I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Cutting Crew

Everyone here advocated cutting the cards so they are in the contest. Some of them get extra entries due to their unique suggestions.
Stormy said... Use a pizza cutter. Pizza + cards = WIN.

I tried using a pizza cutter on my 1998 Zenith packs and it didn't work. He's thinking outside the box though. +1 entry

Joe S. said... Cut them with dull, rounded scissors that you used to have in elementary school. This will ensure frayed edges - just like box bottoms are meant to be!

I did this many times in elementary school. +1 entry simply for the nostalgia value.

Matt said... .. Tomahawk-chop them up! Using an actual tomahawk. Anything to free Rickey Henderson from being forever attached to Greg Gross

Good idea (and blatant suck-up to a Braves fan), but sadly all my tomahawks are foam.

Motherscratcher said... Definately cut them for 2 main reasons:1. I like you. If I didn't like you I would say leave them uncut. This would sentence you to an existence with these big uncut panels that don't really fit anywhere and you have to kind of find a place to file them away but there isn't really anywhere that they fit and they just kind of kick around and you move them from place to place but they don't really fit anywhere and you have to kind of find a place to file them away but there isn't anywhere that they fit and they just kind of kick around and you move them from place to place but they don't really fit anywhere sort of deal.I like you too much for that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Well, maybe Capt Canuck, but he's Canadian so he hardly matters.2. I'd like to see you cut them with an exacto knife...with your left hand (or right if you're left handed). After drinking 3-4 beers. No ruler - that would be cheating. Give you a real chance to show off some skills. You should definately video this and post it. Good times will be had by all. Keep some band aides handy, just in case.Well, that's my opinion anyway.

This is the one I'm probably going to do. At least the beer part. Plus he likes me! He really likes me! +5 entries

Greg said... Cut the cards.Go out and buy a frickin' shark with a frickin' laser beam attched to it's frickin' head, and then have the shark cut the cards./Dr. Evil

When I originally wrote the post one of my card cutting examples was sharks with frickin' laser beams, but I deleted it to see if anyone came up with it on their own. +3 entries

night owl said... Cut, cut!Why? Because I dug the Gross-Henderson-Lasorda-Hernandez panel out of giant pile of trash in the stock room of the drug store where I used to work way back in '89, rescuing it from the trash compactor.On the way home with the panel in my old, rusted Chrysler LeBaron, I swore I heard the Hernandez panel say, "Oh, thank you, thank you, Mr. Card Collector. But please cut us into 4 individual cards. We will never be truly free unless we have our identity (yes, I know that rhymes)." Then Hernandez said, "Isn't my mustache grand?"So, I brought it home, used the only pair of scissors I could find -- my grandmother's dull sewing scissors -- and freed them once and for all. Unfortunately, I didn't do that great of a job, and most of them are creased.

+1 entry because Keith Hernandez talks to Night Owl and that scares me.

White Sox Cards said... Cut, but go to Hobby Lobby and pick up a cheap paper trimmer with the guide and the slicing arm so you can get a precise cut. When these were new, my mistake was not having one.

I'm too broke to go out and buy cutting hardware unfortunately.

Jeffrey Wolfe said... Cut 'em with a guillotine paper cutter like everybody's art teacher used to have. That way they're nice and straight, that's more than you can say for Topps and Fleer most of the time. And for the love of god why is Greg bleeping Gross on one of those!!?? Was he still playing in 1988!!??

+1 entry for also wondering what the hell Greg Gross did to deserve a box-bottom card.

McCann Can Triple said... Cut'em. Cut 'em. cut em up!Take them to a barber shop and pay the barber a shinny quarter to have them “professionally” cut.

Professional barbers are very touchy about their scissors, I'd likely get stabbed.

Don said... You definately need to cut them, preferably with a paper cutter, but be careful that you don't stick your finger in the way of the arm as you bring it down and cut off a tip of your finger. Blood does not look good on a card. If your place of business does not have a paper cutter use scissors. Like the cards on the bottoms of the King Dons boxes back in the 70s these cards were made to be cut. That was the intent of the manufacturer. You really don't want to go against their intent, do you? Also, think of these panels as conjoined quads. Free them so they can live happy and fruitfull lives.

+1 entry for the King Dons reference.

mmosley said... CUT! Who wants a panel of 80's and 90's wax? Nobody!But who wants a 1990 Fleer Blue Jays card? Oh wait, what's my point?Cut 'em. With a candlestick in the Billiards room!

