. Collectors were completely damn sick of cards that all looked the same except for the number on the front. So what does Topps do? They added another damn mirror set, this time Shiny and with A-Rod plastered all over it. But they didn't limit it to just Topps packs this time, oh nooo... THEY INSERTED THEM INTO EVERY FREAKING PRODUCT. Before, you could just avoid Topps to stay away from these mirror card abominations, but now you couldn't escape them wherever you went! Do you now understand? These were in everything! You couldn't escape them! High-end, retro, base, whatever kind of Topps pack you bought, THESE THINGS WERE THERE.

The horror.

THE HORROR.

I'm not the only one who felt this way. Take Chris Harris of Stale Gum. He knows his cards, right? Here's what he had to say about them:

The A-Rod Road to 500 mirrors are to Topps Heritage (and for that matter every other 2007 Topps set) what Kyle's cousin is to the South Park kids. You wish they'd just go away. But for some reason, they just keep coming back to ruin everything.



That is the A-Rod Road to 500 insert set. It just kept coming back.

These cards are the evil spawn of Satan and if you just can't understand how dreadful they are then I can honestly say that you are lucky to not have gone through the horrific ordeal.

One more thing though: If you don't trust me on this, I'll appeal to one other authority. Ben Henry of the Baseball Card Blog. This is how he described the cards in hit 2007 Allen & Ginter box rip and review:
1 A-Rod Home Run Bullshit Waste of Space
That's his words, not mine. And if ya can't trust the guy who recreated Casey At The Bat using baseball cards, who can ya trust.

Guys, enjoy your circle turk, but beware the evil that is the Road to 500.

(yes I know Sooz collects 'em. They're still evil. Eeeeevilll!!!)

10 comments:

AdamE said...

I feel the same way about those dam YSL cards in 08 being in every single Upper Deck product. I made a comment about it the other day and wouldn't you know it the girls over there at A Cardboard Problem liked them too. I think their real Cardboard Problem must be their taste in cards/teams.

Captain Canuck said...

Boom goes the dynamite!!!

beardy said...

I was only arguing because I wanted to win, and this card was not included in the original rules, so I had the chance to maybe wiggle my way into some extra points.

I HATE these cards, LOATHE these cards, and A-rod to boot.

My complaint was actually meant as more of a joke. Sorry if you took offense Commish. You are wise which is why we chose you.

I still maintain that beard envy may have factored into the decision, but have decided to set it aside.

Your ruling stands, and I gave myself negative 2 points for the pack.

Thanks for being part of the craziness.

White Sox Cards said...

These cards are an abomination. They are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take them away!

dayf said...

No offense taken, I just gotta preach & teach, brother.

And if I didn't have to look professional, I'd show you a BEARD, whippersnapper...

beardy said...

Unfortunately I have to look "professional" as well.

I still let it rock out in the winter though.

TRY AND STOP ME!

madding said...

And I'm sure you would say the same about a Chipper Jones Road to Whatever Arbitrary Statistic Topps Pulls Out Tribute cross-product insert set, right?

dayf said...

I'd absolutely hate a Chipper Jones mirror set. I don't want to chase down 500 more Chipper Jones cards!

dayf said...

Now - if they got rid of David Wright on the Topps of the Class ad cards and replaced him with Chipper, I'd be trading real cards for the damn things.

steveisjewish said...

Circle Turk = Genious