Basically the plot of the episode revolves around this crazy immortal God-Robot thing that has decided he is the ultimate judge of humanity and everyone who has not lived a worthwhile life must be eliminated. So this robot travels through time visiting every single person who ever lived and
Ok, now everyone is COMPLETELY confused. We've somehow transitioned from an episode of Red Dwarf to an entry in Kevin's Orioles Card O the Day blog. I'm guessing the reaction to this choice is somewhere between bewilderment and angry incredulity. I don't even like Updates & Highlights**, I've been griping about it for over a year now and I just sacrificed Bowman freaking Heritage to save this garbage? For a card of Oscar Whatsisface? Who is this guy anyway? How can this card personally justify the existence of Topps Updates and Highlights? Well, let's look at the back of this wonderful card and you'll see why a card of Oscar Salazar is worth it.
Just look at those stats. No, I mean really look at them. FULL. CAREER. MINOR. LEAGUE. STATS. There are more minor league teams on the back of this card than major league games played. Let's look over this career, shall we?
1994 - Signed by A's as an amateur free agent.
1998 - 26 games with the Arizona League Athletics (Rookie League).
1998 - 28 games with the Southern Oregon Timberjacks (Low A).
1999 - 130 games with the Modesto A's (High A).
2000 - 111 games with the Midland Rockhounds (AA).
2000 - 4 games with the Sacramento River Cats (AAA).
2001 - 130 games with the Midland Rockhounds (AA).
2001 - 5 games with the Sacramento River Cats (AAA).
1/24/02 Waived by A's, Signed by Tigers.
2002 - 53 games with the Erie Seawolves (AA).
2002 - 8 games with the Toledo Mud Hens (AAA).
2002 - Eight Glorious, Blissful Games With The Detroit Tigers
7/31/02 Waived by Tigers, Signed by Mets.
2002 - 28 games with the Binghamton Mets (AA).
2/17/03 Signed by the Angels.
2003 - 39 games with the Arkansas Travelers (AA).
2003 - 7 games with the Salt Lake Stingers (AAA).
5/24/03 Cut by Angels.
5/31/03 Signed by Royals
2003 - 78 games with the Wichita Wranglers (AA).
1/26/04 Signed by Indians
2004 - 44 games with the Akron Aeros (AA).
6/18/04 Cut by Indians
2005 - Played in Mexico
2006 - Played in Venezuela
2007ish - Ended up in Baltimore's system somehow
2007 - 136 games with the Bowie Baysox (AA).
2008 - 112 games with the Norfolk Tides (AAA).
2008 - Thirty-Four Heavenly, Orgasmic Games With The Baltimore Orioles Where He Actually Produced This Time
After all that, he gets called up when Steve Trachsel flops utterly and makes the most of his opportunity. The 30 year old infielder popped five home runs, hit .284 and earned himself at least a look in spring training for a job off the bench. The guy scrapped and clawed his way through a decade of bouncing around the bush leagues to earn a spot in the 2008 Updates & Highlights set. As far as I can tell, the guy only has three other cards from non-minor league sets. The guy's earned a card. No Topps U&H, no card. The set has justified its existence, and Oscar's card is the Card of the Week.
* Jesus Christ, there's a TV channel in Britain with my name. I thought the radio station was bad enough. Now do you understand why I go by Dayf?
** I better learn to like it quickly though, as it won the runoff election*** for the next blaster to rip.
*** If I go to Target and there's a blaster of Stadium Club Baseball there, Topps U&H can go to hell and burn brightly, democracy be damned.