Nice Clue reference, but he should have said who did it with the candlestick in the billiards room. (I think it was Miss Scarlet)

mikepelfreyshouse said... I say cut em. Use one of those things art classes used to have, one of those big blades and a little board that make almost perfect cuts.

I remember those things, but I haven't seen one in years. I think they've been outlawed for their potential for general mayhem.

Jim said... Cut them for the same reason I cut out my '89 Topps Box Bottoms - they look great in the binder with the rest of the set. I actually had a paper cutter thingy on hand to slice and dice and they came out nicely. Greg Gross will thank you.

+1 entry because I am thinking about putting my 1986 Topps set into a binder and the box bottom cards (with the red tops) would look awesome in that binder.

Alec said... I'd say cut it! And to cut it, find a little kid somewhere and have him/her rip at it until four cards are produced. May not be the neatest way, but at least you'll share the joy with some random kid.

This has potential... +1 entry

Todd Uncommon said... You so need to cut these. There remains, I am sure, far too many 'pristine' specimens of these full of cards, sitting in cases inside somebody's Public Storage unit about to foreclosed upon and the contents auctioned off (Not mine. Yet. I think. Pretty sure.)Until those hobby fugitives are freed from their card jail, these are far more interesting when they're cut.Besides, judging from the images, these panels were already hacked off the rest of the box with left-handed safety scissors at least fifteen years ago. Doesn't count as pristine unless it's got the box sides and top, right?These cards are far more interesting for player collectors when singled out. The legion of Dave Steeb (Stieb? Steib? Stabe? Steyb? Beets?) collectors out there would certainly have forgotten about this specimen--especially one cut out as a singleton.Plus, these are unexpected hits in the player-tabbed (Canseco, Jose. Canseco, Ozzie.) singles boxes at shops and shows. Someone will look at one of these and go, "Huh. I don't remember that from third grade. Three bucks? This might be rare! What's the risk?"And then you're three bucks richer!As for cutting, unless you cut diamonds by hand for a living, it's be near impossible to hand-cleave these without looking like you were trying to straighten out a snake. Use a heavy-duty guillotine paper cutter. You know, the kind that intimidates even Kinko's employees. Plus, You need to hold the panel hard against an edge, and then give the old Robespierre for a straight, even, almost factory cut. (The hinge types always mislead you, and end up with cuts that slant, as it pulls your panel sheet out as it cuts.)Best of luck, Monsieur!

-1 entry for Wall O' Text +1 entry for left handed safety scissors +1 entry for Legion of Stieb -1 entry for even thinking of charging three bucks for a box bottom card +1 entry for scaring me with the paper guillotine

dinged corners said... Cuttenheimer. Method: fine-tuned blowtorch.

I actually have a small blowtorch for making creme brulee... +2 entries for giving me evil thoughts.

Ben said... I say cut them, but only if you use something like THIS (the knife, not my car). Seventeen inches of card cutting fury!!!Now I'm tempted to cut my '88 Fleer box bottoms with it...

+1 entry for the machete. +2 entries if he actually cuts those '88 box bottoms with it and posts it before I do the drawing.

Drew said... Cut them using scissors. Some of those cards are nice!

Scissors have already been thoroughly discussed.

Fuji said... If those box bottoms were mine... I'd cut them up with my students' scrapbooking scissors... you know... the ones that create zig-zag borders. Anyways... I'd cut them up... put my signature on them (hard signed... no flippin' sticker autos)... and post them on ebay as 1 of 1's.

I had a bunch of those scissors but they vanished. If I can find any I'll cut a box with them though.

Tom. said... Cut them with a scalpel. Separate them from their eternal co-joined quadruplet hell.

Interesting cutting device, but card quadruplets (cardruplets?) had already been mentioned.

JD's Daddy said... Cut em "Real Genius" style! Make sure there is no popcorn in the house.

Real Genius reference COMPLETELY out of nowhere. +3 entries.


Captain Canuck said...

okay, unless you have a small child of your own, you can't just randomly grab some kid to "share the joy" with.
our Uncle dayf will then become Mr. Ben Dover of Fulton County lockup. You might as well be singing Michael Jackson songs at band camp....

Ben said...

well... here you go. heheheee

Spline Hobs said...

Gear cutting tool design and production requires much specialized knowledge.