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Saturday, November 22, 2008

DON'T CHEW THE GUM

I'm not talking about this gum:

I'm talking about this gum:

Brand spankin' new right out of the first pack of Heritage High Series I opened.

Oligato House put out a warning about the gum in 2008 Heritage High Series. I couldn't believe that Topps gum would taste bad. Not that it ever tasted really good, but it was baseball card bubblegum flavor. This stuff ain't Bubble Yum, but it's passable gum. Topps originally printed up the cards in order to sell more gum in the first place. Gum is what Topps does. So I ripped open my serial numbered pack of gum and started chewing...

Oh. Dear. Lord. What fresh hell is this???

This is not Bazooka gum. I don't know what the heck it is, but it's not good 'ol Topps gum. this gum has a really weird sour taste to it. Not Sour Patch Kids sour, more like milk that was left in the fridge for two months sour. It has sort of a sauerkraut/fermented goat curds/hákarl combination of flavors to it. I chewed it for a couple minutes before having to spit it out and i still taste the nasty stuff. It's really rancid and I'm not talking about the good kind.

What is going on at Topps? Squirrell cards are silly but I can deal. Adding an unobatinable card 661 to the set is really freaking annoying but I will persevere. But fucking up the gum?? What... how... that's just beyond wrong. I don't know man, there's a sickness... there's a serious sickness in Duryea and I don't know if they're going to make it though this one. I sincerely hope they are just setting up a really elaborate punchline for that Sklar Brothers show, because otherwise it's a sad day in the card community.

9 comments:

Dave said...

Yeah that is really sad. My wife and I enjoyed the good gum from regular Topps Heritage for months earlier this year.

Ben said...

The gum I got out of some discounted blasters of '08 Opening Day was still chewable in August.

However, not a single piece was chewable from TWO BOXES of '87 Topps that I opened this summer. You just had one bad piece, I had 72 that were simply unchewable. I should complain.

dayf said...

No, you don't understand. The unchewable piece of gum, the one that tasted like a plague in my mouth, was from a pack of Heritage High Series that WENT LIVE 4 DAYS AGO. I expect '87 Topps gum to be horrible, not '08 Heritage gum.

Ben said...

oh I understand all right. I still want satisfaction from my 21 year old gum too =P.

I haven't had any recent (ie. 08) gum that tasted bad... I've had some that was hard as a rock, but none that tasted like black death.

madding said...

My girlfriend recently had a bad experience with recent Topps gum and made me try a piece that I had on my desk (I usually take any accumulated gum, the wrapped kind, and take it to work and leave it by the candy dish.) Anyway, my gum just tasted like the standard Bazooka kind, so I thought my girlfriend might be crazy. Maybe she got some of this horrible krautgum.

Anonymous said...

I got a few packs when the 08 heritage first came out. I had my 12 year old cousin with me, and I tossed a piece to her. Normally she eats everything! She took one bite of it and the look on her face was classic. I said its gum! it can not taste that bad. So I took it from her and bit a piece off. It took less than a second to spit it out:) Ive had '87 topps gum that tasted better!

Lonestarr Still Kickin' said...

I dunno about all this... I wasn't brave enough to try the gum from my high series jumbo pack (13 Heritage, 3 U&H, $5, waste of money), but my mom was there when I busted it, and took the gum. She said it was a little bit different flavor, like vaguely strawberry tasting or something, but that it was actually better then the plain stuff from the pack of WWE Heritage IV I also bought. Maybe it's just the jumbo packs that it isn't horrible though.

Dave said...

I like the gum. You can watch me chew it and disagree with you here.

dayf said...

Ok, fine. It's not totally unchewable, I just hate it like death. There is a funky aftertaste that makes me ill. If you like funky aftertastes, by all means chew away. I'll stick to the Mexican gum in the Wrestling packs.