I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Kid Who Could - Page 1

All righty then, we've passed the lawyer approved warning to never ever go out and play lest Kellogg's be liable for any injuries suffered trying to play baseball like an anthropomorphic tiger. Time for some comics. We set the scene in an average kitchen in suburbia. Breakfast is served, complete with delicious Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. What, did you expect waffles? This Week In Baseball plays an Ozzie Smith highlight on an absolutely ancient television set. How about that! And two disturbingly freaky children are there to enjoy the repast.

Ok, what the hell is going on with that kid's hair. Not the blonde kid, he's the hero and thus designed to be a Macaulay Culkin clone. Although in panel two, he looks less like Home Alone and more like a Hitler youth from Triumph of the Will. It took all my willpower to not MSPaint a little blonde toothbrush mustache and a pink, purple and teal exxxxtreeeeme swastika on the kid. No, I'm talking about frogboy.

What in the world is that mop on his head? When has Davy Crockett coonskin cap hair ever been an acceptable fashion statement? If the kid was a little less dorky and a little more rednecky I would say that is an example of  the rare reverse mullet. Party on top, business in the back. Although that's more like an orgy than a party.

I think I got the hairstyle figured out after some serious thought on the matter. I was wondering why these two kids were eating breakfast together. They are either friends or brothers. They sure can't be brothers unless the milkman has cokebottle glasses and a mop of orange hair. If they are friends, then why is Macaulay rushing off to play baseball leaving his dorky friend in the house? Then it struck me - that kid is the dictionary definition of red-headed stepchild. While the blonde aryan son gets proper fuhrer haircuts from the hair stylist, Frogboy McGinger gets the bowl cut. The bowl has apparently gotten bigger and bigger over the years.

This page sets up the plot quite nicely. Baseball fan sees kids about to play baseball and rushes out to try to get into the game. Dorky stepbrother warns the baseball fan that he'll never get picked because children are cruel hateful monsters who only wish to crush your dreams. Plucky hero rushes out anyway to almost certain disappointment. Actually frogboy might actually be the hero in this tale. After all, he's the one who knows not to try any new exercises without proper adult supervision. No, a talking tiger is not proper adult supervision.


Ryan said...

That hairstyle was all the rage back in the early nineties. Remember Vanilla Ice?

Kevin said...

"FrogBoy McGinger" made me laugh out loud at my cubicle. Well done.

Todd Uncommon said...

So, will our hero, Peter (not) Parker, be bitten by a radioactive breakfast tiger, thus developing unique superpowers like milk-able fangs, a tail, and flaking, frosted fur?

Is his half-(human) brother the future Doctor Octopus Jr.?

Did Peter's mom hook up with Otto Gunther Octavius when she was in that "experimental" phase in college? Just because D-O-J (Doc Oc, Jr.) is smaller, it doesn't necessarily follow that he's younger.

And what is Peter wearing anyway, a hoodie vest? A Charlie Brown muscle shirt with a right arm hole that's bigger than the left?

Is the half-brother's problem because he's (gasp) Canadian? (check the fine print to see where this all-American piece of literature was printed...)

Stay tuned, treu beeleevers!

Until the next page, Exsnelinoreior!

ernest of canada said...

how dare you mock our national haircut!

dayf said...


No, Vanilla Ice doesn't count. his stuck straight up, not poofed out.

I need to know...

DC said...

Your deconstruction of 'The Travails of Frogboy McGinger' made our day.

Haircutwise, perhaps it's a Situation.

Dave said...

FYI in addition to Ozzie they also did a HIGH HURDLES comic w/Jackie Joyner Kersee. And one w/Nolan Ryan though I can't recall the title.

Todd Uncommon said...

A quick poke on eBay for "Nolan Ryan comic book" pops up "The Winning Pitch", which can be yours for four or five bucks plus shipping.

dayf said...

I bought this one for like a quarter so they can keep Ryan.

Dave said...

awesome work Todd!