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Thursday, June 19, 2008

More 19th Century Hotties

It's Thursday night and any alum of the University of Georgia School of Excessive Partying knows that it's time to go out drinking and hit on some sorority girls! You can sleep in and ditch class tomorrow, nothing important is ever taught on Fridays anyways. Isn't it summer break yet? Or is it summer semester. Ya know, cause I ditched too many classes and flunked. Anyhoo, if you were matriculating back in the 1890's in Athens you could go downtown to the 40 Watt and maybe run into some fine girlies like these. You sure couldn't find any in classes because women weren't allowed at UGA back then.

Aww yeah, check out this lady. I bet her daddy's rich, all the sorority girls' parents are loaded. Only problem is they think they're all a bunch of princesses. Oh wait, she IS a princess... actually a Queen. The Queen of Greece to be precise. And since her granddaddy and cousins were all Tsars of Russia, that is a very good indication that her family is filthy rich. At least until the revolution that is. Like pretty much all European Royalty she's connected to just about everybody. Don't believe me? You know that Prince William guy? Over in England? Diana's kid? Future King of England assuming the peasants don't rise up and lop off all their heads? His grandfather is her grandson. That's right, this old Allen & Ginter card is of Prince Willie's great great grandmother. She's no stranger to kings, not only did she marry one, but her son and grandson were kings as well although they didn't have great luck. Her son Constantine had to abdicate the throne after backing the wrong side in World War One. His son Alexander ascended the throne only to die a few years later after getting bitten by a monkey. That's right, death by monkey attack. This is why rich people need to stick to their tiny purse dogs instead of buying crazy ass pets.

Her sons apparently got their weird luck from their mother. Olga was a do-gooder who did lots of charity work and and was responsible for endowing several hospitals. On a visit to a hospital that was tending to wounded soldiers most likely shot up in some phony skirmish intended to enrich the coffers of the Ruling Elite (some things never change, do they folks) she discovered that despite the fact that everyone spoke Greek, and the Bible was written in Greek, that no one could actually read the thing. Archaic form of the language and whatnot. Being a deeply devout Orthodox Christian herself, she thought it would be a great comfort to the soldiers to be able to read the Bible for themselves the next time her husband sent them off to have a pissing contest with Crete or Turkey or whoever. She asked an archbishop if translating the Bible into Modern Greek was a good idea, and he said sure because she was a queen and you don't piss off queens. So she went to the Holy Synod with this great idea and they told her no. Queens don't usually hear that word so she asked again and they told her Hell No. This threw her a bit, but being a queen she just went ahead and did it anyway and kept all the translations for personal use. Meanwhile, another dude was writing his own translation in a different dialect, and he published an exerpt in a newspaper and started selling copies. This caused the theologians to go batshit, the linguists joined them because they didn't like the dialect the other guy used, the press jumped in because they know a juicy story when they see it and before you know it there are riots, deaths, Archbishops resigning and governments falling. The brouhaha was called "Evangelika"as in the Greek word for gospels, Evangelion, so now I'm morally obligated to post a version of Fly Me To the Moon, because I am obsessed with Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Whew! From Allen & Ginter to monkey bites to bible fights to anime! Who knew royalty was so complicated??

1 comment:

tm87 said...

Wow. What a crazy post.

Well, I was Mary Queen of the Scots when I was in 6th grade. It was some strange assignment and I had to dress up like her and everything. Yeah, all queens were crazy b*tches.

Cool card though. Rare find. :)