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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Lost Box of Total Awesomeness - Desperately Trying To Make Donruss Awesome

Ok, this sucker needs to be put to bed already. There are thankfully only four more posts after this one. And then you will truly know the Awesome. In the meantime here's some old Donruss.

30 1981 Donruss cards

Give or take a couple because the cards don't really want to slide against each other easily. They're not really sticking together, they just don't like being moved. They're all pretty beat up and most are slightly different sizes from all the others. Here's five for your enjoyment, because I don't want to scan six.

That collar scared the bejeezus out of me. Then I saw the socks.

I want to know how in the world the photographer set up the lighting for this picture. Mike's uniform has to be radioactive or something.

If you want a baseball cap that has scrambled eggs on the bill on a trading card pretty much your only options are the 1970 Seattle Pilots cards and this one. Man, I want one of them hats.

It's completely stupid, but I'll never get over the novelty of Danny Ainge on a baseball card.

Compared to the other photo disasters on '81 Donruss cards (and I left out some real doozies) This card of Mookie as actually quite good looking. Comparatively speaking.

4 1982 Donruss cards

Rickey Keeton becomes spokesman for this small group by virtue of the 'stache. Moving on...

28 1983 Donruss cards

This is definitely the best group of the bunch. That's not saying a whole lot though.

The quest for perfect sideburns.

Kirk rockin' the 'stache. There are a ton of mustaches in '83 Donruss.

Nice card of Hawk getting a hit. There's a lot of cool cards in this pile.

Aaaaand the coolness dies a horrible death.

I've developed a loathing for Joe Morgan that I normally reserve for politicians and short printed cards.

1 1987 Donruss card

Completely skipped over '84-'86. Not awesome. The "total awesomness" moniker I hung on this box is being tested sorely by the Donruss suck.

2 1989 Donruss cards

Zero 1988 Donruss cards = Awesome! More awesomerest than that is Dick Perez' rendition of the Sabo Specs.

2 1990 Donruss cards

Which would you rather see: a bent 1990 Donruss Joe Girardi card or Tony Gwynn. That's what I thought.

1 1991 Donruss card

I hate the green borders of this set with a passion. When you sit down and really think about it though, the blue borders are pretty awful too. Eh, it's Dave Justice. MVP!


I was planning to post this on A Pack A Day, but this post is very, very close to having the entire box lose its Awesome label and It needs a little oomph. When you see what's up soon, you'll agree that it would be a complete shame to mess up the awesome. So here for your edification...

A Coca-Cola Nolan Ryan 1992 Donruss Pack

16 of 26 Nolan Ryan

There was one of these packs in every 12 pack of Coke, Diet Coke and probably a couple other flavors. Each packhad only one Nolan card in it. With my caffeine addiction I think I had the complete set within three weeks.

364 Bill Spiers

I'm forever blowing bubbles........

369 Brett Butler

During the late '80s The Braves' outfield was so incredibly bad that I rewrote history in my mind so that the Len Barker trade never happened. As far as I was concerned Brett was out in center field for the Braves instead of Terry Harper or Oddibe McDowell. As a result I collected Brett's cards and simply refused to acknowledge the logo on his uniform.

375 Paul Gibson.

Another player whose glasses were half the size of their head. Just think of Bogener's card with a Detroit D on the cap and you're good. Here's the back of Nolan's card instead.

This post was really scraping the absolute dregs of Awesome. I promise the next three posts will increase the Awesome quotient exponentially. I know there are those out there that scoff, "this is not awesome, this is teh suck" but the unbelievers will soon repent.

Next up: RANDOMNESS.

2 comments:

skoormit said...

I saw Dawson out of the corner of my eye and thought it was Vlad. Who knew they had such similar swings?

mmosley said...

Hey Donruss WAS awesome in the 80's. '85 and '87 were my favorite years. Diamond Kings were the most awesome-est!

I feel a little 80's dirty after using the word "awesome" so many times.