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Monday, June 2, 2008

Fresh 2 U - Terry Pendleton

This, sadly, is the last Florida Agriculture Commission Braves card. While All-Stars get crummy raw broccoli (and Greg is an All-Star so all you haters can suck it) but MVPs get strawberries! And........ stuff. I do not know what is in that bowl. I do not WANT to know what is in that bowl. It's white, and chunky, and has enough density to support several large strawberries atop it. Could it be ice cream? Not in the hot Florida sun during a photo shoot it ain't. Could it be cottage cheese? Possibly, but more likely is that it was strawberries and cream which curdled into cheese in the 100 degree heat and 110% humidity. Could it be Elmer's Glue? I wouldn't put it past Commissioner Bob after he already handed out mutant tangerines and raw broccoli for this set. Whatever it is, Terry's not the least bit happy about it. Now, I'm not the biggest strawberry fan in the world, but no one makes a face like that when nibbling on one. Terry knows exactly what's in that bowl and he's not happy at ALL. I'm beginning to think this whole agriculture set has nothing to do with promoting nutrition and has EVERYTHING to do with MURDERING the Atlanta Braves with poisoned fruit! There are a lot of transplanted New Yorkers in Florida... how do we know Commissioner Bob isn't a... a... Mets fan?!? It all makes sense now! I knew it! Florida was evil the whole time! You can't fool a University of Georgia grad! Screw you Florida, and just watch as the Braves beat up on your Marlins this week!!!

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